Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey, hosted by two fellow travelers who found a soul connection on the path to higher consciousness.
Our goal is to help you navigate the choppy waters you're likely to encounter on the spiritual path by sharing our experiences with you each week.
Join us as we spill the tea on what it is like to wake up to your authentic self.
Hi, I am Lola Singer, and I am in the studio with a sassy.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Cat who just tried to bite a guest.
[00:00:34] Speaker A: Yes, we've got special guests, and she hasn't taken her gracious hostess lessons today, but I'm also with my co host, Amaral.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: Hello, I am Amaral, and in the.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: Studio, a welcome back, two of my favorite, favorite Divine masculine representatives. They were here earlier for an episode, and they enjoyed doing the podcast so much they wanted to come back.
[00:01:00] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:01:01] Speaker A: So welcome to Aaron.
[00:01:03] Speaker C: Hello.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: And Jeffrey. Jeffrey's laughing because, well, he was the one who the cat swiped at.
And these two are very good.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: Hello.
[00:01:14] Speaker D: Hello.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: These two are very good friends, so, you know, it's like brothers teasing each other here today, so. Oh, speaking of which, I highly recommend the episode they did.
It is called where's the Divine Masculine? And if you haven't heard that yet, I highly recommend you do.
It was a jolly hello, especially after a mere escape from Mia the cat.
Okay, so anyway, I think things are settled down in the studio now, and we're so flattered you guys wanted to come back. So let's remind the audience a little bit about who you are and what you do. This time, let's start with Jeffrey, because the cat's still eyeing him.
Jeffrey, do you. Do you. Oh, she's okay. She's lying down now. Mia, you're not being friendly today.
Okay?
[00:02:10] Speaker D: I'm Jeffrey Maple. I'm a physical healer.
Work on people who have physical, mental, sexual trauma.
Yeah.
But I believe there's more, and I've been kind of trying to focus on that to find out exactly what it is I do and who seems to find me and who has the best results and why.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: I think a lot of us are in transition right now. You know, I feel the same way, too.
I met Jeffrey at psychic fairs, and I've seen him, his growth, and he is an amazing energy healer. And whenever I've been at fairs that he's at, and I've talked to somebody who I sense could use his brand of healing, which is usually people with a deep wound, I always recommend him.
So I speak highly of Jeffrey. And then we also have Aaron here who will tell us a little bit about what he does.
[00:03:19] Speaker C: Yeah. My name is Aaron. Aaron Houtman, I guess you could say. I'm a student of life and part of the community of healing and learning. My wife and I have a company. We call it Cosmic Earth Medicine. It's really. I call. It's kind of actually just our life. It's not really a company, our life that masquerades as a company. And we sell crystals and minerals, copper energy tools, crystal talismans. And my wife also does intuitive readings. She's very good at that.
[00:03:48] Speaker A: Yes. And I met those two at Met Physical fairs as well, back when we both lived in Seattle.
[00:03:56] Speaker C: Yeah, I did live in Seattle then. It's a whole different. It's like a whole nother life ago.
[00:04:00] Speaker A: I know we're talking about transition and things. Things changing it. Which is perfect for the title of our podcast today.
[00:04:08] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:04:08] Speaker A: Amaral, would you like to tell the folks what it is?
[00:04:11] Speaker B: Yes. So today's episode, we're going back and refreshing one that we did before.
And our title for episode is Growing with the Inner Child.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: So this morning, when we got ready in the studio, I suggested we look at some of the previous episodes so we could get feedback from two new perspectives. The two. Two guests in the studio, and we all agreed on Inner Child. And what I'm really impressed with that is that, once again, I love this from a male perspective, because there are a lot of wounded people. It doesn't matter what gender, but men in particular, especially with what I saw modeled growing up with my dad, it was like, you need to be stoic, you know, take stiff upper lips. So to be vulnerable and admit that there's a child within you who needs love and nurturing, that's a big step, I think, even for men in this day and age. So the fact that you two wanted to talk about this, I think, really shows that you guys were the right people for the divine masculine episode. Right.
So where do we start? With the inner child.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: So I think that one of the things that we were. The reason why, I guess we. I feel. I feel we all agreed with the Inner Child is because it's a constant work in progress.
Even if we start, like, let's say we get to something, it has so many layers that sometimes we get. We think we have gone, like, so advanced, and then next thing you know, is, like, it takes us back to another layer from a deeper thing, because a lot of things have a root, and sometimes it takes a while to get to that root. And that's also honorable, and that's part of our journey. So let's start with.
Ooh, this is a good one that I would love to hear from our guest.
How was. How was your experience when you first connected with your inner child? How did you first find your. Found your inner child?
[00:06:09] Speaker C: Oh, I can. I can actually speak to that because it wasn't that long ago. Actually, I'm gonna say it was two. Two to three years ago.
It actually has to do with a medicine journey that I was on, a plant medicine journey.
And I was in this haloka, which is where we were doing the medicine. And it's nighttime.
I'm under the medicine. I'm fully in the medicine, and I'm going through all these different, like, visions in my head. And just. It's like. It's almost like, you know, when you were younger, back before, when it was at real TV and you had the. The channel clicker, and you just flip through channels trying to find something to watch, something that's like, literally what was going on in my inner vision. I was just going through all these, like, memories and.
And pictures and stuff that was just coming through one at a time. And then all of a sudden, they all went away. And it was just one that just came rushing in.
And it was this dream that I. Or I'm gonna call it, it was a nightmare that I used to have, this reoccurring nightmare that I used to have when I was, like, three.
From the age of three to six or seven, I had this reoccurring nightmare. And in this nightmare, I would be stuck in this shack in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night. Everything was dark.
