Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey, hosted by two fellow travelers who found a soul connection on the path to higher consciousness.
Our goal is to help you navigate the choppy waters you're likely to encounter in this spiritual path by sharing our experiences with you each week.
Join us as we spill the tea on what it's like to wake up to your authentic self.
Hello, everyone. I am Ameril, and I am here with.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: I am Lola Singer in today's episode.
[00:00:37] Speaker A: The title of our episode is Spiritual bypassing. What it is, why we do it, and how to catch ourselves.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: I don't know how long the term spiritual bypassing was around before somebody accused me of it, but I didn't know what they were talking about.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: So we're gonna clear it out today.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Because down the road, you might get accused of it too.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: And people wave it like a, whoa. You know, I'm so important because I caught you. Spiritual bypassing. But you know what? It's something that a lot of us naturally do and we don't even realize it. So there's no foul.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: There's not. So this episode's more about catching ourselves rather than pointing the finger. I guess it's the best way to. Really?
[00:01:25] Speaker B: Yeah. Because the person who accused me of being spiritual bypassing was very sanctim about it. And, you know, I would prefer that you not fall into that pattern, but.
[00:01:36] Speaker A: Was it one of those, I'm so much more higher in mightier than you.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: And I'm sitting there going, I don't even know what you're talking about.
I've never heard that term before.
Well, there's.
[00:01:48] Speaker A: There is definitely ego in every place and everything, even with. With spiritual people. And that's like something we all work on.
[00:01:55] Speaker B: But as we go through this episode, you're going to find out that it's a natural tendency to go in and out of the shadows of spiritual bypassing.
[00:02:03] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:02:04] Speaker B: Yeah. So do you want to start by telling us a little bit about what it means?
[00:02:09] Speaker A: Yes. So spiritual bypassing is using spiritual beliefs or practices to avoid dealing with unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, or difficult life realities.
Coined by psychotherapist John Wilwood, it's a defense mechanism where people use concepts like, everything happens for a reason.
Just have faith or excessive positivity to bypass pain, trauma, or personal responsibility, preventing deeper healing and a true spiritual growth.
[00:02:49] Speaker B: And we're going to go into some of this in greater detail at first, but we just want to make it right out. Since I didn't know what it was, we're just going to tell you what it is right off the bat. So how does it manifest?
It manifests by ignoring negative feelings like dismissing anger, grief or sadness as low vibration instead of processing them.
It can manifest through premature forgiveness, forgiving too quickly without addressing the underlying hurt or injustice.
It can manifest through spiritual platitudes. I think this is the main one. Honestly using cliches like it's all a lesson or just be positive to shut down difficult conversations.
It can also manifest by avoiding accountability, blaming external forces like God's will instead of taking responsibility for actions and choices.
And it can also manifest through emotional numbing, using meditation or prayer as an escape from present moment feelings rather than as a tool for being present.
You want to pick up from there.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: It can also manifest as emotional numbing, using meditation or prayer as an escape from present moment feeling rather than a tool for presence.
Why?
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Why I said that?
[00:04:14] Speaker A: Oh, is that what you said?
[00:04:15] Speaker B: I'm sorry, yes. What you can pick up from the next.
I wasn't allowing you to spiritual. I wasn't spiritually bypassing it. I was very direct and authentic.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: Why? Is it harmful?
[00:04:27] Speaker B: There you go.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: It prevents true emotional integration and healing, leaving deeper wounds unaddressed.
It can shame people for having normal human emotions, making them feel spiritually inadequate.
It can damage relationships by avoiding necessary com conflict resolution and emotional connection.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: Okay, so what's the difference between spiritual bypassing and genuine spirituality?
Genuine spirituality involves facing pain and discomfort with compassion, integrating all parts of oneself and doing the hard work of healing.
Spiritual bypassing puts a glossy positive filter over a cracked foundation, delaying necessary emotional processing and true self awareness.
So as you heard those, as we went through that list to familiarize you with the concept, I could see where I've fallen into those from time to time.
Especially at the beginning of your spiritual journey.
Even now.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: So let's go back to how that person was being so sanctimonious with me, waving it like a weapon, that term, and I didn't even know what it meant.
I don't understand the pop. I don't even understand the reasoning. If, you know, we all fall into these patterns from time to time, and I think it's very natural for us not to want to face difficulty.
[00:06:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I can definitely come clear and say that a lot of my starting point in spirituality because I learned techniques such as breath work. Right. Well, with breath work you do get to feel some feelings, but not feeling fully deep into it. So what I did is I went on this like the person that I first learned it from said, oh, if you do it for a month straight, you'll change your life. You know, the typical slogan thing. So I'm like, I'm gonna give it a try. So that was a way of spiritual bypassing for me because I thought that a tool could just be used like.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: It was gonna be a magic wand.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: And it wasn't gonna be worrying about anything. And yes, there was some emotion that came out, but not to the deepness of it. And I learned later there was just layers taking off some layers from it. Because regardless of it's such a powerful technique. It will help you with release some things. But if you're not willing to go to the deepness of let's feel the emotion, let's integrate, is it really helping or is it really just pushing you forward? And I got to day 23 and then I was done because my body was like, pretty much like, I am very unhappy with you right now because I am put in this situation where there was so much integration that needed to be done. And I literally felt like I drove myself to feel sick and so my body shut down. That's what happened.
That was a story I've never even told before. Actually.
[00:07:36] Speaker B: It's because the breath work wasn't actually leading you to the core wounding you were trying to recover and heal from.
But breath work can do that.
