THE SMALL THINGS THAT MATTER MOST

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey, hosted by two fellow travelers who found a soul connection on the path to higher consciousness. Our goal is to help you navigate the choppy waters you're likely to encounter on the spiritual path by sharing our experiences with you each week. Join us as we spill the tea on what it's like to wake up to your authentic self. Well, hello, I am your co host, Lola Singer, and I am with. [00:00:30] Speaker B: Hello, my name is Ameril and today [00:00:33] Speaker A: we have an episode about some of the quieter things on the spiritual path. Some of the things sometimes you might take for granted, huh? [00:00:41] Speaker B: Yes. So the name of our episode today is the Small Things that Matter Most. [00:00:48] Speaker A: Yes. And this is based on a list that we found and we're going to go through the list together. When I saw it, I went, yeah, this is just. This is almost like a practical reminder, isn't it? So. So sometimes we forget on the spiritual journey that it isn't all up in the clouds. [00:01:06] Speaker B: Yes. [00:01:06] Speaker A: You know, the body's part of the spiritual system as well. So we got to talk about, you know, sometimes grounded experiences as well as the lofty ones. Right. Okay, so anything you want to say before we dive in on this? [00:01:21] Speaker B: I just want to say, like one of the things that you just mentioned it, like, sometimes we take the body so for granted that what we don't realize is the last place where all. Everything that we're. When we healed, where it's released from is the body as well. That was an important lesson I learned. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Yeah. And we're here to embody spirit. You know, we're not here to escape the body, as much as many people like to think that we are. [00:01:47] Speaker B: You mean we're not getting picked up by a ufo? [00:01:50] Speaker A: Oh, you might, you might. [00:01:53] Speaker B: We're just joking. But yes, the reason why this, these, these are really. When we went through them, I thought, oh, that would be a good episode. [00:02:04] Speaker A: Okay, so the first part of what we found on our list is the comment that awakening isn't about becoming more spiritual. And we just touched on that, didn't we? The idea is to navigate as a spiritual being within a material body. [00:02:24] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:02:25] Speaker A: Why would we want to be in a material body? [00:02:28] Speaker B: To experience things. [00:02:30] Speaker A: Yes. So that consciousness can experience itself and it can't do it without some kind of sensor. What are our senses? Sensors. So taste, touch, smell, emotions, even the physicality is. It's the highest expression of all. That is, to be honest with you, although I know there'll be a lot of people rolling their eyes at me in the audience when I say that. But that's what Kabbalah teaches, teaches us. I study Kabbalah, that consciousness has no way to experience itself other than mental. [00:03:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:12] Speaker A: So physical is really the goal because now I have more ways to understand myself. And. And then here we are with all these people around us. I have more ways to experience myself through other people as well. [00:03:26] Speaker B: And isn't it so interesting about how we think of these beings? Like any helpers, any spirit guides and stuff? And yes, they're there to help you. However, you're the one having the experience. You're the one that's asking for their help. They're just assisting. But you're the one that decided to step into this Earth mission. So you are so much more powerful than you give yourself credit for. [00:03:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Because my understanding, based on 15 years of esoteric studies, is that the essential masters, yes, they have a place, they have a purpose, but that we are descended masters, so we're actually even more respected because we're taking on the mantle of this tough Earth school. So believe it or not, people in the audience, and I know once again they're going to roll their eyes at me, the ascended masters are actually awed by you. And here we are acting as if we're awed by them. But you had the moxie to come here. [00:04:28] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:04:30] Speaker A: Okay, do you want to read the next one? [00:04:33] Speaker B: So it's about becoming more regulated, more aware and more sovereign. [00:04:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Nervous regulation, body regulation. That is actually one of the things that came to me very late. The understanding that, that regulating our bodies is mastery. [00:04:51] Speaker B: And isn't that so funny? Like, so we live a world where our emotions and our nervous system is like completely shot. And then we don't help it by, like having huge spikes of caffeine, sugars and all like the above. This is before we are aware and start awakening process and start treating ourselves better. And then you get to the point where you realize, like, wait, a regulated nervous system will change my life. What are you talking about? [00:05:21] Speaker A: But we're not taught that in school. School from day one, they want us on the edge because we're easier to control when we're in fear or confusion or as I recently was, mild frustration. Right. So learning nervous system techniques for, you know, breath work, somatic work, and working with your vagus nerve in particular to help your body actually allows more spirit in the body because you're more relaxed to allow. Right. [00:05:58] Speaker B: And I don't want to forget the really important word which is sovereignty. That's sovereign. More sovereign sovereignty has been huge right now being. Playing out for me specifically, because the thing is, like, to me, the question that has been asked is, where do I fall short? Like, if I'm saying I am a sovereign being, what things are holding me still hostage? Like, where am I not fully expressing Me, myself, standing in my power? And when you ask that question, a lot of things are going to come up that they're not going to be pretty to look at. I can assure you of that. Because that's what the things that happen. Our experience is all based on evolution. So growth is evolution. And we get to the point where we're no longer. We just want to have peace and we want to hold on to that sovereignty. And in order to do that, we have to address things we can't just, like, mean. We live the whole life of just shoving things down and shoving things down. So it's time to just be able to see them, but this time see them with different eyes, with more compassionate eyes, with more understanding that it's just an emotion. [00:07:21] Speaker A: Yeah. And sovereignty is being your own authority. [00:07:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:07:24] Speaker