I was always terrified. In some of the dreams, my little sister would be with me, and then I would be. We'd both be there, and I'd be scared for both of us. And having this feeling like I wanted to protect her, but then knowing that I was not courageous enough to protect her. And I was just like this scared little kid in this shack in the woods. And this is like a reoccurring nightmare that I had. There was also, in some of the dreams, it was like bird in a cage. And then the bird. Something bad would happen to the bird. I won't get into it. But it was like this really terrifying dream. So all of a sudden, as an adult, and I'm 44 now, so this was somewhere in my early 40s, 41 or 42, however old I was at the time, all of a sudden, this nightmare that I hadn't even thought of in 30 something years. All of a sudden, it's just. I'm rushed right back into this nightmare.
[00:08:28] Speaker A: And.
[00:08:28] Speaker C: And there in this little shack in the dark is little. Is little Aaron.
And I saw him in there and I immediately just got like, just talking about. I get chills just talking about seeing myself as a little kid sitting in this dark shack. And all of a sudden I understood that little Aaron, my inner child, is still sitting in this dark shack in the middle of the woods, being terrified.
And instantly I just started talking to him and being like, it's okay, you're big now. You're strong now. You don't have to hide here. You can come out. It's okay.
And over the last few years, I actually go and visit my inner child in this place in the woods. However, this shack in the woods is no longer a shack. It's like a nice cabin. And the windows are open in the cabin and there's beautiful sunlight coming in. There's little pictures on the wall. There's little things all over this. This cabin that make it a nice and warm place. And I go and visit my inner child, and I talk to my inner child and help heal them up and.
And let them know that it's safe to be. To be who you are. So that's actually how I first interacted with my. My inner child.
[00:09:41] Speaker B: Awesome. Thank you. How about you, Jeffrey?
[00:09:46] Speaker D: For me, it was my first time doing Cambodia.
And then, you know, that wonderful experience where you're just.
For me, it felt like I had the flu for an hour because I'm stubborn and I wouldn't let go. And then I don't remember who was with me. I wasn't paying attention to them, but they were just like, why are you here? What are you doing this for? And I was like, okay, so what am I holding on to?
And then I think it took me to the first grade or kindergarten, and then I saw myself pulling a rope. So I kept pulling, kept pulling, like, what is this feeling? What is this feeling? And I kept pulling, pulling, pulling. And then it got to the end, and there was a note attached to it.
And I tugged on it and it said fear. And I was like, okay, so fear.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: And.
[00:10:45] Speaker D: That took me to my inner child. And like you, I was in a room and I saw a little me sitting on the floor, just kind of hunched up, holding my knees.
And so I turned on the light and I went to myself and I picked him up and just hugged him and said, it's okay. It's Me, look, we survived.
And then kind of like a movie, I showed my little self, like, how we've accomplished these things in life. And I saw them as bookmarks, you know, where fear came in. And it was like, I just saw it as a bookmark. Like, okay, this is a chapter where we're gonna have to go and look into this fear and see why it's here.
And I just kept hugging little me until I was no longer hugging my little self. I was hugging myself.
And we just integrated and was like, there we go.
[00:11:52] Speaker C: And.
[00:11:56] Speaker D: I saw it, as you mentioned, layers, because like I tell the people I work on, I feel like once I've worked on you, it's like, now you are a blooming onion. You have many layers to unfold, and they'll keep unfolding and different layers will come. Things that you thought you worked on. It's just going to be. You're going to be digging deeper and you're going to keep getting to more juicy things and layers that you didn't know, where it involves family members and choices that you made as a child, things that you saw that affected who you are today.
Yeah.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: Well, that's why we're calling it growing with the inner child, because you always need to check back and see how he or she's doing.
Because sometimes she feels very good and happy, and sometimes she feels like she's being ignored, and then she needs a little boost. So what I think is really, really interesting here, because Amarl and I have very similar stories about connecting with our inner child.
But what I love about you guys, not only that you're willing to tell us your experiences, but that you understood the power of imagination for the healing.
So for you, you purposely imagine creating a better environment for your inner child, Aaron, and what a beautiful thing to do.
[00:13:27] Speaker C: Yeah. And I want to say it wasn't like a purposeful thing. This is just what happened. As I kept going back to visit my inner child, the cabin just became full of light.
[00:13:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:13:37] Speaker C: Pictures started going on.
[00:13:38] Speaker A: So the healing was just very natural. Every time you check, yeah, it is subconscious, but every time you checked in, it had gotten brighter and more beautiful.
[00:13:46] Speaker C: After I noticed that that was happening and I saw that there was being improvements to the environment, then I became more purposeful about, oh, I'm going to put this decoration here. I'm going to make this cabin a warm and comfortable place. Maybe one day my inner child will have a friend over.
[00:14:02] Speaker A: Exactly. You keep building, and he's getting more and more comfortable with himself, you know, less fearful Less concerned about the what ifs.
And then, yes, that would be a good step to finally say, yes, the window's open now. I can open the door.
But that's. Once again, it's the onion. It's step by step by step by step, and you weren't rushing the process.
And then what I liked about your story, Jeffrey, is that you immediately knew to integrate with that child. You knew to hold him, to tell him he was safe, and it worked. So I don't think people understand necessarily, because, you know, we're just trained to be so rational and clinical that inner child work really is feeling the emotions, holding the child safe in your arms. And if that requires you to imagine that, that is how the magic happens. So usually if someone needs some inner child work, the first thing I ask them is, why don't you put your inner child in your lap?
And, Jeffrey, you automatically did that.
[00:15:07] Speaker D: Yeah. Well, I feel because we. We talk about our inner child like it's a part of us. It's you.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:15:14] Speaker D: Why are you looking at it as like someone that's not you that's on the floor or. I need to heal my inner child. And I think for me personally, I think people get detached from who that is. Like, you're talking about yourself. So integrate like.