[00:07:46] Speaker A: Yep. So what I. What it is is the progression of not allowing my body to rest, the progression of not allowing my body to integrate and also not being able to really go into a certain specific thing of this is what I'm working with, or this is coming up for me, or just sitting with emotions themselves.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: So do you think you were. By spiritual bypassing because you weren't willing to look at those emotions at that point, you just thought, I'll do the.
The deep breathing will take me. Instead of going abc, I'm going to go from A to K. Exactly.
[00:08:22] Speaker A: So what I thought I was looking at it as a finish line.
Like, if I do this month, I'm.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: Going to be so great.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: I'm going to be so advanced in my spiritual growth.
[00:08:33] Speaker B: I think that a lot of people feel that way, though.
They treat spirituality as an intensive course, you know, like an obstacle course, you know, I'm going to make this happen.
Okay, well, since we, we know that spiritual bypassing can help happen in so many ways, one of the things that you just need to keep in mind that the basic term is that we use spirituality to avoid something instead of dealing with It. That is spiritual bypassing in a nutshell.
And we see that all the time with something that Amaral and I facetiously call the love and light crowd.
And we're saying it with. We are saying with love. We are.
Because I think I fell into that pattern early at the beginning. You know, everything's supposed to be love and light. Everything's love and light. Everything's love and light. And then it isn't. You know, we're humans dealing with, you know, jobs and family, and it isn't always all love and life and the. And the lesson is, how do we deal with. With stay spiritually focused and balance what's going on in our lives?
[00:09:48] Speaker A: And also, I come to terms with a love and light thing because I realized, at least I can only speak for myself. But when I started, I started focusing on the higher chakras because you're thinking, like, I want to manifest, so I need to clear my third eye. I need to, like, have my crown chakra be. So the more focus we just put on those higher chakras, the earth chakras are not being tended for. And we know those earth chakras hold all those emotions, all those traumas. So because of that, yeah, I get, to a certain degree, I get the love and light people, because when you start out, you're like, oh, this is so wonderful. I'm connecting to those higher realms.
[00:10:26] Speaker B: It feels all tingly, tingly, light, fluffy.
[00:10:30] Speaker A: And yes, you kind of feel like it's all love and light until you hit those lower chakras and you start fully those earth, like, connecting to earth. That's when you start feeling those.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: That's where you're dealing with fears and survival instinct. And so, yes, you do need to. You need to learn how to manage that and release the fears so that you can really be the most spiritual person you can be.
So, yeah, so here's my feeling about that term. I could never say it because, you know, we talked in another episode about, you know, how one of the great things on the spiritual path is becoming authentic. And even early on, that didn't feel authentic to me. It was just like, I. And everybody at that time, because this was like, you know, 15 years ago, was like, love and light. Is that how they would sign their letters? You know, like at bottom of an email? Love and light. They'd say it to each other, and it was just like, I just can't.
I just can't. Because I think maybe it's because.
I don't know. I.
Maybe. Maybe that's One of the good things about being a Gemini, because you can see. You can see the light, and you can see the dark simultaneously, you know, and it was just like, no, I just can't. I can't just go around and be love and light all the time. I can't. I can't wrap my head around it. So I can't say it.
[00:11:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
So that would be the first sign that I would watch for with someone who's potentially spiritually bypassing, thinking that they have to say and be in love and light all the time.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
Another way to bypass is to use your intuition to avoid responsibility.
That. Actually, I hadn't really thought about that, but that's kind of sneaky, isn't it?
[00:12:20] Speaker A: It is kind of sneaky. I haven't even thought about that either, but I'm like, oh, you can do.
But I was like, well, I mean, you know, because of spiritual bypassing. But I'm just like, that's kind of a sneaky way, because I guess you.
[00:12:33] Speaker B: Could say something like, oh, I know this needs to be done. I don't want to do it, but. But I have the feeling that if I. If I present this idea to, you know, Iris, that Iris would go, yeah, I can do that. I mean, it's like, what are you filling out the room and, you know. Yeah. And manipulating people in situations?
So that's not a good way to use your intuition.
It's not healthy. No.
[00:13:00] Speaker A: Well, not only that, but when you're using your intuition at that, like, kind of lower frequency, careful what you're going to connect with. Because. Because it's not going to be something that is meant to help you. I can assure you of that.
[00:13:14] Speaker B: I guess the biggest responsibility you're avoiding is looking at yourself. Yeah. So if you're using your intuition to avoid looking at yourself and becoming a mirror for yourself and your. Your behaviors, that's definitely. I can see where that would be bypassing. Yeah.
[00:13:30] Speaker A: And I think that as humans, we all go through an evolution where, like, even people that are spiritual, like, how many times have we heard of, like, oh, this person's, like, really spiritual and stuff, and they're doing this and they're doing that, and you're like, oh, great, they're doing, like, amazing. And then it goes from a part of they're doing amazing and stuff to a place where they let their ego get the best of them, and then even though they're not at first, they may not catch on, and then later on, they catch it on. And I Feel like it's just kind of that normal human evolution. Because I don't see it as necessarily a negative thing, but I do see how it gets on the way of their growth. And as long as they're able to catch it on and be able to go back and just be able to focus more on getting the ego out of the way.
Because I've seen that happen to some people.
And like we have said in many other episodes, sometimes we connect with some people in the very beginning. But we have to understand that everybody is human and that just as humans as we are, we sometimes, like, part of our growth is our ego becomes more deceiving and more deceiving. So before we know it, we sometimes. We start feeding into the ego, and sometimes someone has to point it out to us or we find out ourselves. Like, whoa, wait a second.
