Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey, hosted by two fellow travelers who found a soul connection on the path to higher consciousness.
Our goal is to help you navigate the choppy waters you're likely to encounter on the spiritual path by sharing our experiences with you each week.
Join us as we spill the tea on what it is like to wake up to your authentic self.
Well, hello, I am Lola Singer and I am with my favorite co host.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: My name is Ameril and my only.
[00:00:34] Speaker A: Co host, hence my favorite.
You can tell we're friends, right?
And I just wanted to welcome everyone to Woo Woo Ville. For those of us who don't know us yet, or maybe it's the first time tuning in, this is a podcast specifically designed to help people on the spiritual journey to make better sense of all the things that are going on and it's based on our personal experiences. So we just wanted to help especially the newbies to the spiritual path, give them perspective on what we found out and that we wished we knew early on.
And you may wonder who I am. Well, I'm Lola Singer and and I have been on the spiritual awakening journey for well over 10 years and as a result it's led me to learning more about myself, purifying myself, feeling better about myself, and I am now helping others as a full time Tarot reader. I am an intuitive artist. I draw spirit guides and I give people messages from their guides.
And I'm also a Reiki energy healer. So just wanted to let you know once you start this awakening, you're likely to go in directions like I did. And Amaral also has some special skills related to the spiritual world, so why don't you tell them about that.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: Hello, my name is Ameril and for those of you that are new there tuning in, I'm a Reiki master.
I'm also in the process of a big shift, so I am a hairstylist. However, I'm kind of like stepping out from from that.
While I do hair though, I do energy healing as well because obviously working on people's head is crown chakra clearing and I do that as well as I am a breathwork facilitator too. I put a class up and that one's for free. For people that would like to experience breath work. It's every two weeks, usually on Mondays and for that I do through Facebook. I'm on Facebook as Amaril Torres and or you can also go into our Facebook page which is welcome to Woo Woo Bill your your next stop in your Spiritual journey.
And there, if you reach out to us, I can give you more specific, specific details. I usually sent the invites through messenger and it's done through Zoom. So I sent the Zoom links there on the day of.
So you're more than welcome to join.
I did that. I do that with the intention of helping as many people as I can.
Let's see in as Lola said, we are doing this podcast to really help others. We never claim to know everything. This is just our experiences and trying to help those during the beginning part, since we were once there and we wish we could have. Like there's just things that sometimes we just kind of space out and if people would have mentioned to us in the very beginning, it would have made more sense. So.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: Or things that we thought we were supposed to expect, like it's all love and light all the time. And that we found out was not quite the story.
The other thing I wanted to mention real quickly is I do a light language drumming circle once a month in Stanwood, Washington, and it's free to attend.
So if anyone's interested in that, I'm also on Facebook and you can go to Light language drumming circle with Lola Singer. That's a Facebook group, and find out more about that if you're interested. So we like to share. And the good news about this podcast is we've discovered that people have been on the spiritual path for a long time, have been also telling it. They've gotten nuggets of information that have been helpful for them too. So we're really gratified. It's for beginners, but we're finding it that people on the path for while are benefiting from it too. So thank you for all you people who have been listening and to anybody who might be new new who got a chance to find out who we are today.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: And we do have a topic that we really want to dive into.
So I'm just.
Amaral came up with the concepts, so I'm just going to let him take it from here. And I'm just. It's going to be a dance. He'll. He'll lead and I'll follow.
[00:05:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
So the, the name of the episode today is the Power within you.
So a lot of times we hear about people talking about inner power and like what we wanted to do is kind of have an episode of what does that consist of?
And I guess more importantly in all aspects of how, where do we stand in our power? How do we stand in our power? How do we give our power away? And what charges us? Because what we're trying to do is to be more balanced. And I feel that when we know more information, we can be more balanced.
[00:05:47] Speaker A: Why is balance so important, my friend?
[00:05:50] Speaker B: Because balance is mastery.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Yes.
People think all love and light is mastery, but denying parts of ourselves, like our dark nature, puts you in imbalance, and balance is actually the key. So when we learn to accept all parts of ourselves, that's when we're all harmonized and we really are standing in our power.
So I just want to put my 2 cents in there on that.
[00:06:15] Speaker B: No, and I think it's great because I can definitely vouch for. I thought before that in order to.
To be okay, you have to reach some sort of perfectionism, which is, it doesn't exist. Exactly. Or like, how about the word normal? Like, it doesn't exist either.
[00:06:35] Speaker A: I've never wanted to be normal, and I never have been normal.
[00:06:40] Speaker B: But even, like, for example, let's switch around. Let's say, like, oh, that's like a normal spiritual person, which. There's no such thing. But when I'm.
[00:06:47] Speaker A: There's a stereotype.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. What I'm saying is just a stereotype, a word used by everyone.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: But.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: But everyone's identification of it, it's their own. So it doesn't really connect with others. So.
But, well, knowing that. Now let's go into the subject a little bit. So a lot of the times, one thing we're unaware of is how do we give give away our inner power without realizing?
So we. I searched this list, and it was really informational. So I was like, lola, I'm so pumped for this. And then what's really funny is she goes, well, my tarot spread. Look at the card that I got that's talking all about, like, standing in power too. I'm like, funny because we think we know things. But all I did is I asked spirit, spirit, what will be the topic that would be beneficial that we could talk about, that would connect with others?
[00:07:40] Speaker A: So backing up. I do a tarot reading every morning that gives me a focused card for the day. And for those who do read tarot, it was the Queen of Wands. So it's all about being confident, knowing who you are, balancing your light and dark, and also not. Not feeding into the ego, which is probably the main reason we hold our power back. Right?