[00:15:36] Speaker A: Yeah, but I was one of the people who was very detached.
I had. I even had spiritual people trying to get me to accept that I was that.
Let me just rephrase this. I think she was rejecting me more than I was rejecting her, but as a result, I was rejecting her.
So I didn't have that integration right away. So this is good for people in.
[00:15:59] Speaker C: The audience, you know, visualization. When you. You started doing inner child work.
[00:16:03] Speaker A: Yeah. So let me tell you my story and then Amaral can tell you his, because it. It parallels your guys stories, because it's always about a child who feels alone in the dark, isn't it?
In the dark. Subconscious. Right.
[00:16:16] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:16:17] Speaker A: So for my inner child, and people may have heard this already on the podcast, but it's a good story.
I was doing spiritual work, I was doing meditation, and I set the intention to find my inner child. And eventually I did. And when I did, she was in an urban landscape, in an abandoned parking garage with her face facing the wall.
And when I walked up to talk to her, she would have nothing to do with me, absolutely nothing.
And I tried to cajole her. I mean, there was no way I could have done what you did, which was hold her. She would not accept me, me.
So my main guide at the time, who's still one of my best guides, is Anubis. So I called Anubis in and I said, can you talk to her?
And he looked at her. He, like, held his hand out, and she went directly into his arms.
So she kind of melted into his arms for a while.
And I knew she. But she still wouldn't look at me.
Like. Like. It's like. Can you imagine? There's, like a being holding you as an inner child, but your inner child will not look at you.
So, yeah, it was. It was. It was so devastating to find her looking at that wall in that cold place and so that it had to be half steps for me.
That's how wounded she was. So.
And it took a while, and that's why I said it.
The fact that, Jeffrey, that you guys, you connected with your inner child so easily, whereas I had a struggle. And it took me months and months and months and months, kind of like.
I don't know why, because I wanted to. I wanted to help with her healing. But it was just such a disconnect for so long. But eventually it all worked out and.
[00:18:13] Speaker C: And I want to say that in my experience, my inner child was not comfortable with any kind of physical touch also at first either. That was something that had to be gained. The trust had to be gained.
[00:18:24] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. So I hope that helps people in the audience to understand that once again, this is a process. It doesn't always happen the first try.
So, Emeril, tell them about your story of finding your inner child.
[00:18:37] Speaker B: I'll be brief because I do have a question that I want to ask them, too.
So with my inner child, as Lola said, it takes steps.
During a session, we were looking for the inner child, and I ended up in this abandoned house.
There was, like, no one there. And I searched the house and there was no one there. And I supposed to be connecting with my inner child. And it was really strange because I thought, well, where is my inner child? Or why am I here? All of a sudden I heard this thump and I went over and it was a closet. And I opened the closet and my inner child was there. And it was tied up, sitting on a chair.
And so the only thing I could do at that first time and first encounter was untie the ropes. And that was all, because after that, it was just so gone. It couldn't. It couldn't see me, it couldn't hear me. It couldn't do anything because it was just so going through a lot of things that I hadn't Healed. And luckily for me, it happened in the very beginning of my healing journey. So because of that, I was able to go, like you said, connect a lot more into it, go back to it. And that was very important for me. So one of the things, and we all, I think that we all can connect with similarity of stories as far as. I don't think no one can find their inner child like the happiest they've ever seen them because we have intent to them. We. We kind of have abandoned them. And the part of abandoning them later on, we see the reflection of how it affects us now as adults by having certain traumas develop from that. So my next question to you guys is, and I, I want each one of you guys to answer this is why is it important for you to work on your. On healing your inner child?
Like, what is it? Why is it, like you describing it? Why is it important for you to heal your inner child?
[00:20:39] Speaker C: That's a really good question.
The why.
I feel like I know before we started the show, we kind of like touched on ego a little bit, discussed it. Now I think the ego is kind of can be in the business of protecting the inner, inner child and can do that in a lot of different ways, in a lot of unhealthy ways. It can make you be stiff around people, it can make you be angry around people. It could cause you to. To act in. In a way that would prevent you from being hurt even when there's no real danger.
So I think in order to kind of let the ego know that you can rest, the healing of the inner child has to be. Has to be started like the child. Your inner child needs to feel courageous and it needs to feel comfortable just being around. It doesn't need to be in fear. It doesn't need a constant protector all the time. And once you get rid of the need to have this constant protection to protect this ins. This, this feeling or this thing that you have inside of you, part of you, you need to heal that before you can start doing some of the real work to, I guess to heal, to heal your outside self, you got to start with your inside self, you know.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: Jeffrey?
[00:22:05] Speaker D: Well, like my process, you know, you mentioned like one first try that I got it and that was easy.
It was five years leading up to that to be able to get to that point where I was ready to accept that hurt. Little boy, I think it's important for your own growth to move in the process of moving forward to really knowing thyself. You have to heal all Aspects of yourself. And definitely the inner child is a big one because childhood for most of us, I'm gonna say, you know, 90% of us, it's survival. We learn survival tactics. We learn how to walk on eggshells, how to read people's emotions and reactions and know what to say, when to hide, when to, you know, survival. So what's not taught as adults is everything you learned in your first 18 years you have to unlearn as an adult. And I think that taught to all adults that everything that you learned was survival. It's not going to work as an adult because those tactics you're going to carry as an adult, it's going to rub people the wrong way.
It's the, the ego gets over involved.
That's, that's, you know, we can go into many things after that.
[00:23:41] Speaker C: But.
[00:23:44] Speaker B: Yeah, it's, it's the only thing I could think of too.
There's this saying that says before you awaken your drunken ego. And it's so true because we don't see the ego because we can, we don't know how to identify it, but yet our whole life is pretty, pretty much ego based. So.
[00:24:01] Speaker C: Totally. Yeah.