A: In case people are not familiar with that. And I want to go back to this word in the same sentence, awareness, because that's something that I have been paying attention to lately with metacognition. So when I'm going down the rabbit hole of, like, saying something like, I'm. This morning in my tarot reading, my focus card was five of cups disappointment. So I was like, oh, I'm. I'm dealing with disappointment. Well, wait, metacognition says I am observing someone dealing with disappointment. And even better, I started realizing, you know, this, this. It's a bi. My body's a biochemical machine. So I said to myself, I'm observing someone in a biochemical machine experiencing disappointment. That's. That's a form of awareness. [00:08:11] Speaker B: Yep. Well, and out of awareness, we're able to observe things without getting consumed into them. To look at everything that's playing out right now, like, if you're. If you don't really expand your awareness, you won't know the difference and you'll be sucked right into. These things are not beneficial to you and they're used against you. [00:08:31] Speaker A: Well, I think you just have to decide where you're placing your awareness. [00:08:34] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:08:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Yep. Okay. So the next thing on our list is the small unseen things shape us more than the big breakthroughs. And, you know, we don't expect that on the spiritual path. We expect epiphanies. [00:08:49] Speaker B: We expect, like, life grounding events or energy work. [00:08:55] Speaker A: But your example of sovereignty, where you asked yourself a question, you know, that led to, to you realizing, aware, am I possibly compromising my sovereignty? You know, that wasn't a, I mean, it was an epiphany, but it wasn't like a life changing thing. It was more of a. Oh, yeah, okay, there it is, there it is, there it is. [00:09:14] Speaker B: You know, to me, it's very interesting because. So for example, I'm, I help assist with doing like a breath work class. And sometimes out of even like doing the breathwork itself. Yeah, that's powerful. But then out of the part where you just really sit with yourself and you're there, you're allowing the information to come in that something is way more powerful, is the silent part that sometimes more powerful than the actual action itself for what you're doing? [00:09:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And with the unseen things that shape us rather than big breakthroughs, I think, I guess what I was trying to say, sometimes it's just a shift in thought pattern, shift in your shifting your emotions, getting through one day so that you have the next day to start [00:10:05] Speaker B: over and then thinking differently. Like, for example, each day is a fresh start. [00:10:10] Speaker A: Right, that's what I was implying. [00:10:12] Speaker B: So whatever, like stress, whatever chaos happened the last day yesterday that doesn't come forward with you the next day unless you choose it to come forward with you. [00:10:22] Speaker A: And I was just thinking about our episode with inner Child work and how our guests and all of us agree, like, you know, just like something from our childhood to think about that gave us joy when we were young. You know, yours is a plush toy. Jeffries was watching his favorite TV shows. You know, those are small, quiet things, but they're actually helping you in big ways. [00:10:48] Speaker B: Yep. [00:10:50] Speaker A: Okay, so do you want to read the next one? [00:10:53] Speaker B: Yes. So the question that asks is, what is the most important parts of your awakening? What if the most important parts of your awakening are the quiet ones? [00:11:06] Speaker A: Well, that's something for the audience to ponder. So the next thing on the list was that self talk creates your internal energetic climate. [00:11:18] Speaker B: Yep. [00:11:19] Speaker A: You don't even have to be woo woo to understand that. That's just basic psychology. When you're calling yourself, you know, an idiot or a doofus. [00:11:28] Speaker B: Yep. Or I always do this wrong. Or just when you're being. [00:11:32] Speaker A: I'll never be able to do it. Exactly. Yeah. [00:11:36] Speaker B: So this brings in a really good thing because I was just reading upon this. Right. So I, I did this meditation and one of the things that was asked in the meditation is, why do people Complain that their goals that they want in life, whether it's like, whatever, man, if they're trying to manifest or whatever things they're trying to move those or experience. Why does it. Like, a lot of the times doesn't work. It's because you get prepped up in the morning and yes, you feel great and stuff. And then you go out into the world, and then in that world, all you do is negative self talk to yourself. Like, I can't do this, or I'm not able, able to do this, or why did I think I could do this? And that negative self talk really changes your frequency. And you can't have a low frequency and expect to be opening those doors for things you actually want to live. [00:12:29] Speaker A: Yeah. And on the spiritual path, I've had a lot of people counteract that by just simply asking, what if? What if it is possible? I mean, that's how light language came through for me for writing. I always did the voices, you know, the vocals. But one day I knew other people could do writing, and I never thought I could. And then one day I went, well, what if I can? [00:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:53] Speaker A: And so I just picked up a pen and started writing, Writing whatever showed up in booklets. And it was spirals for the longest time. And eventually it developed into definite glyphs that are unique to me. Yeah. [00:13:05] Speaker B: Well, and not only that, but I always think of, like, what if you can't really do the full leap? What if you can't really fully go into, like, we're not saying, like, love and light, and you have to be like this light person all the time. But what if you just did neutral to get you started. [00:13:21] Speaker A: Yeah. Or half. Like a half step. [00:13:23] Speaker B: Half step. Because it's like when you're so used to negative self talking for so long, there's no way. It's not realistic to think that you're gonna switch overnight. But what if you start having an awareness that you're doing it? What if you, like, catch yourself and instead of, like, going with that, changing it to right after you say something negative, you say something positive about yourself [00:13:48] Speaker A: that leads to the next thing on our list really well. Do you want to read that? [00:13:54] Speaker B: Motivation is consistent. It's inconsistent. Your inner tone is constant. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Yep. So motivation is inconsistent. [00:14:06] Speaker B: Yep. [00:14:07] Speaker A: And your inner tone is constant. You know, your head, it's because your cells hear it. [00:14:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:13] Speaker A: Your inner tone, they feel it. [00:14:16] Speaker B: Well, and the more your cells hear it, the more they get programmed to think a certain way. [00:14:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And motivation. It is hard to stay motivated when you Have a setback like I had shortly before we recorded this episode, where I was determined to get an answer to something, and I never got it. So. But my motive. Yeah, so your motivations change all the time. Because I was motivated to get an answer no matter what. I couldn't get the answer. So now I'm motivated to do something different. But the inner tone was like, why can't this work? Why can't this work? Why can't this work? [00:14:59] Speaker B: So I. I'll tell you guys a funny motivation moment that I had. So I have told myself I have to keep myself moving. So I have to do some physical thing for 30 minutes each day and maybe miss one. No more than two days a week. Yesterday I had a day where I started earlier than normal, like at 10. And with everything that I was doing, I just didn't have enough time. So I said to myself, after I get off work, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna do something that I'm gonna do physical for 30 minutes. Then my last client was like, oh, can I get. Can I do that? Something different instead? That took way longer. So by that, I was tired, said, why am I being so hard on myself? I literally, like, I work longer. That's physical work. So I'm still moving for longer than 30 minutes. So why do I have to be like. Why can't we see ourselves? And instead of being like machines that we have to do this this way? This has to be. [00:16:00] Speaker A: Because you were telling yourself you failed to do it. [00:16:02] Speaker B: Exactly. And I didn't even think negative of it. And then this morning, I woke up and I did my. What I do every morning because I had the time to. And I felt great, and it was all taken care of. Sometimes we like stress for things that don't really. We don't need to stress over. [00:16:18] Speaker A: Yeah. So the next line I love, and I don't know that we even have to elaborate on it. I'm just going to repeat it twice. Harsh inner dialogue dysregulates the nervous system. I repeat, harsh inner dialogue dysregulates the nervous system. I don't think we need to elaborate on that. [00:16:45] Speaker B: No. [00:16:46] Speaker A: Okay, so would you like to read the next one? [00:16:49] Speaker B: Awakening isn't about pushing. It's about relating differently to yourself. [00:16:57] Speaker A: You know all about pushing. Oh, yes. [00:17:00] Speaker B: And I tried that route quite often to be push, push, push. And I mean, your body will tell you that you're pushing. Obviously, you'll feel exhaustion. But when you start really taking that Time to breathe. Time to just relating differently to yourself. Like, what is it that I've been doing that hasn't worked for me? And what things do I need to change so that it does work for me? Something as simple as that? It's a lot easier said than done. However, that's just the startup of realizing how you can relate to things differently to yourself. [00:17:48] Speaker A: Well, and when you think about awakening and how it says here that it's relating differently to yourself, it really is. It's awareness of you, greater and greater and greater awareness of you and your place within the universe, your place with it in your spiritual body, your place within your physical body. Yeah. I don't know if the microphone's going to pick this up, but it's pouring down rain outside. I doubt it will. But if you hear something, that's what's going on. It is pelting outside. [00:18:21] Speaker B: Yeah, it's raining hard today. [00:18:23] Speaker A: Okay, so the next one. Yep. Your turn. [00:18:27] Speaker B: I believe the voice inside you becomes your inner parent or inner guide. [00:18:34] Speaker A: Oh, that goes to our. Our inner child episode too, doesn't it? [00:18:39] Speaker B: But isn't that so interesting how we can retrain that voice so instead of saying negative things, it can actually say good things for you? [00:18:46] Speaker A: It can nurture us. [00:18:47] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:18:48] Speaker A: And give us guidance. [00:18:50] Speaker B: Yep. [00:18:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Wow. I'm sorry. I guess that was my turn to read that one, not yours. I apologize. [00:18:58] Speaker B: It's fine. [00:18:59] Speaker A: So, yeah, you become your own inner compass. Right. Is what it's saying. Okay. So basically, when you embody source or spirit, your tone shifts from force to compassion. [00:19:12] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:14] Speaker A: So there's some questions to ask yourself. Do you want to. [00:19:19] Speaker B: Yes, the questions. Those are great questions. How do I speak to myself when I fail? That's a big one. [00:19:26] Speaker A: We're our own worst critics. We're so much kinder to other people in the same situation, aren't we? [00:19:32] Speaker B: And then the other one's great. It really speaks to our inner child. Is my inner voice safe? [00:19:40] Speaker A: You know, it's also interesting when you see how people are programmed, because sometimes people think that their own inner voice is a demon. [00:19:49] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:50] Speaker A: And it's like, oh, my gosh, they can't even begin to trust themselves. [00:19:54] Speaker B: That's true. [00:19:55] Speaker A: It's. It's kind of heartbreaking when you. When you hear someone talk about something like that. Okay, so we're moving onward on the list of the things that are kind of quiet that we sometimes don't even recognize are happening. So the people you feel calm around shape your nervous system. [00:20:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:21] Speaker A: And I know we can't always control who we're around in the workplace. But I bet you you've noticed in the workplace there's like one or two people that you feel like you can let your hair down with, you know, and so you want to be around the people who help, help you maintain your calm nervous system, not the ones who cause dysregulation. Right. [00:20:41] Speaker B: Yep. [00:20:43] Speaker A: And we feel, you know, we feel calm with people we can feel authentic with. And that's hard to find sometimes. [00:20:52] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:20:53] Speaker A: Yeah. So I guess the message here is, you know, try to take note when I'm talking to someone, do I feel comfortable, do I feel relaxed, Do I feel like I can actually say what I want to say? And those are the people who are going to help you, you regulate your nervous system. [00:21:07] Speaker B: The core message