Now that's really egotistical. So it's just one of those funny things that I've been able to catch up to.
[00:15:09] Speaker B: We always have to be in check with our ego. Yeah. It's just a slippery little eel, isn't it?
Okay, well, spiritual bypassing, kind of going with the love and light. Is that.
It's that also using positivity as armor?
So that's. That's an interesting term, isn't it? Positivity is armor.
Yep.
Would that be something like saying, I'm more enlightened than you? Yes.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: Yes. I had a really interesting one because I was talking to someone that I knew, right. And this person, they've been out on spirituality for a while. And the biggest thing that I always encounter is that I think it's great. I think that it doesn't really matter as long as you're working on yourself. More power to you.
But I think it's weird when people have to point out on this conversation.
All I was doing is I was sharing a story, and this person came about like, well, because I've been on this for way longer than you, I completely have already passed that. But it was the tone and the frequency was like, I'm so much holier and mightier than you. And I was like, okay, that was kind of weird. And I wasn't even bringing it up for that, but. Okay.
Just the things that happen sometimes. People let their egos get the best of them.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: I guess that's a lot of what this spiritual bypassing.
[00:16:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:36] Speaker B: Just kind of boils down to.
[00:16:37] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Is that the ego talking?
So positivity is an armor.
It will. I mean, positivity would be like. Bypassing would be like it will always get better.
How is that an armor though?
Oh, a shield. You're not letting people in. Yes, that's what it means. Oh, I see. I'm so lovey and lighty and jingly and happy that nothing ever possibly could go bad for me. So we're not going to talk about that it even being a possibility because I'm not allowing that to enter my system. That kind of thinking.
[00:17:15] Speaker A: Yes. Or I've grown so much I don't need to ground anymore. Or I've grown so much I don't need to clear myself anymore.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: Well, that's, I think that's the purveying sentiment with, with, with the whole topic. Yes. People thinking that.
Okay, so another telltale clue is letting it go before we ever held it. Which means to me, like not doing your shadow work.
[00:17:40] Speaker A: Yes.
It's interesting to me.
I had one time a person come up and I posted something about working on yourself. And they posted and I saw their point, but it was like I had to.
Social media is so interesting nowadays because the meme, all it was talking about is like, continue to work on yourself because the more you work on yourself, the more you like heal yourself and the better you're, the better place you'll be at.
And somebody commented, we are already perfect. We don't need to see ourselves with a different light.
And I was like, I, I was, I got tempted. So I replied and I said, well, yeah, but we, it's a matter of remembering. But at the same time, if we don't clear out what's on the way, we're never going to get to that part of really being able to bring that light into more light into us. Because really that's what we're doing. We're clearing. We're discovering parts of us that have not been seen with the right light so that we can heal them.
But I just, yeah, there's just a lot of interesting things that happen online.
[00:18:52] Speaker B: Well, I'm in terming this, letting it go before we ever held it. Like kind of with the ego thing of saying like, you know, I faced all my darkness, I'm done.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:04] Speaker B: You know, oh yeah, now I can be a full blown shaman.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Oh, it's like, no, we're always unraveling layers.
So it's never completely done. It's always, it's always you, you clear a little bit of something. It cycles back for a little more clearing and it cycles back. So just to say, like I tipped my, I dipped my toe into the subconscious waters faced One fear, and now I'm done.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: I kind of have something very interesting to say about that.
[00:19:36] Speaker B: So that sounds like spiritual bypassing to me.
The only reason why I have to.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: Say it is because I think it's a matter of how you look at things. So, for example, when you start out, there is a lot of clearing. There's a lot of pain and stuff that comes up. And I think that as we evolve, we're no longer looking at it as this hard thing we have to do or this painful thing, because we're seeing it as, what is it that you're trying to show me? What is it that I supposed to learn from this? And when that concept changes, you're no longer seeing it for what you used to see it as. And it's not necessarily that you learn it all. It's just that you're experiencing in another level. And I give. I give people credit for that because people do get to that. But do we ever.
We're here to evolve, so it's a constant evolution. So there's no way it can be done.
[00:20:30] Speaker B: Yes, that's a very good point. And there are people who both say, I've done it all.
Somebody ever tells you they're enlightened, they're not enlightened.
[00:20:42] Speaker A: And the human body can only carry enlightenment for so little. Like, it's not because we live in human body.
So enlightenment is.
I mean, I guess we're away from society and not dealing with any sort of emotions. And even then, you can only hold it for a little, little bit of those feelings of enlightenment, which, they're great, but it's just not humanly possible to become that unless you go from a physical body to an etheric body, which.
Yeah, that's not the goal. The goal is to exactly.
[00:21:17] Speaker B: Material, bring spirit to the material.
Another thing I was thinking of when we were looking at this is, oh, it just went right out of my brain. I had a good thought and it just dissipated.
All right, if it comes back, we'll. We'll. We'll touch on it again.
Because you were talking about.
What were you just talking about? My brain just went on tilt.
Is that spiritual bypassing?
[00:21:49] Speaker A: Well, I was talking about just seeing lessons from a different way so that you're no longer thinking of the pain and suffering that you're gonna go through because your body is set to see things differently.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: I remember what I was thinking of with this. It's also about enlightenment. The longer you go on the spiritual journey, and this is. I've everyone I know who's been on it for a while.
Agrees with this statement.
The more I learn, the less I know.
[00:22:19] Speaker A: Yes.
Yep.
[00:22:22] Speaker B: That was worth remembering.
