WHEN YOUR OLD IDENTITY DOESN'T FIT

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey, hosted by two fellow travelers who found a soul connection on the path to higher consciousness. Our goal is to help you navigate the choppy waters you're likely to encounter on the spiritual path by sharing our experiences with you each week. Join us as we spill the tea on what it's like to wake up to your authentic self. Hello, I am Lola Singer, and today I am with my favorite co host. [00:00:32] Speaker B: Hello, my name is Ameril. [00:00:34] Speaker A: And just a little reminder, a little refresher of why we do this podcast. Yes, we wanted to help people on the spiritual path to understand that there are cycles and that it's not always the easiest ride. It's great. It's a good ride. We all love it. It's got its definite ups and sometimes it's got its neutrals, too. So that's what we wanted to talk about today. Cycles. And the. The title of our episode is you. [00:01:05] Speaker B: Can take it when your old identity doesn't fit. [00:01:10] Speaker A: Yes. And that pretty much describes the spiritual journey completely because we're always cycling, shifting, changing, growing, settling into a new, for lack of better word, Persona and adjusting to it. And just when we think that's who we ultimately will become, there's another cycle. And you shift and you change and you grow again. And in the process of growing, you're outgrowing too, right? [00:01:41] Speaker B: Yeah. So there's a lot of emotions that surface up, too. So that's one thing for sure to consider. And I think that the reason why this episode is so important is because a lot of people feel stuck or feel like they're doing things wrong. And this will be the episode that kind of clears. That clears you into fresh air, knowing that it is a. It's a step on the road. However, it's just getting to another place. [00:02:10] Speaker A: Yeah. So I think what we're really going to be focusing on more than the old identity is that period where you feel like you just walked up a flight of stairs. You're so proud of yourself. You got to the top and then you'd look up and you realize, oh, you're on the landing and there's another flight of stairs, right? Yes. And you're going, but I don't even feel ready to go up that other flight of stairs. I'm just on the landing. You know, I need to adjust to being on the landing and. Yes, you do. That's what we're here to talk about. It's perfectly normal to be in what they call this liminal State where you feel like you got part of you is in one world and part of you is in the other, and you don't know where to go. So you're kind of in a stasis, but really that stasis is part of the forward momentum, even though it doesn't feel like it at the time. So what are we calling this feeling of being kind of not in one world, leaving another and being in that in between? Is there anything you call it the. [00:03:17] Speaker B: Pause before him moves forward? [00:03:20] Speaker A: Yeah, it is. It is. It's like that breath, you know, when you breathe in, there's that pause before the exhale, and that's perfectly normal. Right. So if you think of this being a pause to breathe on your spiritual path so that you have the energy and the momentum to move forward from a balanced place, I hope that makes it better. That was a good way to describe it, Amaral. Yeah. So have you ever looked at your life and thought, you know, this doesn't quite fit anymore? I think all of us have. But you don't know what comes next. That's. I think that's the whole spiritual journey. I know you never know what's coming next. And I've been going through this lately, you know, where I can see that what was working is no longer working anymore. It's kind of crumbling away. Even the way that I do my tarot readings, it's shifting, and yet it's like, well, if that's not working anymore, what do I do now? You know? So I'm in that state where it's like, okay, how do I accept the changes so I can move forward? Anything you want to add to that, about how you're feeling? [00:04:38] Speaker B: Yeah, it's interesting to me that. I just had someone recently asked me, if you weren't doing what you're doing, what would you like to be doing? And I honest to God said this. I said, are you talking about 3D? Are you talking about spiritually? And the reason why I said that was because there's a huge difference between it. Because if you're talking about just shifting into another job, then, I mean, that's like, one thing that would drive your. Grab your interest. Right. But as you start working on your spiritual path, you want something more that fulfills you. So how do you even answer that to someone that can't, like, maybe, like, they wouldn't really understand what you mean with that? Because I'm looking more as being fulfilled with, aligning more with my purpose, something that makes me feel alive, something that doesn't necessarily transfer to a job because, I mean, let's be real. Like, who thinks of a job as like, oh, this is the greatest job on earth, Unless you're doing something you absolutely love, which is, again, good for you. But your alignment with things that you're gonna be doing in the future is gonna be so much bigger than just the title. At least that's what I have experienced in my own growth. [00:06:01] Speaker A: Yeah, but you gotta remember macrocosm, microcosm, as above, so below. So sometimes the 3D is part of this spiritual journey too, where you do get that inspiration to shift career paths, for example. And then that's what we're talking about as well. What do I do in the in between? You know, until I've made that commitment to the new. What do I do with this void? One of the ways I like to describe this particular feeling of being in between is to people when I'm counseling them is that it's just like a sailboat that's just sitting on the water and it's waiting for the wind to pick up. They call that the doldrums. You know, when you're so you just. It's fine. You're going to be moving forward, but you. What do you do in the in between? And I guess if. Let's look at it in a 3D way. If you were on a sailboat and you knew that the wind was going to pick up eventually, would you sit there worrying and, you know, fidgeting with every little gadget on the. On the boat? Or would you just sit back and relax and say, okay, I know I'm going to be fine, probably within an hour. [00:07:13] Speaker B: I think that one of the things that we don't understand is just to normalize that confusion. Like, nothing is truly wrong. This is a real face for you to go through. [00:07:23] Speaker A: And, you know, I think one of the things people forget on the spiritual journey is, you know, we go through these cycles, but our body is still wired in a way where it needs to adjust to the changes. So we need to be paying attention to our, you know, regulating our nervous system. And I do think that's what's going on in this liminal state. It's that, yes, we