[00:24:02] Speaker A: So my approach to this, and I agree with everything you're saying, is that also, you know, there's one core wounding that happened very early when we're a child that turned off who we really are and we did it out of protection. You're absolutely right.
So it could be like, you know, some censoring ourselves is a good example. Right?
That core wound. The reason we need to figure out what it is is we have to look at it from a child's perspective. Because I think my problem was I was trying to approach it as an adult looking at the child.
And the only way to find that core wound is to start thinking like a child again.
So the things that we think are relatively simple situations as adults to handle are, could be absolutely devastating to a two or three year old. That's when they start the shame spiral. This mommy and daddy yelled at me, I'm a bad girl. And then there's the wound.
And as an adult, whatever the parents yelled at, we could go, well, I get it, parents get upset, you know, and all that. But no, it was devastating to the child. And that's what, why all of our inner children had a core wounding that made them want to hide, be in the dark, feel unworthy of the being in the golden sunlight.
[00:25:28] Speaker D: Right.
[00:25:29] Speaker A: So that's why I think this is so important, because we can rationalize it as an adult. And go, oh, right. You know, I have traumas I recognize from growing up. It's this, this, this and this. But, you know, to a little kid, it could be as much as, you know, someone took my toy away.
[00:25:47] Speaker C: Yeah. And I, like, I remember. I remember being at daycare center at 3 years old, and there was another boy there that was. I think he was a little bit older than me, but he was definitely meaner than me because I didn't have. I wasn't a mean little kid. I didn't know anything about violence or anything like that. I was just the goofball, complete goofball. And I remember he actually beat. And I was bigger than him, even though I was younger, but I was bigger than him. But he still. He beat me up.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: Because you knew nothing about. About that kind of philosophy.
[00:26:14] Speaker C: I remember the feeling of, like, man, this world is actually a very scary place. And I remember not knowing that until that moment. Like, that was the first time I ever had real fear that I could actually be harmed.
[00:26:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:26:27] Speaker C: By something or someone. Was at three. Three years old at daycare.
[00:26:32] Speaker A: Wow. That's legitimate.
[00:26:33] Speaker B: Wow, that is insane, too.
All I can even add to that, I think that every single one of you has such great points that you have brought out. I feel like, to sum it up for me, the reason why it's important to heal the inner child, it's like looking in a mirror, but that mirror is reflecting black all your insecurities, all your fears, all the things that you say you can't do back to you. And that is what.
What it represents. Healing that inner child, like, when it's wounded, it's a mere reflection of you that you have to go back through and not see it with the harshness that you've seen it before, because that's what caused the trauma in the first place. But instead, see it as this is what happened. But we're moving on from this. And the inner child, as you said, Lola, it doesn't recognize like, it takes it as a story because that's all it knows. That's. The coping skills are so limited because at that young age, we don't have coping skills. And we trust our whole lives to our parents, and we trust our whole lives to everyone around us. And if that's not going right, which we know, I mean, not that we're blaming, but it's just in general, none of us had perfect parents or a perfect society to grow with. So then we have all that.
But another good question that I was writing down, protecting this how has your inner.
How has healing your inner child changed your life?
[00:28:05] Speaker C: Wow, that's another, that's another big question.
[00:28:09] Speaker A: I know. And you always get to start.
[00:28:13] Speaker C: You know, I can say it. It allowed me. Starting to heal. My inner child has allowed me to be a more gentler and more soft person.
Some of the fear which is at the root of all of my problems and all my insecurities is all this fear of not being good enough, not being strong enough, not being courageous enough.
Once I started addressing these issues with my inner child, I was able to become a softer person on the outside like I had. Like I just said, it's like you have to start, you have to start on the inside. I was able, able to be more goofy again on the outside. Everything didn't have to be so serious all the time.
I can laugh. Like, I remember people, like, people would tell me, like when I was a teenager, people would tell me that I acted like a 40 year old, which I'm 40 now. And I feel more, I feel more like a kid now than when I was actually a teenager. Actually a kid.
[00:29:11] Speaker A: Because you feel authentic now, don't you?
[00:29:13] Speaker C: Yeah, I feel like really authentic. And I feel, I feel safe.
[00:29:18] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:29:19] Speaker C: I feel safe now. Yes. Not all the time. There's still some things that, that trigger me. They trigger my, my inside child. They, you know, I still, my walls will still go up, but for the most part, I feel safe. And I have no excuse like you can't see on the podcast, but I exercise, I lift weights, I try to make myself big on the outside. And I'm pretty sure this has a lot to do with me wanting to feel safe and protected, just like another layer of protection. But this way I can build up my layer of protection on the outside with my body and I can still be a goofball on the inside, but.
[00:29:55] Speaker A: It'S a good combo.
[00:29:56] Speaker C: I think it's just allowed me to be safe. And once, once you feel safe, then you can be yourself.
[00:30:00] Speaker D: Yeah, I agree with all that and I'm right there with you.
[00:30:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:30:04] Speaker D: Yeah, same softening my rough edges.
People who didn't know I had a sense of humor, like, wow, you're. You just like to joke and laugh.
[00:30:18] Speaker A: And yeah, I've had the pleasure of knowing you guys for that period of time and watching, watching you shift. It's been a pleasure to see you guys.
Not that I didn't like you before I did, but to see how you've become more comfortable with yourself, both of you.
[00:30:39] Speaker C: That goes, that goes back to you too. Because I've watched you soften up over.
[00:30:43] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, talk about a warrior queen. Oh, my God, I'm gonna hurt you before you hurt me kind of mentality.
[00:30:49] Speaker D: Walking in, seeing you the blue moon, and you had your crystal wand, and you were just like, come at me.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I've definitely.
I had to go into a lot of posturing to survive.
So that's why I was a punk rock girl, you know? And I still, you know, love my black.