[00:22:24] Speaker A: I like the term. I'm a constant student of life because you just learn in a different level, but it's still learning.
It's weird, too, because if I went back to the very, very beginning, I remember my ego getting a lot on the way. Like me, me realizing, like, oh, I'm like, once I get to this point, I'm not gonna have to worry about this, so I better hurry up and get to this point. Point. Like if it was a race or something, but it was never against, like a race with anyone. It was a race with myself thinking that there was some sort of finish line that we needed to get to, which that does not happen.
[00:23:04] Speaker B: It's all about self awareness. And as you go further along in the journey, you become aware of the ego and some of the things that we're talking about here.
So here's a. Here's this next one is probably one of the biggest, I would say, categories for spiritual bypassing, and that is hiding behind destiny signs or karma to dodge choices.
Yes. We're always accountable to ourselves for our choices. There's no way out of it. But when you start saying things like, well, let's. Let's pick a zodiac sign. How about Aries? Because Aries is the impetuous one. Right. I'm going to do it before I, you know, stop, stop and think about. I'm just. That's. That's what they're known for.
I'm just going to act and I. I don't have time to analyze this. Well, then you can start bypassing by saying, well, I'm always right because I'm action oriented. And, you know, we got to get this done. So, you know, it's like, don't blame me if it didn't work because someone had to move on this, you know, falling back on certain traits, signs.
Oh, karma. Oh, my gosh.
You know something? This is the biggest spiritual bypass, I think when. So when someone's on the spiritual path and a friend or family member encounters some kind of hardship, what are they going to say to them?
Oh, you must have some bad karma.
Come on, you've heard that.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: Well, I heard that, but it's not very considerate.
[00:24:39] Speaker B: No, it isn't.
It's like you got some bad karma to work out. What did you do in another life?
Yeah, yeah. And nobody wants to hear that when they're dealing with grief or hardship. Right?
[00:24:52] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:24:54] Speaker B: And then Also, we're talking about signs. Signs. You know, like, I'm almost wondering if that means, like, synchronicities take. Taking them as a clue that. That, you know, like. Like we talked about the spiritual bypassing of thinking. Thinking you've done it all, and then, oh, I must have done it all, because I saw 444 three times today.
You know, you're giving. You're giving your power to something external to try to verify your own spiritual bypassing.
[00:25:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:26] Speaker B: Not to say that those things can't be useful at times, you know, give you insight. But I think what the warning is here about spiritual bypassing is assigning that, you know, my zodiac sign, these four. Four fours, Karma is all showing me what I don't need to do.
[00:25:47] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:25:49] Speaker B: And saying it's okay and I don't have to go deeper now. That's. I think that's the. When it's the spiritual bypassing, do you think? Am I.
Am I getting that right?
[00:25:57] Speaker A: I think so, yeah.
I think that there's so many things because, I mean, it can be zodiac, it can be a sign thing, but definitely, like, not taking accountability for. For yourself in your actions is definitely worth.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: I do that all the time myself. With the Gemini. We did it. I said it earlier in the episode. You know, it's like, oh, I'm a Gemini, so, yeah, you know, we're kind of naughty or something like that. That's bypassing. Right? Or for you being a Scorpio, it's like, I'm a Scorpio, so, yeah, I'm entitled to. To be angry and not talk to you. You know, things like that. You know, drawing upon these traits as if they're such a given that, you know, it's like there's no flexibility.
[00:26:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:26:47] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. So another one would be treating every difficulty as a lesson instead of acknowledging the real pain. And we've been kind of skirting around that through the whole episode.
But, you know, when you. When you talk about, like, a Buddhist philosophy, they don't deny that pain exists. They don't deny that grief exists. They don't deny that there's cruelty in the world, and the bypassing is trying to pretend there isn't.
[00:27:14] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: What you can do, though, is you can check, and a Buddhist would agree, is you can change how you're reacting to these things, not denying them.
So I think that's one of the biggest spiritual bypassing holes to fall into.
Okay. This is difficult. It's a lesson especially. I mean, that could be toward yourself. You could be thinking like, oh, my gosh, you know, This is a lesson. But I don't want to acknowledge the. The actual meaning of the lesson. Yeah. You know, which is that, yes, these things exist.
What do you think?
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Yes, I think that a lot of the times when we feel rushed or we feel like our spiritual growth is about, like, rushing things or getting to a certain point is when we. A lot of us, and I can definitely say for myself is we don't sit with the pain, because the pain is the one that shows you where is it at that you. You're hurting, why is it triggering you? And it's just sitting in with that pain. It's. It's uncomfortable. But at the same time, it also will lead to really showing you where your healing needs to go or needs to be focused at.
[00:28:34] Speaker B: I think grief's a really good example of this, don't you? Because if you're. Let's. Let's go back to the love and light thing. You know, if you're. If you're dealing with actual grief and then you're also saying, oh, no, but I have to be love and light all the time, that's going to create a conflict right there.
So that sounds like, you know, when it doesn't get resolved, when you're kind of looking at it like, well, if I'm. If I'm enlightened in all love and light, then I can't. I can't be feeling this.
But you need to. And we know there's cycles to grief, and you need to go through all of them at least once.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: So that. That. That's definitely bypassing.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: All right, so our next part is why we all do it.
[00:29:19] Speaker B: Well, we're human.
[00:29:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:21] Speaker B: That's. That's the number one answer. And you kind of touched upon it. We don't want to feel the deep, dark feelings, even though we need to in order to process them and heal them.
So it feels safer to bypass than to feel the discomfort. Mm.
It's protective.