know we're moving forward, but let's just take that pause, that breath, because your body is adjusting to it, and you just need to understand the body takes time. [00:08:00] Speaker B: Well, that. And there's just so much more that plays out. Like, for example, you will be thinking about. Like, it would be more visible to you who you once were compared to who you are now. So in a way, you kind of go through a grieving process. You go through an understanding of seeing yourself in a. Like, in a whole different way of what you've seen before, which can be hard. [00:08:23] Speaker A: And maybe it's good to talk about what initiates you to change, because you're going to feel a push. You're going to feel, you know, if people are familiar with the term cognitive dissonance, what you used to do isn't fulfilling for you anymore. So you're going to feel that agitation while you're still doing it. That. And I don't mean agitation as far as anger. I mean agitation as far as movement. Yep. You know, I feel like I want to move forward. I feel like I want to move forward. And you're right. You're right. And so I guess what we're trying to let people know in this episode is that part of that agitation is. Is the period where you will be in a pause. And oftentimes that feels disorienting. But I do think it's a better feeling than that cognitive dissonance feeling. [00:09:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Which I think kind of falls good into the next thing we're going to be talking about. That is what people think it's happening versus what it's actually happening to them. Like, kind of bringing in the two. Like the one of. Because I think that every emotion is valid, and yes, you have the right to feel every single way you possibly can, but also it's also understanding those emotions that it's not just like you're not feeling them for no reason. And what it's truly happening within you. So one of the bullet points that we have on our information that we got to just get us inspired is what people often assume this pause is. Do you want to list off the first one? [00:09:58] Speaker A: Okay. Well, people assume when they're in that I'm not. I don't feel like I'm moving forward, but really you are. It's just that pause. People will sometimes think that they've lost their purpose. And that makes sense because you're feeling this push, you're inspired, especially on the spiritual path. It's like, oh, I feel like this is my. You know, let's just say how sometimes people talk like, this is my calling. You know, like, let's use the example, oh, my gosh, I'm an energy healer. Okay, so you had that epiphany. You're an energy healer now. What are you going to do with that? And that's. That in between. And then when you feel like you're in that pattern of being, okay, I know what I want to do. I know the direction I want to go by. I don't know how to get there. That's when people could possibly lose that inspiration or that momentum because they think they've lost their purpose. When it's really just kind of a regrouping. [00:10:51] Speaker B: Yep. Another way that people can look at it is I'm failing, which is very. It's a very strong emotion because obviously, nobody likes to fail. [00:11:01] Speaker A: I think we have a tendency to, when we. When we're in this position to think we're stuck. [00:11:06] Speaker B: Yes. [00:11:07] Speaker A: And that would make you feel like you're failing. [00:11:10] Speaker B: Yep. [00:11:11] Speaker A: And that's why it's. We felt it was important to address this topic. So you understand. No, you're not stuck. You're just in that transition phrase. Phrase phase. You're in the transition phase. You're fine. Everything's still moving forward, even though it feels like it's not. It's kind of like you're building and gestating the new. [00:11:36] Speaker B: And this next one, this next quote is really like. It really like it really sets. Sits with me because this would be something I would totally think in the past it was. I should have. Have this figure out by now because I thought it was like, you know, like in everything that it's taught to us, it's almost like it's taught, and then it's like you figure it out and you got it cleared. But in spirituality, it doesn't work like that because it's more profound. There's so much more to it that there's no such thing as figuring it all out because it's constantly expansive. It's like constantly evolving. You're constantly evolving, and you're constantly changing. So, no, you can't just figure it out by now, because once you think you figure it out, it goes into another level. [00:12:26] Speaker A: True. And also, I think when you were talking, I was. What I was imagining was, you know, sometimes things do move fast. You figure something out because you have an epiphany along the way, an aha moment, and you think, oh, well, I should have more of these. Right. But yet you're not. When you're in this liminal state, there's nothing moving fast. So you probably aren't having epiphanies while you're in it. So then I could see where you beat yourself up. It's like, I've had insights before. I've had wonderful motivations. I've been Getting the messages, the downloads before, why not now? And it's just the adjustment to a download you already had. Yep. Right. [00:13:06] Speaker B: And then the next one really can weigh on you. It's I made a mistake. Feeling like you actually made a mistake or you did something wrong. [00:13:14] Speaker A: Yeah. If you think things aren't moving fast enough. Like, let's go back to the energy healing example. It's like, oh, I was so inspired two weeks ago to be an energy healer. But I don't know if things don't seem to be falling in place for me, so. So I guess I was wrong. I mean, I could see that happening. Can't you? [00:13:31] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [00:13:33] Speaker A: So one of the things we've kind of figured out on the spiritual path is that it's not okay. It's not always mistakes that are going on. Sometimes it's happy accidents, like Bob Ross used to say, the painter. Right. So you can get redirected in this state, or you can keep, you know, getting the information that helps you move forward from this state, but the state itself is fine. And so maybe if you think about any insights I get in this particular liminal state, I'm going to think of as more of okay. If it didn't quite align with what I was thinking, well, that's a happy accident. [00:14:16] Speaker B: It's so, so interesting that you bring up painting because here's my thing with painting, right? Like, one time we did decided to go on this thing, and it was supposed to be like a spiritual thing of where we're putting our emotions and stuff. And it was so fascinating to me that I have never tried painting before. Right. And it's just like acrylic painting on a frame, and then if you messed up, you could just pour white all over it and start all over again. And it was like, so