But one of the things I think for me is I have a degree in psychology, and I find all these layers fascinating, but to actually not just understand it at a mental level, but to live it.
That's what the freedom is, you know, and to have that perspective as an adult, to say, oh, I understand why my child might feel like this. So how do we work with that? You know, how do we work together to make her feel safer?
And that's been good for me.
I'm still going through layers, though. I found out a new one about a week ago, and so I just.
I just thought, like, for me, I had recurring nightmares like you as a child.
I had two that were particular. The one that was most devastating was that I was lost in a supermarket looking for my mommy. And you know how the shelves are so tall, and I couldn't find. Find her, and I saw Batman in one of the aisles. And I walked up to Batman and asked for help, and he refused to help me.
And so I got abandoned by Batman.
And then the other one, and these went on for years, too, was that I was alone in the house and someone knocked on the door, and that was back. You know, you answered the door and hoped it wasn't the Jehovah's Witnesses. Right.
I open the door, it's a Boy Scout, and the Boy Scout attacks me with a knife.
[00:32:43] Speaker C: What?
[00:32:44] Speaker A: And that happened? Yeah. Like a figure you're supposed to trust. I know.
Don't go there.
I can tell he's going Freudian on me.
But no, it was absolutely. I mean, it's like this is someone you're supposed to trust, and all I do is open the door and get attacked. So that's how deeply wounded my child was.
And so I thought abandonment was my main issue, but I actually had to go to the next layer. And it was finding out last week it was the main issue that at least I haven't covered for now, that I may not have hit the core yet, was that I was taught to speak the truth. But when I spoke the truth, I was the bad girl.
So it's interesting, when you're doing inner child work, you might have thought you found that. That core wounding.
[00:33:33] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: Which I thought was abandonment based on those dreams especially.
But no, for me, it's like the incongruous. My parents tell me to tell the truth. I tell the truth, I get hurt.
So I'm saying this so I hope people in the audience can relate.
So was that one of the things you wanted to get to as well? That we go through layers, and we think we may have.
My tarot teacher always call it the pearl that the dragon's hiding. You know, that core wounding. We think we found the pearl, but we may have just uncovered one layer instead.
[00:34:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
The only thing I could even say that I think it sums up, and I think that, like, there's really no wrong answer. It's just kind of like how you feel about things and how you've lived those things. But to me, the one thing that has changed my life is being able to have a regulated nervous system.
[00:34:22] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:34:24] Speaker B: I realized that we all went through chaos and beyond, but just being able to regulate our nervous system, that is like, the greatest accomplishment ever.
[00:34:34] Speaker A: Good. Let's focus on this. Because we focused on what the core wounding was for us, what it's like to find your inner child. What are some techniques that helped each one of you as far as nurturing your inner child so that you can get the point where you can laugh more and feel more comfortable? What were some things you tried?
[00:34:51] Speaker C: Yeah, well, like, I kind of touched on before. It's just going back, and it's not a one and done. Like, this is a. This is a process, and this is something that you get to. You get to keep working on. And you will actually start to see growth in yourself by working on your inner child.
Once you start, once you make contact with him or her.
And so I. I continually visit my inner child. I will check in. I'll be sitting, watching tv and be like, oh, when's the last time that I talked to little Aaron?
[00:35:21] Speaker A: But you know what? I forget sometimes. We should be checking in with him or her regularly, shouldn't we?
[00:35:26] Speaker C: Yeah, totally. Because you want. If you. If you wait too long, you go back and pictures won't be on the wall.
[00:35:31] Speaker A: Yeah. They'll feel neglected.
[00:35:32] Speaker C: The sun will start being a little bit less bright. You know, they need companionship. I'm trying to remember the name of it. There's a Hawaiian guy.
I'm gonna have to look up his name. Maybe I can look it up And I'll say it, but he has this whole thing about talk. The way to talk to your inner child and to tell them that it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you.
You can trust me, and I love you. And it's like a very special way that you can talk to your inner child. I'll look it up in just a minute here, and then I'll.
[00:36:01] Speaker B: Is it ram dust?
[00:36:02] Speaker C: No, it's not ram dust.
[00:36:03] Speaker A: Sounds like a hoopono almost.
[00:36:04] Speaker C: That's it. Yes, it is.
[00:36:06] Speaker A: Hoopona. Yeah. Okay.
[00:36:07] Speaker C: And I can't remember the exact phrase, but there's a very special way that you can talk to your inner child and make them feel loved and make them feel like they can trust you.
[00:36:17] Speaker A: Now, that's a good point, because you found that with an Internet search or on a video or something like that.
[00:36:22] Speaker C: My father actually sent me one of his talks.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: Wow. But, I mean, that's something people can draw upon. There are YouTubes. There's people who. Who will talk you. There's inner child meditations, guided meditations.
Your breath work class is great for that. Sometimes people get in touch with their inner child, don't they?
[00:36:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:44] Speaker C: I actually want to talk to you. Talk later. But I do want to talk to you about that, the breath work class.
So. Yeah, so I just. Checking in with your inner child and being consistent in their life. Like you would want a parent to be consistent in your life as a kid, you know?
[00:36:58] Speaker A: You know, I think if you're smart and I'm not smart, because I keep forgetting, you should just, like, make that a reminder on your phone.
[00:37:05] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: Check in with my inner child. Because sometimes I check like you. Sometimes I check in with her. She's like, I'm good. I'm okay. Other times I check in with her, and she might be, you know, feeling very glum. You know, it's like, okay, what do you want to do?
And, you know, she usually wants to color. Okay, let's pretend we have a coloring book, you know?
Yes, Jeffrey's.
[00:37:25] Speaker D: Yeah, that's good.
[00:37:26] Speaker A: I mean, agreeing.