[00:29:41] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:29:41] Speaker B: It's not trying to harm us.
We think we're doing the right thing when we buy, when we're bypassing.
[00:29:48] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: So.
It's so ironic, isn't it, that the deeper you go, the more you heal and the more. Because you're shining, you actually are shining the light on the dark and balancing it instead of. Instead of just saying, I'm staying in the light.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:07] Speaker B: And it actually is a lot more advanced on the spiritual path to do that.
But I do think it's just a human tendency yeah, me too. To. I'd rather not face discomfort. I'd rather not face things that are going to make me look at times and places that hurt in the past, which is exactly where the healing comes from. So it's so ironic.
[00:30:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: Okay. And then another reason that we all do it is that a lot of spiritual communities normalize it, huh?
Yeah. I mean, I think you can see it even in organized religion.
[00:30:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:55] Speaker B: You know, just pray it away, have faith, just believe, and that's trust. And it translates to the spirit spiritual community too, as well. You know, kind of just. Yeah. Just trust and, you know. You know what I'm thinking of right now? The. The lotus, you know, it's rooted in the mud, the muck.
[00:31:16] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: And so we're. This is what we're talking about. The, the, the. The stuff, the darkness. Right. And then it goes through the waters of emotion and subconscious. And then it blossoms up at, you know, up in the sunlight. So. But it doesn't blossom without the mud.
[00:31:34] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:31:35] Speaker B: It has to have the mud.
[00:31:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:38] Speaker B: So.
It's not fun to walk through the mud.
[00:31:47] Speaker A: No, it is not.
[00:31:50] Speaker B: So I can see why they do that.
[00:31:52] Speaker A: Then the next one is we mistake high vibration for emotional shutdown.
[00:32:01] Speaker B: High vibration and emotional shut. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so.
Because I think they.
Sometimes I'm kind of thinking like a monk meditating. Right. Which is like the common symbol we see in the spiritual community. Right.
I think people think that if I'm doing it the right way, I'm going to be this calm, peaceful monk all the time.
[00:32:31] Speaker A: Or just because you're high vibration that you're not going to face, or you're not going to be bothered by any kind of emotions while you're being high vibration.
And the truth is they play hand in hand. If there's one thing that you should really learn and understand is the higher your vibration goes, the more light you're bringing in, so the more really deep things are going to surface up because it's creating a balance within yourself.
[00:33:00] Speaker B: I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you said it. Because where there's great light, there's great darkness and vice versa. Yeah. And so I guess the bypassing is thinking, you know, if I'm high vibe, then I've reduced the darkness.
[00:33:14] Speaker A: Yes.
Do you know what's so crazy that I've been doing the last two days?
I purposely been working with this concept. Funny enough. What I've been doing is in the morning, I meditate, I do a gratitude, and then I do like breath, a little bit of breath work to really get me in. And I feel so good because I know I raised my vibration so high. But I'm also looking into what will come up out of this because anything that is very hidden, that is not aligned with that vibration is going to surface up. So I'm actually being a true observer and sitting down with me of what emotions would this come up? And it brought out two things that were really deep for me and I was able to clear them, but not without understanding that balance of. By bringing a lot of light in, it's going to shine into that darkness and it's going to surface things up. It's like a boiling pot in another ways. Kind of like think of the light as like the water coming in and the boiling starts surfacing up. Once the boiling starts surfacing up, it's going to bring up anything that. That it has not been balanced.
So I guess in a way I've been using it to my advantage.
[00:34:22] Speaker B: Well, I'm glad you brought that up, you know, and that will help people to avoid spiritual bypassing, you know, by understanding that it's always as you grow on the path and you raise your vibration, it will be an equal darkness for you to be working with. That doesn't mean you have to be afraid of it. Doesn't mean it's going to be overpowering. You just have to have to recognize. Recognize it's there. That's just that simple.
[00:34:45] Speaker A: And I have something too, that, like, just came up. That spirit wants me to talk about that. It's really interesting.
So which we. I have mentioned another. In another episode, I did an ayahuasca retreat, right? So when I did that ayahuasca retreat, I felt very fulfilled. I felt like I really hit those points that I needed to hit. I went deeper to where I needed to be.
The funny thing about it, that it wasn't a spiritual bypassing, it was just an awareness that I realized is that the very last day I had like a death and rebirth cycle, right?
And so if I would let the ego get the best of me, it's like, oh, it's done. But the funny thing is that it was death and rebirth cycle of that version of me because there was a new version that was going to surface up. They wanted. That was going to see life in a different way.
In most places, when you go and you do ayahuasca, they tell you you're going to take to two, up to two weeks to integrate. Yeah. Try two and a half months to integrate all that because it was so huge for me. But at the same time, I realized there was an old version of me that went down with that, but there was a newer version of understanding things in a higher concept.
So even if you feel so like, oh, I've done like the death and rebirth of myself, that's one version of you that gone through the death and rebirth. You still move up and you still have to evolve further because there's no stopping of your evolution.
So that was very interesting for me to realize. And at first I was like, oh, I kind of get like a break. I did think of that. I get this break until things started surfacing up and it was uncomfortable. But at the same time, it was like, okay, that version is done. Now we're growing into this new version and we're understanding the world as we once knew it in a different way. And that was tough. And that's why it took me two and a half months to integrate instead of just two weeks.
Because it wasn't as simple as it was played out for good reason. Yeah, okay.
[00:36:55] Speaker B: So when I was thinking about this concept of, you know, we mistake high vibration for emotionally shutting down, I was just kind of curious. So I. I went and looked on the Internet for some of the most common phrases people use that are considered spiritual bypassing.