[00:08:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:05] Speaker A: We've been trained also by society to keep ourselves small. And that's the ego as well. Sometimes people think the ego is, like, aggrandized, you know?
You know, who do you think you are. You think you're so big, so special. But now the ego also keeps us hidden and unseen.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: Yep. Because it wants comfort. It wants things that it knows it doesn't want new things, that wants to want you to experience new things.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: Because it equates predictability with safety.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: And it feels threatened more than anything.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Oh boy. Does it all the time. All the time.
Okay, let's just dive in.
[00:08:42] Speaker B: Yep. So.
So again, our ways that we give away our inner power without realizing these are some common ways. 1. Seeking external validation.
Hustling for worthiness.
Constantly seeking approval and validation from others, such as people pleasing or ongoing overboard to gain acceptance.
This hustling for worthiness really aligns with me in so many levels. When before I started my spiritual awakening, one of the things that I was always felt like I was doing is hustling because I looked at it as such a normal thing.
Because in my life that was one of the biggest traumas. In order to feel worthy, it's almost like you have to overwork. You have to prove your worth.
And so later on I learned how to balance this. But this was like a really big one for me.
[00:09:41] Speaker A: Ne can go through these one by one.
[00:09:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:44] Speaker A: Okay, but you, you've got a list first. Okay.
[00:09:47] Speaker B: Yep. And then the second one is allowing.
Allowing self worth to depend on others opinions.
Feeling good about yourself only when others hold you in a high regard or based on external metrics like social media likes.
And the last one in this category says caring too much about what others think, which is letting fear or judgment or criticism prevent action or self expression.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: Okay. The reason I wanted to go back to these one by one is exactly what you were starting to do and talk about how, you know, you've been a people pleaser all your life. So this hustling for worthiness, the first one is something you can tell stories about.
[00:10:35] Speaker B: Oh yeah.
[00:10:36] Speaker A: That could hopefully help the people who are listening.
So yeah, like, like you really overextended yourself for everybody, didn't you?
[00:10:44] Speaker B: Yes. In fact, what was really interesting is my spiritual awakening. I went on a fast track and it started right when Covet hit in the US like our. Like it was 2021, was it? No. 2020. Yeah. So because we got shut down and me being a hairstylist and also at that time I was working as a instructor, we got closed up because we couldn't work with the public.
And at that time my life has gone in such a fast pace that I had completely lost myself along the ways because I realized that Everything I was doing in my life was to cater to others, to cater to my job, to cater to my family, to cater to my husband.
Everything was always someone else got the priority of me.
And it was that time to reflect in Covid again. Turning from something that I guess wasn't so positive to, I mean, so negative. Something more like not, I mean, something that happened that was like more could be seen as negative, I turn into a positive. So I looked deep in that mirror and I asked myself, what is it that I like about myself?
And the answer at that time was nothing. Because I never bothered looking within and finding out who I was. So I had no clue who I was. So I kept giving my power away to circumstances, to people, because I thought that catering to others was such a great noble thing that it would just somehow someway build me up. Which I was totally. I'm not saying that being nice to others or being a giving person is a bad thing, but I'm saying when you're putting everyone ahead of you, that will drain you.
[00:12:37] Speaker A: And the paradoxical part of this is it's empowering to find out you've been disempowered, isn't it? Because at least you can label it now. You know it, it's. It's in your conscious now.
[00:12:48] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: So you can make a change if you want to.
[00:12:52] Speaker B: And I think that our spiritual awakening has to do with that. It has to do with we get brought up in a certain way. In this certain way is a way of letting us know this is how we've been following these programs. And we don't even realize it's a program until you finally starts kind of facing it and realizing, okay, we don't have to follow that because that's not a healthy thing.
But until then, you kind of, kind of keep repeating those circles until you kind of learn them. Because in order to. Once you learn them and once you learn your lesson, you break out of those circles. So I can gladly say I'm no longer there. But at the same time, I think that also going through them is being able to spot them. And when you heal them, you're able to provide that information and help others along the ways. There are struggling with those things as well.
[00:13:47] Speaker A: That's a good point, because I think most of us who are on the spiritual path feel service oriented. But there's a point where, where you need to establish boundaries.
So it's a fine line, isn't it?
[00:14:02] Speaker B: Yes, it's a very fine line.
[00:14:04] Speaker A: Very fine line. Because we do want to Help people, but we also don't want to be drained.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Exactly. So then it brings us to our next one. Number two, avoiding responsibility and personal agency.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: No, no, we need to go back to allowing self worth to depend on others opinions.
Remember, this is one about social media likes.
[00:14:27] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:14:28] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that that's one of the things that I think is salient for a lot of people because having a lot of likes doesn't, doesn't necessarily make you successful.
[00:14:40] Speaker B: Nor does it translate to real life.
[00:14:42] Speaker A: No, no, because especially. Okay, I'm just gonna say it. Instagram, it is the phoniest one of them all, I swear. And if all you want to have is a bunch of likes for showing, showing photos of you in an environment that doesn't even look real, like this perfect house or. You know, you know what, we're in the age of Aquarius, which is about more about being authentic than it is about posturing.
So I think to ride the tide of at least the astrological chart, it's time to step out of the.
Let's try to look better than we actually are.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: Well, and I feel that like social media really focuses on the exterior.
[00:15:31] Speaker A: That's what I guess what I was trying to say very badly.
[00:15:33] Speaker B: Yep.
And one of the things that I realized, so the more you heal, the more you kind of leave people behind. And it's interesting how that process works because I find it that right now, for example, on my social media, I want to be a change. I don't want to be the one dwelling on issues or focus on so much of problems. I want to be a solver. I want to shine my own light so that that way encourages others to do the same.