of this is regulation is contagious. And it truly is. [00:21:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Because it would be a two way street, wouldn't it? Yeah. So co regulation is real. I guess that's the whole point here, you know, because the other person's benefiting from you as much as you're benefiting from him or her. [00:21:30] Speaker B: Yep. And you can, you can feel who your body relaxes around. [00:21:38] Speaker A: That is if you allow yourself to get the inner messages from your body like we talked about earlier. But yeah, you can, you, you can take body cue you. We need to be more aware of what's going on in our body. [00:21:54] Speaker B: Yep. But isn't it like if you look at it as a simple thing like your body will contract when you feel uncomfortable and your body will relax or [00:22:03] Speaker A: expand and your breathing's going to change. Yes. If you're around someone you're nervous about, you're going to have that tight breathing up in the chest. [00:22:11] Speaker B: Not to be confused with someone you actually like and would like to date. Because then normally you get nervous and it's not necessarily because they like have just you get that nervous or that weird thing. And normally that would happen to me when I was younger, but not anymore. [00:22:28] Speaker A: Well, I think people can tell the difference on that. [00:22:30] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:22:31] Speaker A: But most important, like if you're comfortable with someone, you're probably breathing more deeply and probably more from the diaphragm. [00:22:39] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:22:41] Speaker A: Okay. And awakening sharpens sensitivity. Not everyone will feel safe anymore. More. Oh boy, is that a big one. [00:22:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:22:50] Speaker A: Because you, you end up losing people on the spiritual journey. The people who aren't a good match for you anymore. The one that's caused personal dissonance. This is really funny. [00:23:02] Speaker B: I told my friend, I said, cuz we were like hanging out and then this old friend came, happened to just show up. And it wasn't even plan or anything, they just showed up. Well, this old friend is someone I don't really talk to because their frequency is really low after the end, the whole interaction and everything. We're driving home and my friend goes, you know, I mean, everything was okay, but you seem like a little bit, kind of like. I felt like you kind of started putting up like walls a little bit. And I said, well, it wasn't walls. It's just that if what coming out of your mouth is not honest and I can feel it on your frequency, then I'm not gonna trust you. So when I don't trust you, I can't. I'm not gonna give you my full, like, full energy because I'm just like. No, that's. I just, that's what's weird. It's just you develop things with time like that [00:24:01] Speaker A: did. [00:24:01] Speaker B: You don't. It's not just about like feeling safe in general. Like, it's. You'll get that extra sensitivity of this person isn't really being like their frequency's off. Like something's really off about them. [00:24:15] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think the, the main point of this particular comment is do I feel safe with them or do I not feel safe with them at this point? And safety starts with like we talked about earlier. Am I free to even say, say what I want to say to this person, not that it has to be physical danger? Yeah, yeah. Which lead. [00:24:32] Speaker B: I was talking more about trust. Like when you don't. [00:24:34] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that's a good way to phrase it. I should have used the word trust. And that leads perfectly to what the next bullet point is. Here [00:24:46] Speaker B: is it my turn? [00:24:46] Speaker A: Yep. [00:24:47] Speaker B: Outgrowing relationships is part of sovereignty. It really is. And you know, the thing is you outgrow those relationships and then people automatically people, AKA me. What I originally thought is I have to cut off these people like from the root. Well, here's the thing. You can love people from a distance. You can have people that you know you're gonna be able, you're gonna see because you can't get them out of your life. You can see them. It's just how you're. How much energy you're giving to them, how much availability you're putting yourself around them is what really matters. Because you can see them for briefly and then just let them go. [00:25:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, you, you were a self professed people pleaser, so. [00:25:38] Speaker B: Yep. [00:25:38] Speaker A: That is definitely sovereignty for you. When you took authorship of yourself. [00:25:42] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:25:43] Speaker A: You know, when you kind of realize, is this benefiting me or am I being kind of manipulated by people? Yeah. You know, so, oh, the kitty cat's making noises. She just woke up. So sovereignty is taking charge of yourself. So I think this is a very good point, you know, that you start to realize, okay, is it. Is. Is this part. Is it. Is this a person I want in this chapter of my life? [00:26:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:12] Speaker B: And you know, the thing is, you don't have to go around and tell everybody too, like, oh, you're fitting in my chapter, my life, because of this and this and this. You just simply do the most powerful thing you have is you take your energy away from them. [00:26:26] Speaker A: Yeah. And for people pleaser, a good example would be, you know, can you pick me up at the airport? You know, people place are like, oh, yeah, I don't want to, but I will, you know, people. But when you grain sovereignty, you'll be, what? I'm sorry, that doesn't fit into my plans. Yeah. [00:26:42] Speaker B: Or I already made other plans. [00:26:44] Speaker A: Right. [00:26:45] Speaker B: Or please respect my time. [00:26:47] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm also thinking of all you people with pickup trucks. When people want to move, move. [00:26:52] Speaker B: That's another one, too. And you know, even if, like, so, for example, let's say someone reaches out to you as a favor of, hey, would it. Would it be possible for you to help me on this day? Planning ahead of time is one thing. Them calling you, like, I'm moving tomorrow. Can I use your truck? That's a total. Another ball game. [00:27:11] Speaker A: Yeah. So I think these are some classic examples that people can relate to. Yep. Okay, so you're going to be embodying the sense of being calm around people. And so once again, your body knows before your mind does. So trust the subtle cues you're getting from your body about people and then decide your sovereignty around that. So we got a couple more questions to ponder. [00:27:42] Speaker B: So