And what would apply here would be some toxic positivity.
So a phrase like, okay, so we mistake higher vibration for emotionally shutting down. It'd be like, good vibes only.
Right. Just be positive. Yeah. You create your own reality.
[00:37:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:30] Speaker B: So those are the kind of things that are examples of. And then avoiding action might fall into that being emotionally shut down.
So that would be, you know, let's just pray about it and trust God to handle it.
Here's one that you just talked about. I don't have an ego.
And then also I'm. Go ahead and read all of these because this. I think that's helpful. So also avoiding. Sorry, Dismissing pain.
Everything happens for a reason. It was for the best. This too shall pass. Oh, here's a good one. It's a blessing in disguise.
They're in a better place when grieving.
Another one would be minimizing issues. It's like, I don't see color. We're all one.
Someone who's feeling prejudiced would argue with you. Right. Mm. Just raise your vibration again. And then the one we've been kind of touching on to spiritualized judgment.
They're not spiritual enough.
You're too negative or using spiritual concepts to shame people. So it's kind of interesting to kind of hear some of the phrases when we're talking about.
[00:38:44] Speaker A: Yeah. What we're seeing here, or this one is really interesting because it really resonates. It says we think our pain makes us less spiritual. When pain, that. That's the, the spiritual journey itself is to be able to look at pain differently, to be able to put a light in it and be able to heal it. So that, that way it's no longer has that hold on you.
So not to see it as less than.
[00:39:12] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's the good vibes only kind of. And then also that kind of ego thing comes back in. You know, if you're feeling pain, you've done something wrong.
[00:39:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:21] Speaker B: You know, so pain makes us less spiritual.
I just don't buy into that myself. I think that my spiritual growth has come from releasing pain. And you have. And you have to recognize it first.
[00:39:38] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:39:40] Speaker B: Okay. I really don't know what to say about that particular one because I just don't feel into it. I don't.
Yeah. It just doesn't resonate with me as far as my personal life.
Okay. So another one is we don't know the difference between intuition and fear.
It's a lot of fear in the world.
[00:40:01] Speaker A: There is.
[00:40:03] Speaker B: And when you get that hinky feeling, sometimes it is intuition, but sometimes it's programming.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: But also it's where you're at. Like for example, let's say you are tuning into like what's going on and everything in within what you set yourself to tune into is what you're going to receive. So sometimes it can feel like intuition, but really it's fear based.
So let's say you haven't cleared yourself. Let's say you have not than anything. And automatically you think you can just jump into your intuition and not grounded, not clear yourself from any entities, not let go of any energy that doesn't belong to you.
Your connection, even though you think is your intuition, it's probably going to give you more of a fear based result than someone that is grounded, that have cleared themselves and is just trying to connect with their intuition.
At least that's what I've discovered myself. Because before I would think, like, maybe I can skip this step.
[00:41:14] Speaker B: Well, I think we all think that. So I guess that is spiritual bypassing, isn't it? When you think you can jump ahead.
Okay, so we see it in everyday life, you know, that's what we're talking about. We, you know, Amaral, are discussing this and we're getting a little somber I. I can tell because we're actually recognizing we've fallen into these patterns ourselves.
So, you know, we're not casting dispersions on anybody.
But it is interesting to see kind of see the traps, because I know I've used some of these phrases myself.
[00:41:46] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:41:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
So are there any signs, you know, when people. You can tell one of the ways.
Let me speak. I can speak in sentences.
In real life, you know, it's used to avoid decision making, for example.
So I think that goes into this all God's will kind of concept, or it's all for the best, or it's karma, or, you know, oh, my favorite, it's Mercury retrograde, so I can't leave the house.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:21] Speaker B: There are points where you're allowing circumstances to become the ruler of you instead of you recognizing circumstances and working within them.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:42:35] Speaker B: So, for example, when I sold my condo in Seattle, it was during Mercury retrograde. And everybody was telling me, do not sell your house during Mercury retrograde.
And I was like, somebody wants to buy this. I'm signing the paperwork, you know, but it was amazing how many people were like, no, don't do it. You know, so that could have caused me to avoid a decision if I'd listened to it. It's like, oh, here's someone making an offer, but I'm going to have to turn it down because it's Mercury retrograde.
Now tell me that's in your best interest.
So that's a good example, I think, in real life of spiritual bypassing for.
For a circumstance to rule you.
[00:43:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:24] Speaker B: And then sometimes we were talking about how astrology can be an excuse for certain behaviors. And because I teach tarot, and I. And I read tarot, I have seen people use divination tools as thinking that it foretells the future specifically.
So it's like. It's like, oh, well, this will happen, so I can't do this. Right. Like, so, once again, it's like, oh, maybe like, oh, well, this is going to happen, so I can't leave the house. That's what the card said.
But no, that's not what divination tools are for. Divination means connect, connecting to the divine, connecting to your higher self. That's how I describe a tarot reading. And one of the things my tarot teacher always said, good old Eli, it compels that, does not impel meaning. It. It shows you the possibilities. It does not tell you something is actually positively going to happen because you have free will. See, spiritual bypassing would be bypassing Your free will so you can look at what's likely to happen if you keep going the way you are. But if you see something in a divination where you go, oh, I conceive that could end it having consequences. Consequences that aren't for my best behavior. Well, now you're aware of it. Shining the light like you talked about. And now you can make a choice to change your behavior. So that doesn't it, it's not written in stone, people. But the bypassing would be saying, well the tarot card said this so it has to be.