I noticed that the more I feel like my true self and expressing myself the least, people like say anything because they can't relate because it's like you're going through this process and it can feel lonely sometimes because you're just like. Well, like you don't want to throw the judgment of like I have any expectations of anyone going a certain way because it's your journey and everybody has their own journey to go about it.
But I guess where it really breaks it down is what are you willing to do to really stand in your power? What are you willing to do to have peace on your life? What is it that you need to focus on in order to have happiness?
[00:16:47] Speaker A: Yes. And in this case, what could make you feel good other than having other people give you likes?
You know, and I get it, I get it. We're trained to think that that's success, but I think what you were touching on, you know, just finally allowing yourself to be you is really the greatest success.
And then the next one was caring too much about what others think. And I think I'm guilty of that in that this one says letting fear of judgment or criticism, criticism prevent action or self expression.
I am terrible. Speaking of social media, I am terrible about posting. I will post for like a week or two and then I hermit and hide for a couple months.
And I know it's because of that I, and I was talking to Ameril before the broadcast about how as a child I would try to express things and people never understood what I was trying to tell them. I think because I often, I can't say always often saw things from a different perspective than what we could call the social milieu around me.
So trying to talk about things that I was seeing, perceiving feeling and they weren't has always been a frustrating experience for me.
And I got triggered yesterday about that and it helped me realize like, yeah, that's why I don't go on social media because more times than not in my past experience I'm trying to tell people things from a different perspective and.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: It falls flat when there's that aspect.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Then I always felt like a bad little girl.
[00:18:36] Speaker B: You know, there's that aspect and then there's the other aspect where now whenever you post anything, people will take it personal and go on and post something negative.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: And then the funny thing is that would never say it to you. Your face.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: They fit. It's that buffer zone where they all of a sudden have a lot of moxie.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: Yeah, they say it's, it's the. What is it?
It's behind the, behind the screen courage.
Cuz now people feel like they're free to say whatever they want on social media, but yet when it comes to it, they don't stand up to speak their truth. Like it's not aligned with who they are.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: Anyway. So this is all about external validation. So I just wanted to bring them, address every one of those because I.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: Think they're important, they are important.
And then the number two is avoiding responsibility and personal agency.
So it first starts out with the first bullet point is blaming others or circumstances which is giving away the power to influence and change your life by not taking ownership of your actions.
Second bullet point is complaining, focusing on the negative and relinquishing control to unpleasant events or circumstances.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: You know this blaming others for your circumstances is a big one. I think for most People before they have a spiritual awakening. Because it's always the externals. And I did that too.
It's my mother's fault, it's my father's fault.
[00:20:05] Speaker B: Society.
[00:20:08] Speaker A: It would never be me. I'm a victim of all of this. Yes.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: All right, so let me finish the last two bullet points, and then we'll dive into it.
[00:20:17] Speaker A: I don't. I don't have those on my screen.
[00:20:18] Speaker B: Oh, it's the next thing. Next screen. So then it's being overly passive, which means failing to assert yourself or set boundaries, allowing others to control your life.
[00:20:30] Speaker A: That's my sister.
[00:20:33] Speaker B: Last but not least is lacking clarity on your values, living a life that doesn't align with your core values, potentially leading to. To feeling like a passenger on your own life.
[00:20:44] Speaker A: Whoa. Those really kind of hit home, don't they?
[00:20:47] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:20:48] Speaker A: Avoiding responsibility. I'm good at that when it comes to mundane things like. Like house cleaning or paperwork. So I get that, you know, it doesn't have to be big and spiritual. You know, it's just sometimes you read something, you go, oh, that's me.
[00:21:06] Speaker B: So the first one, for example, I'm blaming others or sympathies, circumstances.
This is what's happening in the world, like, right now. There's like this division and conquer being played out. It's like, oh, if you're not, like, it's the other political party's fault, and that's a blame or blame it on someone as like, oh, they're the one that's causing this and causing that. Because in your interior world, what lives there is what you're planting, what you're feeding, what you're giving life to. And I think that that's. That's part of, like, why I thought this episode was so important, is because we need to empower ourselves and realize truly where our power lies. Instead of thinking that we have no power, that everything outside of us is controlling us, and everything outside of us dictates our mood, how we supposed to feel about the world, how we supposed to treat others.
And that's why, man, when I. When I.
When I was guided for.
Because I asked spirit, like, what should we do, man? When this came up, I was like, yes, this so needs to be addressed.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: Yes, because the power comes from the recognition that we have the ability to choose how we react to all these external situations.
[00:22:25] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:22:26] Speaker A: And that is major. And that is kind of daunting because who wants that responsibility at first? But then when you realize, oh, okay, I can either let me let it go down.
An emotional Rabbit hole that's going to be painful. Or I can choose joy in this moment and go a different route, for example. So we have that power within us to always choose. We elect, however, are going to react to something.
[00:22:59] Speaker B: Exactly. The next one is really happening right now. Next bullet point is complaining. Focuses on focusing on the negative and relinquishing control to unpleasant events or circumstances.
[00:23:14] Speaker A: Yeah, well, okay. What do you want to say about that? Because it's so obvious.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: That's kind of the world in a nutshell.
So I get. We get the fact that when we're frustrated, obviously the first thing that comes is like, we want to let it out. So that in a way it's kind of like complaining, but at the same time is like, how about we use we instead of complaining? It's expressing. So what is it truly bothering you about it? Like, for me, what I like to do is I like to write down. When I'm really overwhelmed with things, I write them down because it makes me hold accountable and see my thoughts where they're at and then see how important it really is and whether it's something I'm trying to control, whether something that I have an attachment that I expected to be a certain way, or if it's something just that me, myself. I'm overreacting because it's clearly aligning with something. Like it's triggering me because there's. It's a certain emotion that's being brought out now. That's the. The differences about complaining. Like, I don't complain. I more like like to become a solution.