who makes my body exhale? And who makes me brace? [00:27:50] Speaker A: Yeah. So those are. Those are some very good clues. So we'll move on to the next little bits of tidbits here. So recovery matters more than avoidance. Your power isn't in never failing. It is in how you return to yourself. Yes, failure boy. Talk about something. Something that you yourselves hear. Yeah, I failed. I failed. I failed. But one thing, my tarot teacher's hilarious. Eli. And he. One of his sayings is like, I love it. Everything's a failure till it works. [00:28:34] Speaker B: That's true, actually. [00:28:37] Speaker A: Right, right. And you know, a good example, you know, we got to remember when we're looking at toddlers and they're trying to walk and they fall. Do we consider failures? No. They get up and they try again. Right. And I think that's what that's saying. It's. How do I return to myself rather than focus on the failure. [00:28:54] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:28:55] Speaker A: And say, how do I. I center and rebound from this? How do I pivot? [00:29:02] Speaker B: So setbacks are initiations, and they truly are. [00:29:08] Speaker A: Yes. But that's part of the frustrating part of the spiritual journey, I have to admit. I think of this sense of initiation as, okay, prove your mastery. How will you handle this challenge now? Will you. Mastery is balance. Yes. So how will you rebalance after this? We're going to test your. We're going to give you a situation. It's likely to throw you off balance. Now let's test your mastery. How fast can you get yourself back in balance now? For me, it can be instant or it could be weeks. I'm just, you know, I'm just laughing [00:29:48] Speaker B: because I still remember, like, it's like you say something out loud, you say it out to the universe, whatever your belief system is, and then what you'll get is experiences to test that. That always. [00:30:04] Speaker A: Yes. Like, you'll get an epiphany. [00:30:06] Speaker B: So it's like always have to do with sovereignty and stepping into your power. The universe will test you to make sure that you're not just verbally saying that, but that you're actually practicing that too. [00:30:19] Speaker A: Yes, yes. So that. That's part of the spiritual journey, is that there are twists and turns and surprises. And how are you going to handle that? [00:30:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:30] Speaker A: Do you want to read the next one? [00:30:31] Speaker B: Yes. Spiritual ego wants to never regress. That's so funny, because it's true. The ego does not want to be wrong. Does not want to. It's just so interesting. [00:30:49] Speaker A: Well, and saying spiritual ego in particular, so I. I can kind of see that because, like, let's. Let's look at, like one of these twists and turns in life. Right. It's really a challenge to see how we've. How we are mastering. Right. But with a spiritual ego, it would be like, what did I do wrong? And I should be further along than this. That's the ego talking, you know, but even worse is like an outside spiritual ego looking at someone in that situation. [00:31:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:28] Speaker A: And saying something like, you're not high vibe enough. You know, you must have karma to deal with, you know, kind of this. Yeah, the spiritual bypassing. Exactly. But of course, ego never wants to regress ever in any spiritually or in any Other way. Right. Okay, so another bullet point we have here is that true awakening equals faster return to center. Isn't that what we just said? I called it mastery. They're calling it true awakening. [00:32:02] Speaker B: Yep. [00:32:03] Speaker A: Balancing, returning to center. Because when you think about it, when you're returned to center, it's a lot easier to pivot than when you're lopsided. Right. Okay. Would you like to read the next one? [00:32:14] Speaker B: Yep. Repair builds nervous system resilience. [00:32:18] Speaker A: Well, resilience. [00:32:19] Speaker B: Resilience. Sorry, it. [00:32:21] Speaker A: English is the second language, so. Yeah. Makes you stronger. Right. And you bounce back better. More elastic. [00:32:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:28] Speaker A: So repair builds nervous system resilience. Yes, because it gets accustomed to the bounce back. I don't know what more to say about that. Do you have any more? Okay, so there's a suggested reframe with some questions. It's not why did this happen? It's how gently can I come back? [00:32:50] Speaker B: That's a good one. [00:32:51] Speaker A: That puts so much less pressure on your body, doesn't it? How gently can I come back? [00:32:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:02] Speaker A: So once again, the little steps. Right. So we have another bullet point to address. And that confidence is stored evidence. Yep. It really is, isn't it? I've never thought of it that way. But you have like this little file of things that kind of worked, Right. So you build your confidence. I've evidence that I can do this. I have an evidence that, that, that. That the way I'm thinking is contrary to how things actually work, you know. [00:33:33] Speaker B: So also the next thing is small daily habits quietly build confidence. [00:33:40] Speaker A: Oh, yes, I skipped ahead. [00:33:42] Speaker B: That's okay. So the first bullet point is micro promises to yourself. [00:33:51] Speaker A: Which means the small steps, like you talked about, they're the small things like, like, for example, you know, your morning routine. And my morning routine is I get up and while the coffee is brewing, because I'm a girl from Seattle, I have to have coffee. I put on music, I dance around, I do my lymphatics where I get. Get the lymph nodes working by pressing on certain parts of the body while it's brewing. I lay out my tarot cards. I stare at my tarot cards and think about them. And then the coffee's ready. So that's become my morning routine. Rather than get up, grab the phone while I'm. The coffee's brewing. I'm trying to do things that are more productive and it feels really good. And that's a micro promise to myself. It's like, okay, instead, instead of, you know, doom scrolling, I'm going to do this in the morning while it's quiet. And I love it, so. And I think that goes with kind of the half steps you talked about earlier. If it feels like it's too big a leap, you know. Okay, well, what would be one step, step toward that goal? Okay. Do you want to read the next one? [00:35:01] Speaker B: Yep. Daily regulation practices, such as breath, silence, walks. [00:35:07] Speaker A: I think you do all three, don't you? Mm. Yeah. [00:35:12] Speaker B: Those are really good daily regulation practices. Just like Lola said, we all have our different practices. I get up and I start clearing myself, and I ground. I always need to ground in the morning. Then I clear just things. The energy