Or my pendulum said it so it has to be. You know, it's like, oh, that's abnegating your free will. That is definitely bypassing in my opinion.
What do you have to say about that? I got on my, I got on my high horse about that.
[00:45:12] Speaker A: No, I agree with you. There's a lot of those examples that just happen, I think. Just, I don't know. My, my biggest thing is like for example, manifesting, right. There are cycles where they're ideal, like meaning like when things are blooming and stuff, there's more the energy support supporting you. But we all manifest every single, all the time depending on what we're focusing on to. So yes, there's maybe and more energy that supports certain things, but it doesn't mean it's going to stop you from doing the things that you are meant to be doing or where you're truly putting your focus and energy into it.
[00:45:52] Speaker B: Okay, so another example that we've, we found on our online searches is declaring everything happens for a reason at the wrong moment. And I think we've all been on the receiving end of that and it doesn't feel good.
[00:46:04] Speaker A: No, this is when you have to use your discernment, like when you're grieving, like when someone's grieving, that's the worst line. You can come to someone and tell them.
[00:46:12] Speaker B: Absolutely. And that's another one that's coming up here. Skipping grief and calling it detachment.
So it's a two way street. You know, somebody trying to give you the platitudes doesn't feel good if you're genuinely grieving. And then if you're spiritually bypassing when you're grieving it, it's like, oh, if I, if I stay stoic and I'm non detached to the feeling, then I'm a higher spiritual being. So I, I, grief is bad. We kind of touched about that on that earlier and no, you have to go through the grief cycle. It's absolutely Normal.
And that goes with the next one. Mistaking numbness for peace.
I think most people in the United States are really trying to achieve numbness.
[00:46:57] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
Yes. In the worst way possible.
[00:47:04] Speaker B: And thinking that's peace. So it. Some, like, you know, coming home and watching TV for hours and hours and hours might seem like peace, but it's actually probably more numbness.
[00:47:14] Speaker A: Right. Yeah, it's just.
[00:47:15] Speaker B: I just want to turn my brain off.
I don't want to feel.
[00:47:18] Speaker A: Yep. Or getting home. And it's like, oh, I gotta have a drink, because this is gonna make me relax. Not that there's anything against that. It's just when you're using it to numb yourself, to not feel, to not be present, to not live your life, there's a problem.
[00:47:36] Speaker B: Well. And I certainly have fallen into that trap in myself. And I think true peace comes with, like we've talked about before, just learning to be authentic and love parts of yourselves, light and dark.
[00:47:48] Speaker A: And because that piece, you're holding it within, it has nothing to do with the outside of you.
[00:47:54] Speaker B: Yes. You nailed it. It's not external, it's internal.
Okay. Oh, this is.
This is a good one, isn't it? Coming up. Saying I'm manifesting when we're actually procrastinating.
Well, I set it in motion. I'm manifesting so I don't have to act.
We know when. We know when you're manifesting. You have to make that first initial step.
Yeah, it's. It's. It's a combination of. Of thought, emotion, and action. Yeah. That said, you said an emotion. True. But you do have to make some kind of effort to get it going.
[00:48:29] Speaker A: No, you have to take some sort of action.
[00:48:32] Speaker B: And I'm the biggest procrastinator you'll ever meet. So I. I would love to use that excuse, but it never occurred to me. It's a good. It's a good, good one for procrastinators, but I don't know.
I don't know who's going to believe you. Yeah, very convenient.
Okay. Another one is confusing intuition with our favorite avoidance strategy.
Oh, that would be like. My guides guided me to. You know, to listen to the. To. To the Wooville podcast on repeat over and over and over again. It's such a spiritual thing, and it's getting you to avoid something.
See, we can laugh at ourselves and with ourselves.
[00:49:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:49:17] Speaker B: You know, I was thinking about the first. That first time I got caught called a spiritual bypass. Celeste, Is there such a thing?
Was actually, it was a Facebook post where I had said something, and someone who's extremely on one side of the left. Right. I'm not going to say which side, but extremely on one of those sides took offense and was trying to bait me into an argument.
And I could see the strategy, and so I wasn't going to fall for it. So all I wrote back was, I see you.
I see what you're doing.
And then she came back at me again and tried to initiate another argument. And I wrote back, I see you. I see what you're doing. Because I did see what she was doing, and I didn't want to engage.
And then she kept trying to bait me, and she tried again, and that's when she called, said I was spiritual bypassing. So I just thought that would be kind of humorous to bring that up now that you guys. You guys know the story.
Apparently I was spiritual bypassing when all I was trying to do was avoid an argument.
[00:50:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:29] Speaker B: Okay. So how do you recognize when you are bypassing? Oh, my goodness.
That's good to know.
If you feel tightness, urgency, or pressure, it's probably avoidance and not intuition. That is so true, isn't it? Yeah.
[00:50:44] Speaker A: Because you can feel it in your body. For sure.
[00:50:46] Speaker B: Intuition feels more tight, tingly, and light, and like, you kind of trust it and all that pressure feels like dread, doesn't it? Yep. Yeah, that's a really good self check. Yep. Okay. Do you want to read. Read the next one.
[00:51:00] Speaker A: Yep. If you're bypassing, you'll hear yourself jump to the spiritual answer too fast.
[00:51:07] Speaker B: Kind of like by conditioning. Just think I'm supposed to say this.
[00:51:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:51:12] Speaker B: You'll hear yourself jump to the spiritual answer.
Okay. We definitely see that in certain communities. Okay. And if the emotion hasn't been felt, it's not healed. Isn't that what we've been talking about through the whole episode?