And I think that right now the complaining is really being praised. And that's why.
[00:24:29] Speaker A: Yes, because that's. That goes hand in hand with the divide and conquer. The more more we're complaining about something, the less we're seeing the alternatives. So they want us to be focusing on the negative. They want us to be focusing on things that feel like they're out of our control and unpleasant.
And that's another warning that we keep telling people. Why are you watching the news? There is nothing on the news that's positive. Absolutely nothing. All they're doing is trying to focus you on the negative so that you do feel powerless, but you are empowered. You cannot watch the news.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Exactly. Or tune into that chaos outside of you.
The next bullet point is being overly passive, failing to assert yourself or set boundaries, allowing others to control your life.
That one really aligns with in general. Just.
I mean, we all came in to have our own journey.
You don't. Especially when the influences and who's dictating to you or telling you how you need to act, how you need to respond to things. If it's not something that's really aligned with you, it's not really aligned with your heart space, why are you choosing to follow that?
[00:25:47] Speaker A: And I mentioned earlier, this sounds like my sister, not as an adult. This sounds like my sister as a young woman, a young teenager and child trying to cope with my family because she would seclude herself and she was quiet and she didn't make any waves and, you know, don't notice me. I'll just do whatever you want to do to make things as peaceful as possible.
And that backfired on her because at the age of 14, she had an ulcer.
[00:26:16] Speaker B: Jeez. Yeah, that's a lot of trapped emotions.
[00:26:20] Speaker A: Exactly. But she was. She took the passive role on so much. She was like the ostrich hiding in her room. And obviously things. There was a lot of turmoil inside, a lot of things she wanted to say and boundaries that she wanted to establish, but she failed to do it.
And yes, I understand at the age of 14, we have very few options.
[00:26:41] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:26:42] Speaker A: Because number one, we're not fully mature yet, even in our minds.
But number two, you know, we're dependent on our parents, so.
But she was. When you read. When you read that, I was thinking of her as a young girl because she didn't know how to set boundaries and she didn't know how to talk to our parents. You know, and I didn't either. I took the opposite route where I was vocal, but she was passive.
[00:27:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:12] Speaker A: And being passive, it. It's going to take a toll. That's probably why so many people have anxiety attacks.
[00:27:17] Speaker B: Exactly. You know, then our next bullet point is lacking clarity on your values, living a life that doesn't align with your. With your core values, potentially leading to feeling like a passenger on your own life.
I know that one.
[00:27:34] Speaker A: Well, I think that's the catalyst for change, though, for most spiritual people when they finally get to the point where go, why am I doing this every day, going to this job I hate with people I don't respect, and all I'm doing is living for the weekend. And then the weekend goes by and the same thing again and again.
Yeah. So we do shift our values and. Because when we get to the point where we recognize where something. It isn't working anymore, it isn't. I've been told this is the American dream. It is a nightmare for me.
So something's got to change. And I think that's when a lot of people get that epiphany. There's more to life than this.
[00:28:13] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:28:14] Speaker A: So that's actually not necessarily a bad thing, but it's terrible while you're living through it.
[00:28:20] Speaker B: It's a great thing if you are more clear about your values and your worth and you're following that. So this is good. But when you lack clarity, meaning when you go the opposite of that is when you get confused and you don't know really where you're heading and you feel like you're stagnant and you feel like there's like you're not really moving in the right direction that you would like to move.
[00:28:43] Speaker A: But the good news there is it does talk about your core values. So this is someone who knows what their core values are. And if they feel like they're compromising their core values, that is a catalyst for change.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: That is true.
[00:28:56] Speaker A: So yes, it feels like you're in a quagmire while you're going through it. But I'm actually looking at these words and thinking, well, this is how you get out of it. This is how you empower yourself. You look at your core values and say, if it's not fitting, why am I doing it?
So I can see where that could. It feels disempowering, but it could lead to empowerment.
[00:29:19] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
And then number three is internal barriers.
First bullet point is not believing in yourself, underestimating your abilities and limiting your potential.
Another bullet point is letting your inner critic take charge, allowing self doubt and negativity to drive decisions and hold you back.
The other bullet point is avoiding difficult things, especially when there is the most to gain from overcoming challenges.
And the last bullet point on this category is fear of the unknown. Allowing fear to paralyze you in decisions or keep you stuck in your comfort zone.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: So internal barriers. So this is all on you.
[00:30:10] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:30:11] Speaker A: Not believing in yourself, underestimating your abilities and limiting your potential. I have imposter syndrome. All my life, I was always like, almost a straight A student.
I graduated from the University of Washington with honors. I was Phi Beta Kappa and I thought that was the biggest joke in the world. It's like I really fooled those people at the uw, didn't I?
So I know this. Not believing in yourself.
[00:30:37] Speaker B: Oh, yes. You know, I think we all do because we get broken down into so many, like, ways of not seeing ourselves with clarity and with the eyes of like, loving ourselves. Because I think that that where it comes from, it's our lack of inner love towards ourselves and Support growing up.
[00:30:57] Speaker A: Lack of support.
[00:30:58] Speaker B: Lack of support, yeah, definitely.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: But, yeah, this is a core wounding that other people you see will see you completely differently. Like, look at me. I mean, apparently, you know, my. The grad students I worked with and the professors thought I was worthy of getting high grades, and I was like, whoa, what a joke.