doesn't belong to me. And then I, like, release anything, any cords that are, like, attached to me because I'm like, I don't need those, and I don't need to get my day started with anything that doesn't belong to me. Then I take deep breaths to calm, and then I get into silence. Like, I usually like to meditate and I like to do. I like to do gratitude meditations. But in the gratitude meditations, the breath is really practiced. So, like, it's breathing. It's the silencing and tuning in and listening to yourself. [00:36:00] Speaker A: I think the silence is. Of the three there, that's probably the most important one, because most of us don't do that regularly. [00:36:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:10] Speaker A: Just sit in silence. But. But that's where you get the in touch with your heart and your emotions. You get a mental epiphanies. The silence is very powerful. Yep. Okay. Another thing to ponder is that integrity builds inner trust. So when you're true to yourself and aligned to yourself. Yeah, of course you'll trust yourself more. Right. Okay. Anything you want to add to that one? That one seems pretty straightforward to me. [00:36:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:42] Speaker A: Because when we're out of integrity, we're going to be in a shame spiral or something like that. [00:36:47] Speaker B: Yeah, well, an integrity comes in so many different ways, you guys. It comes in such small things. Yesterday I went to the co op and I got two desserts, One for my husband and one for me. And when he first ring him up due to the total, I realized I'm like, I don't think he rang both of us both treats up. So I go to the cashier and I said, I don't think you rang up both of the treats. And he goes, what do you mean? And I said, yeah, I told you. There was like an apple one and a raspberry one. It was like this little square friddle thingies. And he goes, no, I got it. But the apple one is named differently. It's right here. And I said, oh, okay. I'm just trying to be honest is what I said to him. And he goes, I really appreciate that. And I said, I do believe that honesty is the thing that goes around. If I expect honesty from others, I have to be honest myself too. [00:37:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I stand by that. Okay. Awakening without discipline becomes fantasy. I'm laughing because when you're on the spiritual path, you do see people who are definitely well ensconced in fantasy, and that's okay. That's where they're at. [00:38:01] Speaker B: And I think the fantasy isn't necessarily bad as far as like having freedoms and like whatever, going exploring and freeing yourself. I think that's great. However, for true awakening, there's gotta be discipline too. [00:38:15] Speaker A: Yes. And I think I'm gonna put that, I'm gonna call that discernment. [00:38:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:38:19] Speaker A: Because a lot of people who are airy fairy are not understanding discernment at all. [00:38:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I've seen that too. [00:38:29] Speaker A: I have seen that over and over and over again. And of course, the people who, who are in that I'm referring to don't see that within themselves at all. They're just very free form, very hippie, dippy, you know, very go with the flow. I can do anything I want to do because it was, you know, I'm a, I'm a spiritual being on this planet. It's almost a little too far skewed. So you do need to rein that in a little bit to function in a way that helps you go back to what we talked about earlier, balance and mastery. Because that pendulum swing goes a little too far. And so that's all we're talking about. The discipline is bringing you back to center. So I'm not casting dispersions, even though I use words like airy fairy. That's just me. But really there has to be the discernment to bring, bring you back to center so that you really can master this, this world. [00:39:28] Speaker B: So the spiritual embodiment part of this is sovereignty is built in small, consistent, self honoring acts. [00:39:37] Speaker A: That's a nice term, self honoring. Yeah. And once again, that could just be one small change like we talked about, one change in your morning routine, for example, like we just discussed. [00:39:48] Speaker B: Yep. [00:39:48] Speaker A: Okay, so we're going to encourage you to think about what tiny habit would future you thank you for. [00:39:56] Speaker B: So, yes, that's like. [00:39:58] Speaker A: And the keyword there's tiny even before you go to bed, you know, if you go through a list of the things that you're grateful for that's one tiny thing. [00:40:06] Speaker B: Yep. [00:40:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, so we have another topic to tackle. Do you want to read that one? [00:40:13] Speaker B: Yep. Emotional safety matters more than being impressive. This one's really powerful too. [00:40:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Because your nervous system chooses safety over admiration. I see that on the spiritual path in two ways, because we definitely see the ones who like the attention. Right. But I think most people I know on the spiritual path don't want that extra attention. So I think once again, our nervous system is saying, you know, be comfortable. Be who you are. You don't need the admiration. [00:40:49] Speaker B: This is really interesting because I want to share something that is like. It was really powerful that I realized that, like, it was the wisdom that came and I was like, oh, like, when the light really comes on, sometimes we go so fast in our journey and we go and we forget about certain things and we. We don't see how much growth there is within us. So one of the things that came to me was before, if I stepped into a room with a lot of people, I immediately thought, if people stared at me, it's because they're judging me. Isn't that so crazy? And now, whenever I reach a room, I'm just at peace. I could care less what anybody else thinks because I have no control over that. But I do have control over my own self and being at peace about it and thinking just, this is me presenting myself, just who I am, and you just take it or leave it. But that was powerful for me because I was like, oh, I hadn't even realized that. [00:41:46] Speaker A: Well, yeah, it's because you've become more comfortable with yourself. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still self conscious in certain situations by myself. Like. Like going to a restaurant by myself. I still don't like that, but I'm better. [00:41:58] Speaker B: I sometimes prefer. Prefer that it's only when I'm really going through deep things. It's like either a, I have to have someone really spiritual that I can relate to. Otherwise I just want to have that time to myself. [00:42:09] Speaker A: Okay, I hear you. Now this may be my favorite comment on the whole list. Performing spirituality versus living it. Okay, let's just have a quote, unquote, come to Jesus moment here. You know, and I know everyone in the audience, you have seen, you have seen the performers. [00:42:34] Speaker B: Yes. [00:42:35] Speaker A: They are usually more about outward than inward. So they have to make sure to have the right. I'm. I. I don't want to stereotype, but there's certain outward appearances that are trying to broadcast I'm spiritual. [00:42:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:57] Speaker A: And some. And when you have discernment you can, you can see when it's authentic that somebody's doing that or if it's over the top. Right. [00:43:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:08] Speaker A: It's like I'm gonna layer every cliche on me and walk around so everyone can see how spiritual I am. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about performing. And also that's one of the hard lessons on the spiritual journey. I'm going to be totally honest about it because when you start out, you're open, you're pie eyed, and you assume everybody's here with the same goals and wants to help and move forward. But no, some people, they do the posturing and they have a different agenda. And so you learn that through experience and discernment. And, you know, one of the main agendas make it obvious some people are in it for the money. [00:43:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:48] Speaker A: You know, that's one example. So I do see it. I. I do see performing. Spirituality versus is embodying it well. [00:43:57] Speaker B: So we also see a lot of the spiritual bypassing too, which is not working really on yourself, and then just claiming that you are just made out of light and that's what you are. Which, I mean, in order to connect and tap into that light, you do have to release the layers that are not you. [00:44:16] Speaker A: Which means you have to look at your shadow and. Yeah. And. And admit it exists. [00:44:21] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:44:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. Do you want to read the next one? [00:44:25] Speaker B: So the next one is Trauma bonds versus regulated love. [00:44:29] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. I. Oh, oh. That is. That is just a powerful topic, isn't it? [00:44:36] Speaker B: All right, I'm gonna get really real right now, and I'm gonna definitely say that my husband's and I relationship is this whole rescription to the T. When we first met, it was definitely through a trauma bond. We had had so many lifetimes before together. We're both in a most toxic state. I have not even thought of awakening or working on myself. Neither had he. We were just living the life. We were partying and everything was like, so great and stuff. And then we decide we get along so well, we're gonna get married. And then once you get married, there's no looking away anymore. Like, you're gonna be experiencing yourselves every day, learning what you're about, learning where you're at. And then I decide I'm gonna go on my awakening. [00:45:33] Speaker A: And you were bonded by trauma and you're. Yep. So that. [00:45:36] Speaker B: Hey. But then it became regulated love. Now there's no doubts that I truly love him, that he truly loves me, and that we're moving together. As a team. And yes, of course, there's always going to be things that come up that you need to work on as a couple. But when I see that, I'm like, whoa, that's like my relationship in a nutshell. [00:45:57] Speaker A: Well, I'm glad you gave that example. And I come from a perspective that I have had for years that once again, will probably make me very unpopular with people in the audience. But it goes with this topic. A lot of times people think what is a twin flame relationship is a karmic connection that needs clearing. [00:46:21] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:46:23] Speaker A: And I'm sorry for all you romantics out there, but to me, it's evident. I've seen it too many times. So I think that's also what this statement is inferring here. Yeah. [00:46:35] Speaker B: Well, in a true twin flame, it's meant to rip every single part of your life off that doesn't belong to you. It's not going to be pretty, it's not going to be pleasant, because it's going to have you look at that mirror of the things you haven't been able to look at and get triggered so hard that you have no choice but to heal. [00:46:58] Speaker A: Yeah. So I think a lot of people think twin flame is true. It's romance and infatuation, and when you [00:47:05] Speaker B: heal it, it can turn into that. [00:47:06] Speaker A: But no, no, I'm saying. I'm saying that people have a misperception about what twin flames is. [00:47:11] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. [00:47:12] Speaker A: And. And I don't even fully agree with what you said, so let's move on. Because there's a deeper, esoteric layer. [00:47:20] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, no, and there is. [00:47:22] Speaker A: Okay, so the next one is why we confuse intensity with connection. Isn't that what I just said? Like an infatuation and intensity. It's a karmic thing that needs clearing sometimes, and that doesn't. It's not just twin flame stuff. That's any relationship. Right. [00:47:39] Speaker B: When I. The moment I saw my husband, I thought, like, there's some sort of energy that I'm so connected and so drawn, like, we must be it. This is the guy that I've been waiting for. Little did I know there was, like, so much carbon clearing we needed to do. But that's how it works. It's intense because it hasn't been healed. It's still alive. It's still making you react a certain way. Now, we're not saying if you find a true connection and it's really intense to run away, because overall, it's serving a purpose. [00:48:12] Speaker A: I have done tarot readings where it's very clear. These people are soulmates. Yeah, I mean, I can see that connection in the cards. So it does exist. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but I think more times than not, people confuse that intensity with this must be my soulmate. And once again, this isn't just about twin flames. This particular comment, you know, we confuse intensity with connection. It's just anybody. Yeah, yeah. Because. Oh, yeah. Let's say you have an intense connection with, like, maybe one of your teachers. Right. And so we must have had to have been a teacher in a past lifetime. We make those kind of assumptions. Right. We need to watch those. Yeah. [00:48:55] Speaker B: Well, how about, like, when you have grown up in a. You grew up with having intense emotions be your rate, like, what you saw every single day. So you see intense emotions now as a normal rather than something that it's kind of like needs to be healed. [00:49:14] Speaker A: That's a good point too. Okay, do you want to read the next one? Yep. [00:49:17] Speaker B: True power feels calm, not chaotic. [00:49:21] Speaker A: Why don't you say that a second time? [00:49:23] Speaker B: True power feels calm, not chaotic. [00:49:28] Speaker A: Yep. I don't think we need to elaborate on that, do we? So there's a question for you to ponder in the audience here. Where are you trying to be impressive instead of authentic? Ouch. Especially, you know, like, when. When you're, like, an entrepreneur, like I am, and I have to talk about myself. It's really. I'm. It's really hard. That line between trying to sound impressive and being authentic. And I'm running across that because I. I lean toward authentic, but the marketing strategies try to push me into impressive. Yeah. So I know that. Okay, next category. Would you like to read that one? [00:50:15] Speaker B: Yep. So the stories you repeat about you, your past, shape your future. So that the core message of this is your identity is built through repetition. [00:50:28] Speaker A: Yep. So if you have self talk, like, I've always been this way, that's an example. And trauma identity versus empowered identity. We talked about trauma earlier. Yeah, it's. It's. And. And it's protective. It's protective identity. But your past does affect you that way. Absolutely. [00:50:48] Speaker B: Mm. Retelling from wisdom instead of wound. [00:50:54] Speaker A: Well, wisdom's gained by recognizing our mistakes and learning from them and not repeating them. So that would definitely be different than wound. But the wound motivates you to do that, doesn't it? [00:51:07] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:51:09] Speaker A: So if you want to think about it this way, you can honor your past without living inside of it. So we don't deny the past. We don't deny that certain Things hurt us at a core level in our teenage years, our children, our child years, our adult years. We just don't embody it. We recognize it, but don't try not to embody it. [00:51:35] Speaker B: Yeah. And what I think was just a simple thing is anything that repeats, a pattern that repeats, that constantly keeps repeating in your life is because it hasn't been healed or addressed yet. [00:51:45] Speaker A: Yes, but this does help with what. What is listed on our little tidbits here. Now, you are not your past timeline. You are the awareness witnessing it, which goes back to metacognition again. So when you recognize that I can step back from this and observe it, then you actually have gained your sovereignty. Right? [00:52:15] Speaker B: Yep. Okay, so you want to ask yourself, what story am I ready to retire? [00:52:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And retirement is a noble thing. It's not. You're not trying to kill it or squash it. You're allowing it to retire. [00:52:28] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:52:30] Speaker A: Okay, so the next part is that environment shape you faster than force ever will. And the core message to that is stop trying to force yourself to grow in places that shrink you. All right, do you want to read the first part of that? [00:52:50] Speaker B: Environments includes people, media and spaces. [00:52:56] Speaker A: Yeah. If that's shrinking you, then it. You have free will. You can still be around those people, engage in using that media, be in physical or even emotional spaces that shrink you. But it's going to have an effect. That's what we're saying here. And your nervous system adapts to your surroundings. Which is why I will never walk into a Walmart ever again. I did it once and I swore I will never go back there. Do you want to elaborate on that at all? [00:53:32] Speaker B: Just where you go like your sis. Your nervous system will tell you if you belong there or not. Like if it gets altered, if it all of a sudden you feels like your frequency is completely off. If you feel just overwhelmed, that's. Those are all signs of your nervous system, that is that your surroundings aren't necessarily a match with your frequency. [00:53:53] Speaker A: Right. And that could be the people in the room. Right. The room might be neutral most of the time, which leads to the next one. Sovereignty includes choosing better rooms. Whoa. Yes. So you have free will. You have the option of removing yourself from spaces, places and people that are affecting you in. In your environment. Now that's. Of course that's not always the case. I mean, you know, you've got family, you're in a small space sometimes, like let's say you're living with in laws for. That's the classic example. You know the joke is that you can't get along with your in laws and some that's difficult. So you can't always remove yourself from that situation. But can you remove yourself from the room? Can you excuse yourself to do something different? That's, I think, what they're talking about with sovereignty there. [00:54:48] Speaker B: Yep. [00:54:51] Speaker A: Okay, so we made it through the entire list, didn't we? So there are little things that are empowering, I guess, is the whole point of this particular episode. So we've got a couple minutes here and I'm just kind of looking back on some of the things we talked about here, and I think one of the most important ones is paying attention to your body. Yep. [00:55:20] Speaker B: The last one, One of the things that I, like, wanted to just share that has happened to me, that I, like, really had to learn was your environment. Think of it as you being a plant and it's soil that nourishes you. But if it doesn't nourish you, it's not really going to help you and it's not going to help you grow. The reason why we change into people that we no longer talk to, people that we no longer we stop hanging out with, is because they are no longer growing for themselves. So because of that, we cannot grow with them. That can be a hard lesson sometimes to even practice, and especially when it's a loved one or someone close. But nonetheless, that is a true lesson. [00:56:03] Speaker A: Yes. So since we have a couple minutes, I'm going to just read the things we talked about by title. Okay. Your tone with yourself matters more than motivation. The people you feel calm around shape your nervous system. Recovery matters more than avoidance. Small daily habits build confidence. Emotional safety matters more than being impressive. And stories you repeat about your past shape your future. Environments shape you faster than force ever will. Yeah, okay, on that note, good thing I like you and I like my environment. So we'll be back next week. [00:56:55] Speaker B: Yes. Thank you so much for tuning in. [00:56:58] Speaker A: And as usual, shout out to Mixed by Bruce for for fixing our audio. Thank you. And once again, if you have a podcast or you're a musician, we can hook you up with Bruce and we will see you in a week. [00:57:13] Speaker B: Don't forget to share. [00:57:15] Speaker A: Bye. [00:57:16] Speaker B: Bye.