[00:37:26] Speaker D: I think that's what I went with, is, what would I do at age 5? Well, I want to get some comfort snacks and watch, you know, old rerun of GI Joe or He man or whatever, and do that as an adult. Indulge in it just. Or movies and just. Just comfort listening to my body. What. What do I react to? Maybe I need something softer, and maybe I need some Jim Hansen. So I watch, you know, Crystal, I.
[00:37:57] Speaker A: Think you're bringing up a good Point. Because I was kind of thinking of imagining my child coloring, but you. You're talking about the physical? I mean, yes.
[00:38:04] Speaker D: No, I mean, actually, exactly. Go to the store, get the physical.
[00:38:06] Speaker A: But I could. I could get a. Right. I could get. I could get a coloring book and color. But also, I think the power of the imagination, if you can't go out and get those snacks right away, still works, too. It's a good stepping stone. But sometimes that child does need the comfort. So, yes, sometimes I'll have to sit down and watch a TV show that I loved as a kid that has absolutely no scintillating value to an adult. You know, but when I take some.
[00:38:33] Speaker D: Of my me days, I'll check in and be like, do I need to go and have a little. A little me day?
[00:38:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:40] Speaker A: Have a little marathon?
[00:38:42] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, that's nice.
[00:38:44] Speaker A: Have you done that?
[00:38:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:38:46] Speaker B: So one of the things that I did growing up, I used to love watching the Muppet Babies. And the reason why I love watching the Muppet Babies is because it was like a cartoon. But when they went in their imagination, they would play little movies and little skits of things, and they would have such a vivid imagination.
And during that time, I was gifted a Muppet Babies Fozzie Bear. And I carry Fozzie everywhere with me. And so as an adult as well. No, so as an adult, I always.
[00:39:23] Speaker A: I thought you were inferring that.
[00:39:24] Speaker B: Well, no, what I meant is, like, as a kid, I would always carry it everywhere because it was like my comfort buddy type thing. And it just. It brought a lot of joy to me. So. So growing up one day I just, like, wake up and my inner child's like, I want him back.
So I looked him up and realized I could get it on Amazon for $100 because it was a collectible piece now, but my inner child was worth it. So I got it. And now it sits in my altar, and sometimes I need a hug from it. And that's how I connect to that energy and how I make my inner child feel comfortable and feel at ease and feel like it's okay. Okay. And another thing that it does that I do, because when I was a kid, I really enjoyed. I guess it was a zoning off, but also, it was just connecting with my own self, was playing old school video games like Super Mario Brothers and stuff like that. So I did. I still. I actually have a console that I can play older games.
[00:40:19] Speaker C: So that's, like, what Jeff was saying. Some things that you like to do.
[00:40:22] Speaker B: And so I like that. And the thing is, it's not like I do those, like, constantly, but I do it when the time where I'm like, I need to go back in, I need to go inwards, and I need to connect with that inner child, because it feels like almost like I'm just neglecting myself. And it's funny because not paying attention to ourselves consists of so many things. Like, it's our inner child connecting with them, making sure that's okay, making sure we're checking in with our emotions. So there's so much to it. But the inner child holds a lot of. Especially our joy and our peace is there with the inner child. If the inner child has that, we have that.
[00:40:58] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: Well, I learned something else from you that actually works very well. Because you were talking about. Because you have a teddy bear as well as the Fozzie bear, right?
[00:41:06] Speaker B: No, you're talking about Fozzie.
[00:41:08] Speaker A: Okay. So one time he came over and he was talking about how he was hugging the bear, and I went, oh, yeah. And I think you just.
It told the bear, bear, you know, like. Like that's your inner child, that you loved him.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:41:23] Speaker A: And I went, well, I have a plush toy upstairs, and it's the Abominable snowman from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I always thought he was my favorite character in the whole thing. I love him at the end, you know.
And so I went as an adult, for the first time ever, I squeezed that thing and I went, yeah, that works. Inner child loves this. So if you can't find your favorite childhood toy, you know, even something like that that you can squeeze and just pretend that's your inner child, that's very, very effective.
[00:41:58] Speaker C: You guys notice that as we do more inner child work on ourselves, how easy it is to see the inner child and other people.
[00:42:07] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:42:08] Speaker C: When they're.
Yeah. Like you.
[00:42:11] Speaker B: Like.
[00:42:11] Speaker C: I see people's reactions. Sometimes I'll just look at someone even without them doing anything, and I'll see an inner child there, or especially when there's some kind of. Maybe an emotional reaction that they're having. I can. I literally can see people as.
[00:42:23] Speaker D: As children now, or lack thereof, where they're.
It's like, oh, I can see where he or she is neglecting their.
[00:42:31] Speaker A: Because they're getting triggered. They're getting triggered. That's why. Yeah.
[00:42:34] Speaker B: Well, I can also see the wounded inner child in people, too. So, like, when certain emotions or they lash out at you, you're. You're like reading completely, like, yeah, that's definitely a wound you need to heal on. But I mean, obviously you're not gonna give him your energy away. You just let him finish up with what they're doing and be like, okay, yeah, now let's talk.
[00:42:52] Speaker C: We're all just a bunch of children in this world. The playground.
[00:42:56] Speaker A: So I think you're all saying it increases your empathy.
[00:42:59] Speaker B: Yes, it does.
[00:42:59] Speaker C: Oh, totally, yeah.
[00:43:01] Speaker D: And awareness.
[00:43:05] Speaker B: I have a really good question, but I was like, like, yeah. Cuz it's getting there.
So if you could go back and tell your inner child the best words of wisdom to prepare them for the life they're about to have, what would that be?
[00:43:23] Speaker C: The best words of wisdom.
Jeff, why don't you start this one off?
[00:43:27] Speaker B: Yeah, Jeff, let's go on. You first.