brilliant to me, and it was so profound because no matter what, I can't get it wrong. I can always, like, even if I get stuck, stuck somewhere, if I feel like I can't move forward, I can just put white painting and start all over again. And it was just. It was really satisfying because coming from someone that really, like, had issues with control, it's like this really, like, it makes it seem like you can't really get it wrong so you don't have to control it anymore. [00:15:10] Speaker A: Well, that's. That's kind of an interesting analogy if you think of the white paint being inspiration, isn't it? [00:15:16] Speaker B: Yes, it is. That's why I was like, ooh, this is cool. Okay, so what. What's usually true like, out of this little pause point, what actually is happening? What is something? Things that are true to that we need to understand. You want to start with the first one? [00:15:35] Speaker A: I think most people in the spiritual path have probably experienced this. An identity that once worked, no longer does. [00:15:43] Speaker B: Yep. [00:15:43] Speaker A: And I'm going through that right now as far as having to adjust how I present the work I do. And you're going through that right now too. So, Amaral, like, one of your good examples is, you know, how you transitioned out of being a teacher? Do you want to tell them about that? [00:16:06] Speaker B: So I used to be a teacher, and I actually was a teacher for quite a long time. I was teaching cosmetology, and I did that for about, like, 13 years total. 14 years, technically, because you do a year or two train to be. And at first, I got inspired by a great teacher because it. It always happens that way. Like, you get inspired by this great person that touches your life, and you're like, oh, wow, I want to be a teacher. And when I started, it was great. I learned so much. I was really connecting with, and I was really, like, helpful feeling like I had a purpose, and I was really happy from it. Well, all of a sudden, at the school that I was at, the students started changing, meaning I felt like I was doing more adult babysitting, and they weren't really there for the right reasons. But I started questioning myself of, like, what am I doing here? Like, I'm not getting really that this passion fulfilled by it anymore. So that's when I decided finally, after a long time, because I did put up with quite a bit. I'm like, I can't do this anymore. I'm burning myself out because I'm doing something that is not fulfilling me, and I need to start doing things that actually, like, move me forward. So that's how I decided to finally make the change. [00:17:30] Speaker A: Yeah. And for me, I got very uncomfortable. In my previous 3D job, I was a phone counselor to help people quit smoking. And it was a great job. I felt like I was helping people until we got bought out by a corporation. And it became very clear that it was no longer people oriented. It was number oriented. And I can't operate that way, so I don't know how I did it. They wanted you to talk to people within a certain number of minutes and cover a certain number of points. And I just talked to them as long as I needed to, but I still seemed to make my numbers. You know, I never was below what I was supposed to do, but I Would not compromise. And so it got to the point where it was just so clear to me that I was. Because I was in a call center, I could hear other people's calls, and I could hear all they were doing was going through the bullet points, and they weren't really. It's like, are they even listening to the person on the other phone, or are they just trying to fill in these blanks? And it became clear to me the pressure for people to fill in the blanks was over. Was taking over the care of the person on the other side of the phone. And morally, I could not handle that. So I had to go. So that's what we're talking about when, you know, okay, I've outgrown this situation. It's untenable for me to stay. So what's another thing that's probably very likely to be absolutely true on when you're in this situation? Yep, I already touched on this one. [00:19:04] Speaker B: Yeah. The nervous system hasn't cut up yet. The nervous system works a lot slower because it has to process everything. That new version of you has to be updated. It's almost like. [00:19:15] Speaker A: And also grieve the old version, and. [00:19:18] Speaker B: You grieve the old version. And so this. That. That nervous system, in order to upgrade into that new version of you, it really has to process. And part of that processing is going through different emotions that surface up. [00:19:32] Speaker A: It's a good time, too, in this in between to learn some coping techniques, you know, like deep breathing or meditation, you know, coloring books, whatever it is that helps you. Yeah, yeah. So that you can. You can help the nervous system while you're. You can give it a little hand doing things like that. [00:19:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:52] Speaker A: Okay. Another thing that was probably absolutely true when you're in that state is that the next role hasn't fully formed, so, you know, you're moving in another direction. Okay, so let's use the energy healer for an example. Here she gets that inspiration. I want to be an energy healer, but then there's different modalities. So where do you start? You know. You know, do I. Do I study reiki? Do I study qigong? Was it qigong? Yeah. Do I study the hands on the gentle touch one? I can't remember what that's called. Do I. And you know, do I become a massage therapist, or am I strictly energy healing? There's so many different modalities. So maybe, you know, you haven't fully formed the idea. You have the concept. I feel like an energy healer. I feel like this is my skill set. And now what? So that's totally normal. Do you have anything to add to that? [00:20:55] Speaker B: No, I kind of, like, I'm just thinking right now, just zoning out a little bit. [00:21:01] Speaker A: We're both kind of in that liminal state right now, so. And that's another thing about it, you know, know you may not. Because you're in this in between. It kind of feels kind of fuzzy and foggy sometimes. Yeah. And that's all right, too. [00:21:15] Speaker B: And sometimes it's just a matter of like, one of the things that when I connect with my spirit team that keeps telling me is like, sometimes you just have to feed what you actually enjoy in life because that itself brings the energy, the right energies to you. Like, you don't have to have everything figured out. You don't have to know exactly where you're going. You just have to really be more honest about what you want to feel now. Like, what are the feelings that you want to experience and that would align with something that will come your way, that aligns more with those type of feelings. [00:21:50] Speaker A: Yeah. And then something that came to me while you were talking is like, when you're