So it was all me. I had to learn to change that. Yeah, I was in my twenties.
And then. Letting your inner critic take charge. We all do that. Oh, yeah, that's our ego. That's our ego. You're not good enough to do that. What makes you think you can do that?
Or your. Your ego probably early on was like, how come we're not moving fast enough?
[00:31:43] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:31:44] Speaker A: Because I know how you operate.
[00:31:46] Speaker B: Well. And the.
That inner critic is so interesting to realize because somebody said these things and really dawn on me because it made me see things differently.
So if you're hearing a voice that's commenting, it's not you.
So the initial voice is never you. Your actions. Following that voice is you.
So when you hear that criticism, especially when it's not nice, it's not source, it's not your spirit team, is your ego.
So you do get that time to be able to stay, step back and realize, huh?
Even though it does feel like me, like it's genuinely talking about me, obviously it's in my head, but is it truly me? And do I really have another option? And the answer is yes, you have the option not to listen to it. Because again, sort out your ideas, journal, let it out.
There's so many ways to do that too. Like, sometimes we just need to, like, breath work is amazing for that meditation going out. Like, just realize that sometimes that inner dialogue, when it's not positive, in which we need to, obviously we can't suppress it, but allow it to come in. But then realize that's not who you are.
[00:33:11] Speaker A: And I think you brought up a good point, because I was thinking about spirit guides.
Spirit guides. Because I do drawings with spirit guides, and I hear their messages and that they are never negative.
[00:33:23] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: They're always encouraging you. They see what you. You see as pitfalls, and they try to help you through that. Now, that said, you might have a teacher who has an approach that feels like it's like, you know, they're pushing you a little bit. But a good teacher does that. Right. Or, you know, which is different than, like a motherly figure coming through, you know, who would. Who would be very gentle with you. But I love. My best teachers, were the ones who pushed me yeah, so. But it's never negative. It's never negative.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: And I think that's the difference between it's pushing you or like, for example, with me, my spirit guides are always like, are you sure you want to do that? But I still get my free will.
[00:34:05] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:34:05] Speaker B: So it's like whenever there's a thought that doesn't give you that free will and it's straight up just bringing you down, that is not.
[00:34:14] Speaker A: It's gonna probably be your ego.
[00:34:16] Speaker B: It's your ego.
[00:34:19] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Okay. And avoiding difficult things. Well, I am so guilty of that. That's, that's. I, I, I, I could write you the guidebook on that one.
Especially if there's more to gain from overcoming challenges. Yeah, but my challenges. I, I really want to share what I've learned on social media. Yet I don't do it because it's difficult for me. I haven't learned how to edit yet. I've known I need to learn it for a while. There's tutorials about that. I've been ignoring them.
So this is the one holding me back right now. And I'm gonna honestly tell you it is okay.
And I think that's good. Like we talked about earlier in the episode, once you're consciously aware of it, you can work on it.
[00:34:59] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:35:00] Speaker A: So that's empowering in and of itself for me to say, aha. That is the situation I'm in at the moment.
[00:35:07] Speaker B: And the other bullet point is fear of the unknown. Allowing fear to paralyze you in indecision or keeping you stuck in a comfort zone.
This was big for me, like, especially growing up when I was younger, because anything that I was fearful of. And let's translate fear to unknown, really, because I feel like fear is a little more, like, on the negative, like, aspect of seeing things. But the unknown, I was fearful because it was like, all new ground, new steps to take into an unknown thing. But then it's funny because once I started really working with this, I realized, like, well, I'm already miserable. Why do I have to lose?
[00:35:50] Speaker A: And I mean, that could be taken both ways.
[00:35:52] Speaker B: Yeah. But at the same time, what I was thinking is more of, like, having that extra seed planting of.
I'm hopeful because I know that life is going to get better.
[00:36:02] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:36:02] Speaker B: So then that made a change because then now we're planting ways of thinking and ways of looking at life in a positive way rather than, oh, it's all, like, bad. It's all going to lead me to.
And sometimes I have to like, not that I correct them or stuff, but sometimes when I'm with, like, friends that are working on themselves and they're going through their own journey or. But then all of a sudden they felt things as like, well, life is shitty anyways. And I'm thinking, like, can we not state comments? Like, they generalize everyone? Because my life doesn't feel that way.
But it's a learning thing, and I.
[00:36:42] Speaker A: But it once did. So you can at least empathize with.
[00:36:44] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah. And I just. All that. I.
All that, really, it comes down to me when I hear that it's more like, you know, like, I. Obviously, I don't want to have control or tell you what to do or anything, but I'm just thinking, like, things would really change if you started, like, voicing out more positive comments for yourself.
Because it all starts with us.
[00:37:07] Speaker A: Well, and going back to the concept of fear of the unknown. That's the ego again.
And the ego is going to definitely act up when it can't perceive something that's going to be stable.
Right.
And the. But the. But then the irony is there's only one constant, and it's change.
[00:37:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:29] Speaker A: So if we live in a. In a fear of change, we're. That means we're in a constant change.
That means we're constantly in fear.
[00:37:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:40] Speaker A: And who wants that?
[00:37:41] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:37:43] Speaker A: So we have to learn that. Yeah. If change is the. Even your rational mind can work with that one. If change is the only constant, is it easier for me to be in fear of that change? Or is it easier for me to accept that change is the only constant?
[00:38:00] Speaker B: Exactly. And the biggest giveaway would be what drains you and what makes you feel at least stable, like, emotionally wise for you to start practicing, that is.
[00:38:11] Speaker A: But I understand this feeling like you don't know which way to move. You know, the indecision that that causes.
So.
Yeah.
But you can empower yourself by recognizing just that change is the only constant.