[00:51:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:51:30] Speaker B: It's to avoid feeling. So. And. But the emotions affect the physical. It affects the spiritual, affects the mental. It needs to be addressed for the healing.
[00:51:39] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:51:40] Speaker B: Want to read the next one?
[00:51:42] Speaker A: Yeah. If your spirituality makes. Makes you smaller, quieter, or less honest, something is off.
[00:51:51] Speaker B: It would be. If it makes you want to just kind of recoil and not be seen.
Yeah. Because the spirituality should really be about, like you talked about, expansion and growth. And so, I mean, we do withdraw from time to time in order to heal.
But this is like ego trying to keep you small and not be seen.
[00:52:09] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:52:10] Speaker B: And the ego does that.
It makes you. Everybody thinks that it's about the ego inflating and making you be grandiose. But it also makes you think you can't be seen at all.
Okay. If you're using magic, ritual, and tarot to escape reality instead of facing it, that's probably spiritual bypassing.
We kind of touched on that already. I got a little preachy about it too.
[00:52:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:52:40] Speaker B: So what are some healthy alternatives? Let's talk about those. Amarol you go with. You get started on that.
[00:52:47] Speaker A: Sit with the real feeling for 30 seconds. That's often enough.
[00:52:52] Speaker B: Yes. Because if you're bypassing, I suppose you don't even try to feel it for three seconds, right?
[00:52:59] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:53:00] Speaker B: Sit with it, allow it, observe it, don't judge it. That's. That's how we can back. Get back on the spiritual path. Absolutely. Okay, so the next one is let your intuition speak after the emotion moves.
So instead of jumping to spiritual conclusions, allow the emotion and then. And then trust your intuition afterward. Do you want to read the next one?
[00:53:24] Speaker A: Yep. Use tarot to tell the truth. Not by pass by, not. Not bypass it.
[00:53:31] Speaker B: How do you see that in. Since you've been working with tarot as well?
[00:53:40] Speaker A: Well, I mean, it just brings you clarity into, like, understanding the situation a little bit more.
[00:53:45] Speaker B: If you use it and you're very objective about it and. And. And very honest looking at the cards or other types of divination, you can learn a lot about yourself.
But I think what happens, it's interesting because a lot of people come to me who read tarot and they say, I can't do readings on myself. I go, really? I do them every day. I learn a lot about myself.
And I think it's because it's the bypassing. They're not willing to take a good, honest look at the cards and how they relate to them because it's not comfortable to look at. Some of the ones that tell you that, oh, you've got a little work to do. Yeah.
Okay. So another one is find the middle, spiritual insight and human reality. So we talked about trying to say balance, Right. That'd be the middle. But also. So what they're saying is spiritual insights on one side and human realities on the other side. Absolutely true.
[00:54:42] Speaker A: Or finding the bridge between the two.
[00:54:45] Speaker B: Absolutely. They're constantly working hand in hand.
One is not separate from the other. So the more you're in touch with your body and your human reality, the more the insights probably will come, to be honest with you. And the more that you trust your body. Yeah, I get that. Do you want to say the next one?
[00:55:04] Speaker A: Yep. Get comfortable saying, yeah, this hurts.
[00:55:09] Speaker B: I like that.
There's nothing wrong with that as long as you don't get sucked into the quagmire of emotions that could be associated with that. Which is why I keep going back to the Buddhist example. They do not deny that sometimes things do hurt.
They do not deny that sometimes things aren't working out the way that's ideal.
I actually had a tarot reading one time with someone who sat down and she told me all the things that had gone wrong that year before we did our reading.
And there were many. And the one that was the topper was that her beloved boat, which I think had been passed, Passed down to her through her family, was stolen and used for a crime.
And so when someone tells you something like that, you know what I did before we did the reading? I looked her straight in the eye, said, yeah, that sucks, doesn't it?
And she knew I was not bypassing.
And we did. And that's all we did. That's all I said. I didn't, you know, try to go, you know, oh, life's so terrible. I go, all I said was, yeah, that sucks, doesn't it?
[00:56:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:56:22] Speaker B: And that's what they're talking about here. Sometimes we have to admit it does. Mm.
Okay. Wow. Well, we went down the spiritual bypassing rabbit hole here and learned that I think the main thing is toxic positivity. Yep.
[00:56:41] Speaker A: Because, I mean, it's not. It. It's not to say that you shouldn't be positive. I mean, everyone should be positive. It's just when the emotions come up, I think it's being aware, sitting with them, acknowledging them, seeing where you're at. Is the main thing about for not spiritual bypassing, that is.
[00:57:02] Speaker B: Yeah. So if you're grieving, grieve. If you're having one of those days where things just feel off, just. Okay. Things feel off today.
That doesn't mean it's going to be permanent. Yeah. It just means. Okay.
I'm not going to deny this. So this has actually turned out to be a deeper conversation than I anticipated at the beginning when we were giggling. Yeah.
And I hope it's been helpful.
[00:57:34] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:57:35] Speaker B: So thank you so much for listening and staying with us and not bypassing us.
[00:57:42] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:57:43] Speaker B: And we will see in a week. I want to thank Mixed Media by Bruce. That's my buddy, who has been helping us with the audio to improve it on our podcast. Thank you so much, Bruce. Thank you to Mystical Wares for sponsoring us. Please go to mystical wears.com and take a look at their goods.
And if you're interested, in a tarot reading from me. I just. Contact me at lola light language arts.com and we'll see you next week.
[00:58:09] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:58:10] Speaker B: Bye.