in this in between state, this is not the time to push. So if you haven't fully formed what you're doing next, that's okay. It's better to sit with. Sit with it instead of trying to force yourself to get answers. Yeah. Okay. So another thing that could be happening where you are probably right, this is. [00:22:16] Speaker B: Actually happening, is life is organizing quietly. [00:22:21] Speaker A: Well, actually it says life is reorganized. [00:22:23] Speaker B: Life is reorganizing quietly. [00:22:26] Speaker A: Because it is. It is a new. A new organization. Yeah. Yeah. And that goes. I think that backs up everything we just talked about, doesn't it? Yeah. Okay. So if you are going through this where you feel like it almost feels like it's not even feeling stuck, because I don't think you get angry. I don't think you get. I mean, the agitation I'm talking about is not anger. Like I said, it just feels like that push forward, almost like sparks, you know? But you. You kind of feel calm. And this isn't a regression. You aren't going backwards. Okay. So that's something that's really important for people to know. [00:23:07] Speaker B: It's also not a lack of clarity. [00:23:10] Speaker A: No. I guess that goes with what I just said, doesn't it? It's your time to integrate and the answers will come. And if you can just accept that. Yeah. It's kind of like the analogy I like to use the. With people is, you know, you're getting on the train. And you're going to Chicago. Okay. Are you going to sit and worry the whole time that you're not in Chicago yet, or are you going to sit back and enjoy the ride? Yeah. The liminal state is, hey, isn't that beautiful scenery outside? [00:23:39] Speaker B: And you have to look at it for what it is, which is a transition phase. It's taking you somewhere. It's not bringing you back. It's just fully, just unique unfolding more for you rather than it's there for you. [00:23:54] Speaker A: Yes. So where. Where does this show up? Well, we already talked about one of them, so. So just so you know, you have some real tangible examples. So one of them is career. And I'll bet you most of the people in the audience can relate to this on the spiritual path, because, like we talked about in our examples, work that once felt meaningful now will feel hollow. [00:24:18] Speaker B: Yep. [00:24:19] Speaker A: And you'll get success, like a promotion or something, and it just won't give you any satisfaction. [00:24:24] Speaker B: Yep. [00:24:24] Speaker A: It's like, oh, oh, okay. [00:24:27] Speaker B: I remember when I was about to leave my. My teaching thing. I. My. My. My boss was like, I'll give you a race if you stay. And I'm like, yeah, no, because it wasn't worth it anymore. It was just done once. Like, you know, you're done, you just can't go back. [00:24:47] Speaker A: Yeah. And I would imagine for some people be like, you know, making that big sale, getting the new client, all these things that should feel like success, and yet they feel kind of empty. If you're wondering why that's happening, it's because you're probably ready for that transition we talked about. Yeah. [00:25:03] Speaker B: And then the one thing that I find so many people stuck in is that fear of starting over when you're not. When you're not actually lost. That's one where they're like, gets a lot of people stuck in it. And I get it. I was there, too. Like, you always fear what's like, oh, I'm gonna have to start all over. Oh, I've grown up so much with this company. Oh, I'm getting already this benefit. [00:25:26] Speaker A: Plus, it's predictable. [00:25:27] Speaker B: Yes. [00:25:27] Speaker A: People think predictability, safety. [00:25:30] Speaker B: Yep. But it's also, like, stagnant, and you get stuck. [00:25:35] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's true. You know, a new, fresh start is always intimidating. You know, I don't care how qualified you are for a job, your first day at that new job is still going to be intimidating. So we certainly understand the fear of starting over. Okay. It also can show up in your relationships. So one example would Be you're outgrowing dynamics with. Without drama. So you're okay, you can relate to this with some of the stories I've heard from you. We just don't buy into the drama anymore. It's not enticing. It doesn't. It's not. It's not anything you want to even get involved in. [00:26:17] Speaker B: Well, what happens is that just as you start growing, people also choose to stay where they're at. And part. Sometimes that part of staying where they're at creates a lot of drama in their lives and you start seeing past that. As far as I don't really want to partake on this anymore. So you're choosing you and you're choosing a better fit for you and more peace and that automatically you start outgrowing those people that once, I guess brought things to you, you're no longer going to be connecting with them in the same way. [00:26:52] Speaker A: Yes. And then conversely, I think this is also saying that you're going to transition without you feeling drama. So number one, you don't want to be involved in drama. And number two, it's like, okay, it's just. You understand, it's a natural progression. Like I said, it almost feels dull. Like I said, staring out the window on the way to Chicago. Okay, so another thing that might make it tangible for you is when you're feeling misunderstood in a relationship and wanting to explain yourself. So that can show up as why you would be in transition. Because there's a point where you on the spiritual path, if people are not moving with you, they are definitely not going to understand you. Yeah. It's almost like you're speaking because you're living different existences vibrationally, but you're speaking different languages too. [00:27:54] Speaker B: Let me give an example that's like really put it home for me. So I had to learn how to differentiate between. I had friends that their belief was to be in life and go out every single weekend and just go out to clubs and drinking and stuff. And for me, that's not fulfilling at all. Like, I did that during my 20s. Like, I'm not going to be doing that again because it feels like it's going back, that I'm not really moving forward. But at the same time, I don't need to explain myself anymore because that's where they're at. That doesn't mean where that's where I'm at. I've grown that part and I don't want to go back to it. And me explaining myself to them would probably bring things such as oh, now you feel your cue better or. Or things like that. And I really just don't need to address those. I think that actions speak louder than words. I now strive to have peace in my life and I no longer want to have that chaos in my life. [00:28:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And when they're talking about feeling misunderstood without wanting to explain yourself, I think the important word there is wanting to. So that's implying freedom