[00:38:25] Speaker B: Yep. And then number four is poor boundaries and self care, which includes. First bullet point is tolerating toxic relationship ships, staying in relationships that drain your energy or bring the worst in you.
Other bullet point, not speaking up for yourself, allowing disrespectful behavior or injustices to go unchallenged.
Other bullet point is sacrificing too much for others, neglecting your own needs and boundaries to please others. And last bullet point is treating peace like a luxury, believing that peace must be earned, and it's only possible when external circumstances are ideal.
Ooh, that's a Heavy one.
[00:39:09] Speaker A: Well, I think a lot of people in the audience understand tolerating toxic relationships because some of them are in our own family and we grew up with them. And there's not much you can do. Like we talked about being children, but once you're an adult, you do, if you need to, you have the ability to step away from those relationships.
[00:39:31] Speaker B: I'm gonna go ahead and say that, and I agree with you, because it's like one little step at a time. But I am going to go bluntly and say you must exit out people that are very toxic in your life, because that's the only way you can. Really. Because keep in mind, these toxic people are constantly saying negative things.
And yes, it's one step at a time. So I get like, you have to start distancing yourself. That's the first step. But eventually understand that your growth will also push them out. So that's unavoidable.
[00:40:10] Speaker A: Yeah. So sometimes they naturally move away as you're changing and you're raising your vibration and on the spiritual journey.
It reminds me of one time, I think I did a tarot reading for someone where she was asking about a spouse or a family member, and she looked me in the eyes and said, what can you do when you're in a relationship with a narcissist to help them? And I looked her straight in the eye, said nothing.
Yeah, you can't.
[00:40:38] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:40:38] Speaker A: And that's really hard to hear.
Really. The option is to leave if you can.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:44] Speaker A: Because. And I was saying that with dead earnest. There is nothing, nothing you can do to change a narcissist.
[00:40:51] Speaker B: Because the change doesn't have to be with others. It has to be within yourself. You need to choose you.
That's really.
[00:40:57] Speaker A: The narcissist is not going to choose to change.
[00:41:00] Speaker B: Exactly. Because that. They're going through a whole learning thing.
I've discovered that because, I mean, it's not like I've gone through, like, major divorces or whatever, but I have gone through major relationship breakups. And on these relationship breakups, I saw that pattern of, like, me dating narcissists.
And when I started, holding myself accountable was a part of, okay, what am I doing that is giving that I'm attracting this person, and how am I giving my power away and attracting these kind of people. So it's about realizing your relationships, going over them and changing that so that you can learn your lesson and move on. But it does take a while.
[00:41:38] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that in the spiritual path, people want to fix other people Exactly. Because they fix themselves. They think they can fix others. Yeah.
[00:41:46] Speaker B: And that's just the bottom point. You can't choose. You can't fix anyone else but yourself.
Like, you're working on you, you're healing yourself. Others have that choice too. And just think about putting yourself in their shoes. Would you like it if somebody told you, no, you have to change this about you? Like, we choose to be in a better spot by choosing distance or choosing to let go of those that don't no longer connect with us. But that doesn't mean that we're going to have how we say things go. And it's not an easy road, but it is a road that needs to be taken.
The next one is not speaking up for yourself.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I think that's a hard one for a lot of people. And, and that's what got me tripped up lately, is thinking about how many times I did speak up for myself and the consequences fell flat. So if you have that happen enough times, it's, it's hard to speak up for yourself.
[00:42:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I just, I just think to this point, especially with friendships that I have, because I have different friendships and older friendships, to me, there's things like, I'll speak up for myself. Like, for example, if I say no, expect that note to be respected. If it's not respected, then it's, I take space or I will just definitely go on my own. Because it doesn't matter what they say. Like, I know that I have said no, so I'm going to stick to what I have said.
Now, that being said, I was not always there. And I do want to say that sometimes it takes the little things, like little steps to get there, but eventually we all need to get there just for the sake of being more at peace with ourselves.
[00:43:17] Speaker A: Yeah. And when you do start speaking up for yourself, it can be just with benevolent boundaries. It doesn't have to be out anger or frustration.
It's kind of like, okay, sorry, that doesn't work for me anymore.
It's hard at first, but I know you've done it and it's really been helpful with as part of your spiritual growth to have those boundaries so you, you can get your power back in that situation.
[00:43:44] Speaker B: And next is sacrificing too much for others, which we kind of talked about.
[00:43:49] Speaker A: That a lot, especially those healers. Oh my goodness. Doctors, nurses, energy healers. They all have that need to, you know, heal. And then they, they some type of time slit. I've seen it. You know, they, they, they have so much heart that they're. They're. They don't. They don't create the boundaries.
[00:44:10] Speaker B: Yep. The next one is the one that I really fell for because of my programming growing up, was treating peace like a luxury, believing that peace must be earned. And it's not possible when external circumstances are ideal.
[00:44:24] Speaker A: Only when.
[00:44:25] Speaker B: Yeah, external circumstances only possible. Yeah, when external. Sorry.
[00:44:30] Speaker A: You know, and that's what we were talking about earlier. You can have peace in the midst of chaos.
You know, like a monk.
My tarot teacher remembers lifetimes as a monk in Tibet, and they would send him to the railroad track to meditate, because if you can stay calm when a train is going inches away from you, that was how to stay balanced and master yourself. So the challenge was set up that way specifically. But you can use that as a metaphor for the other things that are like chaos around us.
[00:45:03] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:45:05] Speaker A: Okay. So, yeah, I think a lot of us think peace is a luxury. Yeah, I think we think it's.
[00:45:11] Speaker B: So.