I'll start. So that way I was going to say, yeah, let's allow everybody to prepare and gather themselves. So think of what words of wisdom you would like to tell your child. So mine would be don't take life serious.
And I would say don't take everyone else's emotions as they were yours. And it's not your mission to make everyone in the world feel better.
Those will be my words of wisdom.
[00:44:04] Speaker D: I mean, I have so many different points. So it would be failure is your best friend. Don't. Don't be afraid of failure.
The people who are in your life at that time.
It could be temporary. It could treat life like your favorite sitcom, you know, don't take it seriously.
[00:44:28] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Something that's even helped me as an adult, which totally would have helped me as an inner. As a little kid. And some good advice is it's about being angry. Because I had been so full of anger for so many years.
And once I finally realized and learned that anger is a choice and it's something that I was choosing to be.
And even though it feels uncontrolled, controllable in the moment, it's still a choice that I make. So I would tell my. I guess I would tell my. My inner child.
The advice is you, you have a choice. You can choose. You are not stuck in any way. Whoever you are at this moment, you can change at any moment.
So it's kind of. It's not that serious. Nothing is set in stone.
I guess that's what I would tell my inner child.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: Awesome.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: Lola.
[00:45:25] Speaker A: I would probably tell my inner child that you are feeling what your family refuses to feel.
[00:45:41] Speaker B: That was a good one.
[00:45:44] Speaker A: I was like a mom.
[00:45:45] Speaker C: That was a drop. Microphone tracks. Yeah, that's something we were going to talk About. Right.
[00:45:51] Speaker A: Yeah, we still have some time for that.
[00:45:53] Speaker C: Yeah. We were going to talk about the emotions that we dealt with or didn't get to deal with or weren't exposed to or we were exposed to as kids. Right?
[00:46:02] Speaker B: Yep.
So, yeah, let's. Let. Let me rephrase that. So that way it makes more sense for those listening.
So normally we find that growing up, there's one emotion in between particularly that you have to face a lot or saw a lot in others, because, you know, you're. You're sending that energetic thing. So there's one big lesson that we all have. And we were saying if we could ask ourselves, what was that emotion or that big lesson that you have to experience many times and do many layers of healing with in your life as meaning, like, inner child trauma? I guess.
So I'm going to start with myself, for me, was suffering, because I grew up in a culture where they really just thought that suffering will give you so many good things in your life. And then in the Latin world, telenovelas are like, in everyone's household. So it's all about suffering, because if you suffer, you're going to get great things in life.
So victimhood was huge. So I would say, say the one thing that I consistently, constantly have worked on for so long has been suffering.
[00:47:12] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:47:13] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:47:15] Speaker C: Yeah.
I. I would say that the big emotion for me growing up in my household was probably a lack of emotion.
My mother, I think she cried when her father died and she cried when she divorced my dad. And that was really the only time I ever see my mom show any kind of emotion ever. And same with my dad, who is a very, like, spiritual and almost.
He's someone that's worked on himself a lot over the years. But growing up, he was kind of like this very disciplined sage, and he didn't express lots of emotion. Only emotion that went on in my house, I guess I would say, was anger at me because I was always acting up.
So that's really the only emotion that I would probably say that I was consistent.
[00:48:10] Speaker A: Because you were looking for negative attention because you weren't getting regular attention.
[00:48:13] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I wouldn't. I wouldn't necessarily say that I was a difficult child. I had a lot of energy. I was. I was a child. I was an outdoor child that was kept inside. I'll say that I'm a very wild child.
[00:48:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:48:26] Speaker C: And so, yeah, so I got. I got a lot of angry reactions from my parents.
So, yeah, I can see that.
[00:48:41] Speaker D: Kind of hard to think about. I would say numbing I saw numbing a lot. You know, alcoholism, big on both sides. So I saw that where numbing, you know, numbing our feelings also.
And this goes to everyone and as adults, to children. Distractions. We love our distractions, so distract us from having to deal with our emotions has been a big one.
And I learned.
As a child and then into adulthood is that, you know, I followed in my family lineage of drinking at times or, you know, smoking, whatever.
[00:49:27] Speaker C: And.
[00:49:29] Speaker D: I would say to myself, well, I need this to be able to cope or distract myself.
I'll deal with it later. And it wasn't until moving back here, getting into this work, I could hear my guide saying, this is what you came here to do. You need to feel. So just sit in your. As I like to say when I first started, sit in your dirty diaper because you shat your pants. So you have to feel it. And like, why he did it. So I sat in my dirty diaper and I was just like, all right, well, you know, here we are.
Why'd I do it? And I avoided it for so long. Well, now I gotta sit in it. So it was just going through those emotions and. And start one by one, you know, peeling the layers, like, okay, so this is why I felt this way. And it just kind of went back from started in childhood. And I saw a timeline, and it was like these bookmarks. And it's like, okay, I need to go to each bookmark, each little chapter. This. This is what I felt. And this is why. This is what he was trying to teach me.
And this is what I missed.
This is why my family was the way it was. And this is why I'm the black sheep.
I was here to change generational conditioning. The mindset of, you have to be this way and that. Don't say this. Sweep it under the carpet. We don't talk about this because you're going to upset this person. Fuck that.
By going there and smash it. Yes, you are. Make people uncomfortable.
That's. It's the whole point.
[00:51:04] Speaker C: Change.
[00:51:06] Speaker D: And yeah, that's how. That's how I see it now is if something's uncomfortable, don't run from it. Don't look for a way to numb it.
Treat it like.
Another analogy I use, treat it like a fart.
[00:51:20] Speaker B: You know, it comes in.
[00:51:21] Speaker D: Yeah, it stinks at first, and it's not pleasant. But you know what? You shoe it, you waft it.
[00:51:26] Speaker A: It's.