of choice. It's not like you have. So you stop feeling like you have to explain the journey to people who aren't going to get it anyway. So there's no reason. It's personal. It's me. I'm just doing it. Okay. [00:29:19] Speaker B: What's another one wanting more space? Not necessarily distance. [00:29:26] Speaker A: That's interesting since you're married, isn't it? I mean, you don't want to distance. Distance yourself from your husband, but you want more. [00:29:35] Speaker B: Well, I think part of the growth is there's gonna be things that you enjoy and there's gonna be things that that other person enjoys. And sometimes you don't necessarily enjoy the same thing. So, for example, I am. I have a lot of friends and I hang out with them. And then we plan things and we do things. And my husband's very introverted. In fact, he chooses to stay at home. His peace and wanting to be in a good spot is being at home with our pets. Like, he absolutely loves that because he can be watching tv, he can be focusing on crafts, he can be doing so many things. He just doesn't get the fulfillment from having get togethers and stuff. And the thing is, I don't like that necessarily all the time, but at the same time, sometimes I need to have that too, because I want that. It's not because I feel like I'm being forced to. It's. I want to spend time with friends and with outside people. [00:30:37] Speaker A: Yeah. And when they talk about wanting space, I'm thinking that more like emotional space, you know. And so one of the examples I can think of for you early on was when you had the copper pyramid in his apartment. And then he would meditate regularly under the copper pyramid. And so that was a way to allow more emotional space and physical space, I guess too, without being distanced. [00:31:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:06] Speaker A: And eventually your husband started to understand what the appeal was for you to do that. And he respected that. [00:31:12] Speaker B: And I still do. And even like when we moved to, like, I have it, but now I put it outside unniced days, of course, because we don't have the space to have it now inside. But on the nice days I had it up and it was great. [00:31:25] Speaker A: Yeah. So there's nothing wrong with needing more emotional, spiritual mental space as well as physical space when you're in this state. Doesn't mean you don't like the people you're with. It just means I just need this to balance. Okay. This might also show up with your spiritual identity, because practices that once energized you may now feel flat. And I think we've had examples of that in our lives, haven't we? Oh, yeah. Like, for me, I've dropped out of certain groups. Even a Reiki circle I used to go to regularly. I just kind of felt like, okay, I'm ready to kind of just work on myself right now. I don't feel the draw to be in this. That particular group anymore. And that's okay. It's just part of this process. You know, I was changing and, you know, it's just like, oh, okay. It almost feels like for me at the moment, it's too much effort. Even when you're in this state, I'm just like. I don't feel excited about what used to excite me. [00:32:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:33] Speaker A: That goes with. We've talked about this before, too. Like, when on the early part of being people's spiritual journeys, like, let's say who you've been watching on YouTube, that will change over time too. So people who used to find. Used to find very inspiring. Doesn't mean they're not inspiring to other people right now, but you've gotten everything you needed, and you're ready to move into the next step. So you'll be in that liminal space when you're going from, like, social media teachers to the next one, too. So there's a lot of examples like that. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Mm. [00:33:06] Speaker A: What's the next part of the spiritual identity that you might recognize as showing. [00:33:10] Speaker B: Up in labels that no longer fit? [00:33:14] Speaker A: There's so many labels. [00:33:15] Speaker B: Yes. [00:33:17] Speaker A: On the spiritual journey. [00:33:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Some of those labels are egocentric, and. [00:33:27] Speaker B: Some people crave those labels because they want to have those things, labels. And it's just interesting how you grow them out or you just don't want to be part of that anymore. [00:33:38] Speaker A: And that's okay if you do. I don't know. I'll probably get in trouble for saying this, but what's coming to my mind immediately, so somebody guess needs to hear it in the audience, would be like, labels like your starseed. I'm a starseed from so and so and so. And at the beginning, when people first find that sense of identity, I think they kind of pigeonhole themselves, you know, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this. And then they want to tell everybody, I'm this, this, this. And I think there becomes a point when we get to talk about liminal, where you may not have as much energy invested in letting people know what your starseed lineage is and more into. How do I integrate that with my human experience? Experience, which is very different. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Well, in some, as it can go. So egotistical, too. [00:34:29] Speaker A: Well, I wasn't trying to go there, but, yeah, that's what I've witnessed. [00:34:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:34] Speaker A: So eventually your. Your ego says, oh, I don't need to brag about this to everybody. I can accept that this is who I am. It's a part of what I feel like I'm connected to. But that's not the only thing I'm connected to on the spiritual path. [00:34:50] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:34:52] Speaker A: Okay. And another way you may notice this is you're less interested in seeking and more in living. That kind of goes with what we said just now. [00:35:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:02] Speaker A: You know, seeking labels, seeking. And at the beginning of your spiritual journey, you are constantly seeking. You are voracious for any kind of information you can get about the spiritual journey. Books, YouTube videos, classes, everything. It's just like, more, more, more, more, more. You know? And then there comes a point where I guess this is perfect. Yeah. That liminal state where you start, like I said, integrating it rather than, I gotta learn more, I gotta learn more, I gotta do more, I gotta do more. You know, you definitely went through that. [00:35:38] Speaker B: Yeah. And I learned from that. That it's like I find that whole living to it, sitting with it, instead of so much, like, being so active about it all the time. [00:35:51] Speaker A: Yeah. So if you do find yourself in that. In between feeling like, I know I've stepped out of this, I don't know where I'm going quite yet. That