[00:45:11] Speaker A: It only lasts so long. It's temporary.
But really peace is how, once again, when you look at the internals, it's. How are you reacting to your environment? That's why I brought up the mug example.
[00:45:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, and the thing is, we're brought up here to hold space for others. Like, holding space means you have to master those parts of you that were triggering you once upon a time so you can hold space for others.
[00:45:36] Speaker A: Okay, so we're going through this list here.
[00:45:40] Speaker B: We just have one more to touch on this. So I think we can do it.
[00:45:42] Speaker A: Okay. I just want to make sure time we can.
[00:45:45] Speaker B: So the last number five is external influences. So being manipulated, allowing others to control your thoughts, tactics like threads, guilt trips, or flattery.
And the last bullet point is chasing external heights, seeking validation or relief through temporary fixes like scrolling, consuming, or impulsive purchases.
[00:46:06] Speaker A: It's interesting. They said consuming. That's code word for addiction, isn't it?
[00:46:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:46:13] Speaker A: Okay. So being manipulated. Well, we've all been manipulated, I think, because a lot of us have. We talked. I'm going to talk about heart again. You know, a lot of us on the spiritual path have big hearts, and sometimes we don't see how people manipulate us.
[00:46:25] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:46:27] Speaker A: But then.
But something like threats or guilt trips, I think that we.
We can recognize those. But flattery, I think that one fools us a lot, doesn't it?
[00:46:40] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's like the flattery of, like doing the opposite in order for you to do what they want. So it's just interesting. It's kind of a form of manipulation, for sure.
It's a tough one because I was very manipulated because I thought like, oh, the more good I do and the more I'm there for others, it's going to be great. And the more rewards I'm going to get. Well, here's the thing about how we function in connection. Once we realize how energy works, you are the beginning of everything. Meaning how you treat yourself is how the universe starts treating you.
[00:47:17] Speaker A: By law of attraction.
[00:47:18] Speaker B: Yeah, by law of attraction. So that means the more you put yourself last, the more the universe puts yourself last because you're not prioritizing yourself. So.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: But I think there's a point where guilt trips don't work on you anymore.
[00:47:32] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:47:33] Speaker A: When you're on the spiritual path, or at least you see them for the pitfall they are.
[00:47:37] Speaker B: Well, that. And also, as you build discernment, discernment, you can really feel when something is not right.
[00:47:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And yeah, flattery too. You can see through that.
Okay. So chasing external highs, seeking validation through temporary fixes.
I think that's part of the, you know, when you realize you've been doing that to excess as part of that catalyst to change.
[00:48:02] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:48:03] Speaker A: That we talked about earlier.
So we've just got a few minutes. We talked about. About some of the things to be aware of.
Okay. Once these things are in your conscious, you can make choices.
So we wanted to talk about too, in the last few minutes. How can you. Once you're aware of things you want to change, because you're recognizing these patterns. What are some of the things that you can actually do?
[00:48:26] Speaker B: Yep. So the first one is positive self talk and affirmations.
So first bullet point is challenge negative thoughts. Replace negative self talk with positive affirmations and focus on your strengths and accomplishments.
[00:48:40] Speaker A: Yes, Strengths and accomplishments. I am so wanting to let the new people know this.
So let's say like the last one, we were talking about potential addictions. Right. So let's say you've been drinking to excess. Okay. No judgment on that. But you don't. What you don't want to say in your affirmation is I am not an alcoholic.
Because then you're focusing on alcoholic.
Okay. That's where your energy is going. You're picturing an alcoholic.
So that's what the energy hears and says. Oh, it's a vibration match to this concept of alcoholic. And that's exactly the opposite of what you're trying to do. So what you want to say is something like, I am leading a new life where I feel empowered to make wiser choices for myself.
Something like that. So you don't want to focus on the negative. You don't want to say I'm not this in your affirmations. You want to say what you actually are are focusing on. That's positive.
[00:49:40] Speaker B: Yep. Which, that is the second bullet point which is use positive affirmations. Create a repeat positive statements about yourself and your abilities.
[00:49:48] Speaker A: Yeah, but I think most of us sit there and go, I'm not a loser. You know, I am. I am not scared. I am. That doesn't work.
[00:49:55] Speaker B: Yeah, you have to feel them in order to be effective. So maybe go to a neutral point before you go to a full jump.
Number two is setting and achieving goals.
Setting. Set. First bullet point is set realistic goals. Break down larger goals into smaller management steps to build momentum and confidence.
[00:50:17] Speaker A: Yes, I agree with that. So wholeheartedly. You don't have to make the big leap to something that does. It doesn't feel like it's tangible.
[00:50:24] Speaker B: And this one is celebrate your wins. Acknowledge and celebrate both big and small achievements to reinforce positive self belief.
[00:50:32] Speaker A: You know, I think we're trained not to do that.
[00:50:35] Speaker B: Exactly. That's like going completely against what we're trained.
[00:50:38] Speaker A: But it doesn't have to be like a big party or anything but. But that's the time to say oh, I deserve a little treat, you know, so yeah, I haven't, you know, like for me it'd be like oh, let's go thrift store shopping or something. You know, it's like we haven't done that for a while. Whatever it might be for you.
[00:50:55] Speaker B: Exactly. Like pretty much just. It's the, it's those steps, taking the words. A place where you feel more confident. Like by celebrating your wins you get to the point where you acknowledge the good things that you're doing for yourself. So it's just the change in habits and the change in mental way of looking at it.
Next one we kind of address which is number three, self care and mindfulness. Prioritize self care. Engage in activities that nurture your physical and mental well being such as exercise, healthy eating and relaxation techniques. And next bullet points is practice mindfulness. Cultivate awareness of your thoughts and feelings without judgment which can reduce stress and increase self compassion.