[00:51:26] Speaker D: And eventually it goes away. It's like dealing with an emotion.
[00:51:30] Speaker C: It's like an infection that you need to clean.
[00:51:32] Speaker D: Yeah, you observe it. You know, it gets your attention.
[00:51:35] Speaker C: It doesn't have to be farts either.
[00:51:36] Speaker D: By sound or smell. Sorry, it's mine.
But it, it's gonna pass. And you don't have to allow it to bother you because you can plug your nose or you can leave the room. You know, it's. It's. You just observe it. You don't. You don't wear it.
[00:51:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:51:54] Speaker A: Okay.
Well, that was an interesting analogy and I kind of liked Aaron's way of phrasing it.
[00:52:01] Speaker D: That's my sense of humor.
[00:52:03] Speaker A: No, that's just fine. But I agree with you completely, Jeffrey. Cause I grew up in a similar household and it was a passive aggressive household.
And I was the catalyst.
It's like there's an elephant in the living room. And I'm going to point it out to everybody. Everybody.
Because my mom's favorite words were, what will the neighbors think?
I was like, I don't care what the neighbors think. There's a problem here. And if they hear it, I don't care.
Because my dad was an alcoholic and my mom was checked out. She just emotionally withdrew. So lots of passive aggressiveness. And. And that was my job, just like yours. I think it's like, I'm not. This is stopping now. I was the cycle breaker. So you have to put yourself out there and I guess be a little stinky.
[00:53:00] Speaker D: We all do. It's natural.
[00:53:04] Speaker A: Okay, so we've got a few more minutes about. Only about five minutes. So I would like to talk to Jeffrey about. When somebody comes to you and you recognize they do need inner child work, how do you end up assisting them?
[00:53:17] Speaker D: I think my go to has been.
I tell them a great place to start is if you have a bathtub.
Get in the bathtub. Get your favorite crystals. I recommend rose quartz, amethyst, labadrite, whatever you want. Quartz.
Set it up. Get some candles, water. It's a conduit.
[00:53:42] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:53:43] Speaker D: So I, I find that that's one of the best ways to reach your inner child. And I let them know.
Go in to your heart space and, and feel them out. It could be a corridor, it could be a tunnel, it could be a room. Go into that room.
It's. They're. They're probably in a little dark space or whatever and shine the light in there and ask them, do you want to come with me?
[00:54:11] Speaker B: And.
[00:54:11] Speaker D: And as you said before, you know, you're in a child. She didn't want to go with you. If you got to bring in assistance, imagine, you know, an angel or, or.
[00:54:22] Speaker A: Their grandpa, grandmother, grandpa, you know, someone's.
[00:54:25] Speaker D: Safe that they'll go to and see if they'll come into your arms or sit next to you on the bed and then ask them, you know, do you want to watch a show? What would you like to do?
And then encourage them to join you.
[00:54:44] Speaker A: Speaking of joining us, that was the cat making noise. Okay, that's good advice. And then I want to ask you about breath work, because in breath work, a lot of times afterwards people are saying, oh, I felt my inner child.
How do you feel like you're facilitating people with helping them with their inner children.
[00:54:59] Speaker B: So the breath work session I do, it's half hour long, it's done through zoom, and it's always on a Monday, and it's from 7 to 8pm Pacific time.
I send links on the same day. I do an invite before, and then when they put on, they're going. But the way it helps them is because when you're working on your breath, you're really allowing whatever is ready to be released. Go. And a lot of the times, what's. What we're holding on to is inner child wounds, inner child things. So a lot of the times their inner child comes in or they see their inner child. Because what it is, what I explained to them is anytime you do breath work, you kind of open up more to the experience. So at first, the good thing about breath is kind of like sounds. It just goes through where it needs to because really what is ready to come out will come out. And a lot of the times they get to experience themselves in a whole different way, or they get to become the observers so they can actually release what it's no longer serving them.
So that's how I feel. It really helps them. And it's. And it's an amazing technique. I firmly believe in it.
When I started, it really helped me out. So I definitely recommend to anyone and again, reach out if you would like to participate on the breathwork class.
The next one, funny enough, is this coming Monday. So we'll be with the Full Moon Energy assistant.
So that's very powerful.
[00:56:19] Speaker A: Okay, and then we've got about two minutes. So, Erin, I want to say you must see the inner child come out a lot because people get excited about the crystals. You see the kid come out?
[00:56:29] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:56:30] Speaker A: Even out of a, you know, 56 year old.
[00:56:32] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, there's definitely the type of person when they, they come to the. They come to either the Metaphysical show or to the rock show, and they come to our booth we have a really big booth, and we have an enormous variety of crystals. And they're all charged up. They're ready to go. And people get really amped up and excited, and they. It's like a little. It's like a kid in the candy store sometimes.
[00:56:53] Speaker A: Yes, it is. So you get to see them in their joyful kid mode.
[00:56:56] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:56:57] Speaker D: And adult Toys R Us.
[00:56:58] Speaker A: Okay. Well, I know this was kind of a heavy episode, but I think it was to let people know, of the four people here, we all went through similar things that you probably have gone through, too. And to let you know that it's okay if your little girl or little boy needs a little TLC from time to time, just keep checking in on him or her and realize it's a process and it is ultimately liberating for everyone because it's not just you, it's the people around you.
Any last thoughts?
[00:57:29] Speaker C: Do it. Do the work. You'll feel better.
[00:57:31] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:57:32] Speaker C: I guarantee it. You will feel better.
[00:57:34] Speaker A: Okay. Well, speaking of work, thanks again to Mixed by Bruce for fixing our sound.
Hey, Bruce.
And we'll see you guys next week.
[00:57:44] Speaker B: Thank you for tuning in. And don't forget to share.
[00:57:47] Speaker A: Bye.
[00:57:47] Speaker B: Bye.