doesn't mean that you're ungrateful for where you are, where you've been and. [00:36:05] Speaker B: Where you're going, when everything serves as a lesson. So everything has its time. And it's like, during that time, it was important to you, and you believed in it. [00:36:15] Speaker A: Yeah. And so I like this term. You know, it just means that your inner orientation has shifted. And it does have to start at an inner level before it manifests in the physical. And that's okay. It's all part of the process. Kind of think of it like, you know, birthing a baby. You know, there's that part where you nurture the child before it's Born. And that's kind of what's going on in this in between state. Okay, so why does this middle in between state feel so awkward? And why does it feel so unsettling? Well, we just want to let you know this is something we've all been through because it's your identities dissolving before the new one arrives. [00:37:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:04] Speaker A: And that's always uncomfortable. Yeah. [00:37:06] Speaker B: Because you're left with like, who the hell am I now? [00:37:08] Speaker A: And it feels like dissolving. Yeah. You know, it's just like, I'm just like. Yeah, yeah. You don't even recognize who you used to be. And it just feels like. But it's like, yet who am I? [00:37:26] Speaker B: Yeah. I love the example of the caterpillar going into a butterfly because the caterpillar, when it's in the cocoon, people think it just grows wings and it just opens up and stuff. But what's truly happens is that the caterpillar needs to turn into complete goo, like completely disintegrate its form, shape, and pretty much give out its old form entirely to transform into a new thing, which is the butterfly. And each step is part of its strength. Meaning, like, if you were to cut the cocoon before it fully developed the strength that the wings were trying to grab from pushing outward and developing those muscles in order to be able to fly, it would just fall into the ground and die. Because it never. Without that struggle of being uncomfortable in that cocoon, because cocoon, it wouldn't really gather that strength to be able to become a new form and to be able to work the muscles to fly as a butterfly. So I love. [00:38:31] Speaker A: That certainly applies to what we just talked about. Okay. What's another reason why it might feel awkward to people? [00:38:38] Speaker B: Because we're conditioned to move quickly from A to B. [00:38:42] Speaker A: That is your story from on the spiritual path for at least the first two years. [00:38:47] Speaker B: Yeah, that was definitely my theme. [00:38:50] Speaker A: It's like, oh, my gosh, I've got to keep moving. There's a logical progression. Go, go, go, go, go. Well, the spiritual path. Spirit. The word spirit comes from the same root as spiral. Spiro means circular in Greek. This is a circular path. It is not a linear path, people. So give yourself a break. It doesn't. A to B quickly. [00:39:19] Speaker B: Yeah, don't do what I did. Learn from my mistakes. [00:39:24] Speaker A: Another reason why it might feel awkward is because being in the middle has no social script. Oh, my gosh. You know what I thought about when. When I read that? Being in the middle. Jan Brady, always feeling left out. That's Kind of how you feel when you're in this situation. It's like, I know who I was. I don't know who I'm coming. I feel left out. And there is no script. That is absolutely true. [00:39:49] Speaker B: Yep. That is so funny. But it's true, too. [00:39:53] Speaker A: That's a good. [00:39:53] Speaker B: That's actually a very good example. [00:39:57] Speaker A: I'm always in the middle. Okay. And what's another reason this might feel awkward? [00:40:04] Speaker B: Because it can feel lonely even when life looks fine. [00:40:08] Speaker A: It is lonely because it's an individual process. And it's an individual process. It's lonely because you're letting go of the old you, too. And you haven't fully stepped into. You haven't met the new you fully yet. [00:40:20] Speaker B: Yeah. And it's lonely because it's a progress that only you can go through and nobody else can do it for you. So it is a single person's, like, transition period to go through. [00:40:33] Speaker A: Yeah. And then here's why. It also feels awkward. There's no language to describe it. We're kind of riding. Reaching for analogies, and we're reaching for metaphors to help you. But this is not something that people teach you about. This is not something where there's a firm word that describes it exactly. So there is no language for what you're going through, and that's okay. It's more about the experience. And then what's another thing that might be you? Awkward. [00:41:07] Speaker B: There's a loss for motivation. [00:41:09] Speaker A: Well, that's because you feel like you're not moving. [00:41:11] Speaker B: Mm. [00:41:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Loss of certainty. For sure. For sure. Because you don't know who you are yet. Where am I? I don't know. I kind of wanted. I kind of think I'm heading this way. But am I? You know? And then there's a temporary flattening of enthusiasm. Yes. I have gone through that recently. And that's normal if you're kind of feeling kind of vanilla and meh. Yep. It's okay. It's like we talked about. Your nervous system's catching up. Your clarity is going to be coming back. You know, you're shedding the old. You've already stepped out of those roles, so it will be. You know, when you think about it. Let's use the breath analogy again. Okay. Because the inhale is active, but the breath in between is passive. And then the exhale is active. Right. So you don't. You're looking at the temporary flattening of enthusiasm, just like you would that pregnant pause between breaths. It's not exciting unless you're holding your breath for a long period of time on purpose. But when it's natural, it's almost like, oh, there it is. Yeah, now it's gone. Oh, all right. Okay. [00:42:30] Speaker B: And I love the little quote that says this one that says, the quiet isn't emptiness, it's space being made. [00:42:37] Speaker A: Oh, that is beautiful. Let's say it together again. The quiet isn't emptiness, it's space being made. Oh, that just sums it up perfectly. Okay, so what do you do when you're in that situation? What's going to help you out, by the way? I'm looking at my list of good ideas, so I just. That's that paper noise you heard. Okay, so what's one of the first things that might help letting yourself be undefined for a while. We kind of talked about that earlier. It's okay not to label yourself when you're in this state and go, well, I used to be this. I don't know what I'm becoming. So I guess labels don't even matter when you're in that state. [00:43:25] Speaker B: Not really. I mean, they're not going to really help you, so why bother? [00:43:29] Speaker A: What's another thing that might