[00:51:41] Speaker A: And if anyone's new to the concept of mindfulness, you can go online and become familiar with very simple techniques.
It kind of gets you out of your head and focusing on what you and the environment.
So mindfulness for example, there's such a thing as mindfulness eating where you take a bite of your food instead of just gulping it down, you sit in the moment, you go, oh, what's the texture like? Let's say you're eating a salad. Oats punch, partly crunchy. Oh, there's a soft part. You know, I enjoy that. This crunching noise.
Oh, this. I can taste this in this forkful. Something a little different in this forkful. That's what mindfulness is. It's just a way for you to get out of your head and more into the now moment.
[00:52:26] Speaker B: Exactly. Number four is developing a growth mindset.
First bullet point is embrace learning. Seek out new knowledge and skills to expand your abilities.
Challenge yourself. And the next bullet point is view challenges as opportunities. Instead of being discouraged by setbacks, set them as opportunities for growth and learning.
[00:52:48] Speaker A: Okay, well, I think you and I both were on the avid, you know, with spiritual growth, you know, read the books, do this. So, yeah, there'll be a point point, I think, for everyone who's new where they're. Where they'll want to gather more information like that.
And then what was the other one.
[00:53:04] Speaker B: Was view challenges as opportunities.
[00:53:07] Speaker A: Yes. Now, one of the tarot cards is the 9 of disks, or pentacles, which in my deck is called gain. And I always have to remind people that gain is two steps forward and one step back. And we constantly looking at that one step back and forgetting we're actually one step ahead, aren't we?
[00:53:26] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:53:27] Speaker A: So it's.
You're more ahead of the game than you probably give yourself credit for.
[00:53:33] Speaker B: And then number five is building supportive relationships. First bullet point is surround yourself with positive people. Seek out relationships with individuals who uplift and support you.
Next bullet point is connect with others, Engage in meaningful interactions, and build a strong community of support.
[00:53:52] Speaker A: Well, there was a time when I didn't feel like I had much support. And I think when you started the spiritual path, you didn't feel like you had much support.
[00:53:58] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:53:59] Speaker A: But look at what. Guess what, guys? We're friends now. Somehow we found each other.
[00:54:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:54:04] Speaker A: So.
And we were lucky because we were able to go to a spiritual store in our community. And also we went to a reiki circle where we bonded more with Samantha's reiki circle.
So there are opportunities out there.
[00:54:24] Speaker B: I think that when we set ourselves like, for example, if you're really sincere with yourself and say, source or spirit guides or spirit, align me with people that are really going to build me up, people that are going to understand me, and that's how you find your tribe.
[00:54:38] Speaker A: And it may take time, so just be Kind to yourself in the meantime. And it also could be online.
There are groups of people, those who do spiritual mentoring.
They or they have podcasts or things like that. You may find an affinity for that. And then just by commenting, you might make a friend in the comments, you know, who goes, oh, wow, you're thinking like, me, too. So don't discount it, because you know that that can. I've seen some beautiful friendships build that way. I used to be a moderator for a Facebook group for Light Language, and I could see that certain people were coming together and, you know, really supporting one another.
[00:55:20] Speaker B: Yep. And the last one, which is number six, taking action and assertiveness. So first bullet puts, take action. Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take small steps so your goal. There's never a perfect moment. And last, be assertive. Communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully.
[00:55:38] Speaker A: Respectfully is the key part there. Because people are not going to respect you if you don't respect them.
[00:55:43] Speaker B: Exactly.
And see, we just.
We feel that this is, like, a great episode because we're in the moment where it's like, without realizing, we're giving our power away or we're thinking something outside of us is, like, more important than us. So it's time to take our power back. It's time to say, I deserve this peace. I deserve this happiness. And nothing outside of me should be determining how I should be feeling. I should be more into.
[00:56:15] Speaker A: Yeah. By law of attraction, I should be working up on what is harmonizing for me. And that brings more harmony into your external world. Sorry, I didn't mean to talk over you. I got excited about what you were saying. Yeah. Did I follow through okay?
[00:56:30] Speaker B: Yes. You totally, completely finished my sentence, actually. So you did not cut me off. You just jumped right in.
So, as you can tell, and I'm sure that a lot of you can tell about this, about our podcast is not only, I think, like, we have a true friendship, but we also respect each other. So it's interesting how our ideas combine now. It's almost like I came in with this thought of, like, let's do an episode on this. And she's like, well, were you reading what I was my focus card today.
[00:57:01] Speaker A: And I said, no, I actually wasn't, because my tarot card is all about empowering myself.
[00:57:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:57:08] Speaker A: So. But I hope that this is timely for the people who hear this as well.
[00:57:12] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:57:13] Speaker A: And I think the biggest takeaway from all of this is to recognize the external influences, but to understand you are empowered from within.
And so you're not a victim. You're actually you have free choice, and that is an awesome responsibility.
And that gives you a lot of power. And your free choice is, how will I react to the externals and how will I act toward myself so that I can start attracting the proper things in the external?
[00:57:49] Speaker B: Yes. Well, thank you so much for tuning in. Again, share with anyone that you know that could benefit from it.
[00:57:57] Speaker A: And we want to thank Mystical Wares in Mount Vernon, Washington, for sponsoring us. If you want Shungite and yes, you do, it's a wonderful purifier.
They have the most Shungite that I think in the entire North America.
[00:58:11] Speaker B: You can find them in Mount Vernon or through their website at mysticalwares.
[00:58:15] Speaker A: Com. Please check them out.
[00:58:18] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:58:19] Speaker A: Bye.