help, Amaral? [00:43:31] Speaker B: Paying attention to what drains versus nourishes. And I feel like we do this automatically when we go on this stage. Like the. The situations, the people, the. The things that drain you, you're going to stay away from because you're going to be like, I'm already feeling like I don't know where I'm going. Why would. On top of that, I want to be drained? [00:43:52] Speaker A: Well, it's also very quiet inward time, so you probably will want, you know, if you can, you know, a quiet place to be, not a lot of extra stimulation. And then let's talk about nourishing. I think sometimes when people are in this state because things feel a little flat, you might forget to nourish yourself by something as simple as eating. So you got to have your water, and you've got to have your food. And nourishing is also whatever helps us to feel a little bit more comfortable with who we are while we're going through that. And so for me, that would be artwork. Even something as simple as getting one of those adult coloring books to get you through this period, I think is a good idea. But it could be music, it could be all kinds of things that nourish you. But just don't forget to nourish yourself, because you'll kind of be, like we said, in the doldrums. Yeah. [00:44:50] Speaker B: What's another one. What's the next one? [00:44:53] Speaker A: Staying embodied rather than future focused. Yes. That is the best advice for this situation because you tend to try to figure out where you're heading. Yep. [00:45:05] Speaker B: In the future. Focus. A lot of the times will bring anxiety, so you don't want to do that. You want to stay in body. You want to stay in your body. You want to feel your body. You want to just be grounded. [00:45:16] Speaker A: Yes. And part of being in your body is to recognize because you're in transition. If your body's tired, it wants rest. If your body's hungry, it wants food. So you really pay attention. And what you're doing is you're grounding this energetic shift into your system. So if it needs a little tlc, there's a reason why. Yep. Okay. What's another one? [00:45:46] Speaker B: Keeping commitments small and reversible. [00:45:49] Speaker A: Yeah, that goes back to really wanting that quiet when you're in this period. So probably wouldn't be the best time to schedule dental appointments and, you know, trips. Trips abroad and things like that. [00:46:03] Speaker B: Trips to Walmart. [00:46:04] Speaker A: Oh, dear. That's never good time, in my opinion. Okay. I haven't been in one for. I think it's been 20 years. I only went to. I went to a Walmart once. My mom sent me there to pick up some type of arts and crafts supply that only they sell because they sell weird things, apparently. And she was a weaver, so I had to go buy her weaving supplies. And I had never been. I wasn't prepared for it. The minute I walked in, it was like, I have to leave now. So as empaths, especially unexpecting empaths, should never walk into Walmart. And it was so awful. By the time I left, I walked into my mom's house. I. I held her special weaving yarn in front of her, and those are my words to her, I am never going back there again. So anyway, that was a sidebar, and I never have. Okay. So. Yes, I wouldn't advise that either. Okay. So I've lost track of where we are. [00:47:06] Speaker B: Talking to people who don't rush you. [00:47:10] Speaker A: Yeah, that would help people, especially people who've been through this state themselves, you know, because it's not always a spiritual shift, you know, like we talked about. Sometimes it's a relational shift, you know, maybe leaving a partner and steadying and then moving on. So, yeah, talk to the people who understand the process. That's great advice. Okay. What are some things that don't usually help you when you're in this state? Oh, God. It's Reinventing yourself overnight. No, no, no. That's being reactive and not allowing. [00:47:44] Speaker B: Well, that would be so draining on your energy too. Oh, man. [00:47:48] Speaker A: There's a big push to want to move into the next thing now, but this is not the time for it. Okay. And that goes with what the next one is very well, doesn't it? Yeah. [00:48:02] Speaker B: Forcing a new label. [00:48:04] Speaker A: Yeah, it's not the time to label yourself either. It's just your time to realize I'm the in between. And it's okay. It's okay to be in the in between. Okay. Another thing that probably isn't going to help you is overanalyzing meaning. You know, I think we tend to do that on the spiritual path, like if we're in a transition. Oh, there must be a bigger meaning to this. I'm going to look for all the signs, you know, and you start searching for the synchronicities and, you know, starting to go, oh, archangels, tell me what the meaning is of this. And then, you know, you hear a voice and it might be your ego talking, and you're. Oh, yes, it's a sign. This is not a time to kind of push anything. So. Yeah, so don't try to overanalyze the meaning of being in the in between. It's just the in between. [00:48:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:55] Speaker A: Okay. [00:48:56] Speaker B: What's another one comparing timelines? [00:49:00] Speaker A: Well, that goes back to I should be this by now, doesn't it? [00:49:04] Speaker B: Mm. [00:49:05] Speaker A: Or I haven't moved fast enough or why am I not this yet? [00:49:09] Speaker B: Yep. [00:49:10] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. Or even comparisons in general. [00:49:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:15] Speaker A: You know, because you may. Let's go back to the energy healing example. You might start thinking, oh, well, I haven't quite fully decided what kind of energy healing healer I am, but I'm comparing myself to all these others now and probably thinking you fall short, too. Okay, so the main takeaway here is you want to emphasize pacing over answers. This is not the answer. Searching, finding answer, time. This is the allowing the systems to move forward time. Anything you want to add to that? [00:49:51] Speaker B: Just tune in and listen to your body and its needs. It's like that inward movement for you to actually see what your. What your body truly needs and what you want. Like, for example, there should be a lot of resting. There should be a lot of hydration. There should be journaling. They should be like time that you want to spend by yourself out in nature. There should be a lot of reflection, a lot of inward rather than so much action and going outward with it. [00:50:24] Speaker A: Yeah. So one of the things we want to assure you is if you find yourself feeling in this void, in this in between, in this nebulous situation, you are not broken, you are not late, and you are not wasting your time. It's all part of the process. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:48] Speaker A: And this. This phase is doing important work underneath the surface. Underneath the surface. That's the key part of that. And your identity is just catching up to what your new truth is. Okay, so Amaral and I love to give you little tips to help you get through these things. And so we've got some mantras, and we've got about seven minutes. And so we. We can go through all of these mantras, I think. What is the first one to help people when they are in the in between? [00:51:22] Speaker B: So the first one's nothing is wrong. Something is reorganizing. Oh, I like that one. [00:51:28] Speaker A: Do you want to elaborate on that? [00:51:30] Speaker B: Yeah. So nothing is wrong with you. Your life as you know it. It's reorganizing to become something. Something better for you. Align better with your new self. [00:51:41] Speaker A: Yes. Nothing's wrong. Something's reorganized. That sums up perfectly. Another mantra we can offer you is, I don't need to know who I'm becoming yet. That will definitely calm your body down, don't you think? Okay. And do you want to elaborate on that at all? [00:52:01] Speaker B: Sometimes this is all about building trust. Building trust in, like, the universe, always working in your favor. So you don't need to know who you're going to become because you need to allow the trust to take you there. [00:52:16] Speaker A: And if you're trying to forecast who you're becoming, you're actually limiting yourself to who you might be becoming. [00:52:21] Speaker B: That's true, because you're putting parameters on it a lot of the times wants to really fully, like, give you what you need. But yet if you're limited to one idea, you're falling short for what you truly deserve. [00:52:34] Speaker A: Okay. And another mantra is this pause is part of the movement. I think we've been trying to emphasize that the whole episode, haven't we? [00:52:46] Speaker B: I think that's exactly what it is. It's like people see pausing as not moving forward when it truly is. It's a step of moving forward. [00:52:55] Speaker A: Yeah. And using the analogy of the stairs and the landing, you're just on the landing. It's okay. You have to orient yourself to the landing before you move. [00:53:06] Speaker B: The next one is, I can let the old shape dissolve without rushing the new one. [00:53:13] Speaker A: It's interesting that the word shape is there because that's a form that's tangible, right? [00:53:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:18] Speaker A: And the in between is not tangible, nebulous. So. Yes. So let the old shape, which is the old you, dissolve. And don't worry about rushing into figuring what the new form is. [00:53:29] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:53:31] Speaker A: Okay. Yet another one we can recommend would be Clarity Return. Looks like clarity will return when timing allows. [00:53:41] Speaker B: Yep. [00:53:42] Speaker A: Now, we've been talking about that throughout the entire episode, too. Like, this is a gestation period. You don't rush a birth. So this is when we're talking about with timing. Yeah. [00:53:53] Speaker B: The next one is I'm allowed to be undefined for a while. [00:53:58] Speaker A: I like that it gives you permission. That feels good just to hear it. Yes. You can allow yourself to be undefined because that's exactly what's going on on the in between. Okay. And now we've got another one which is what no longer fits. Doesn't need to be forced to stay. That goes what we talked about at the beginning of the episode, when you're letting go of the old self and allowing it to fall away. [00:54:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:33] Speaker A: Okay. And another one is I can trust what is forming quietly. [00:54:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:40] Speaker A: No rush. It's calm, it's gentle, it's allowing. [00:54:47] Speaker B: The next one is, this space is not empty. It is making room, which we mentioned before, but I love that, because there's no such thing as an empty space. It's just making room for greater things to come in. [00:55:02] Speaker A: Yes. Even if you can't figure out what they are at the moment, greater things are coming. And then one last mantra we would suggest is, I stay present while the next version of me takes shape. Now, that's also very calming for the body and your nervous system. I'm going to repeat that. I stay present while the next version of me takes shape. So I think that's a very, very powerful statement when you're in that situation. [00:55:34] Speaker B: And that's like. I like how it points out that even if you're going through that transition period of just. You don't know where you're going, the key is to be present. Because when you're present, you're just in your body, in yourself. You're tuning into what you need, what your immediate needs are. But it's just part of that being present. If you're in the past, they say your past gives you regrets, regrets. And then the future gives you anxiety. So the best place to be is at the present, because only from the present can you even create things for the future or set intentions, plant your seeds for the future. [00:56:17] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think the more you go through these cycles and you understand the calmness and the quiet and you're staying present, the easier it is for the next cycle too, you know. So the reason we started this podcast was to let people know what we wished we knew earlier on the spiritual path. [00:56:40] Speaker B: Yep. [00:56:41] Speaker A: And I think this is one of them, because I don't think most people tell you about this. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:56:47] Speaker A: You know, it's kind of like, you know, do your shadow work and you will blossom, but you forget you do the shadow work. There's shifts. There's mental, emotional, physical, even shifts. And so that in between is vital for your mental health, your physical health, your emotional health. So I wish more people did talk about it. Yeah, I guess we're kind of set in the path here. [00:57:18] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:57:19] Speaker A: Yeah. All right. Well, wherever you are on your spiritual journey, some of you are shifting out of old roles. Some of you fully stepped into new roles, and some of you are in the in between. They're all fine. They're all good. It's where you're supposed to be right now, and we just wanted to assure you of that. So we want to thank you for listening. [00:57:42] Speaker B: Yes, thank you. Thank you. [00:57:43] Speaker A: And we always want to give a shout out to mixed by Bruce because people pointed out that our sound quality could be improved, and Bruce came to our rescue. So we always want to give a thumbs up to him and endorse him for any kind of sound engineering work. If you sing or you're a musician or you have a podcast, he can definitely help you. And we. We love him as a human being. [00:58:09] Speaker B: Thank you for tuning in.