HEALING AND ACCOUNTABILITY

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey, hosted by two fellow travelers who found a soul connection on the path to higher consciousness. Our goal is to help you navigate the choppy waters you're likely to encounter on the spiritual path by sharing our experiences with you each week. Join us as we spill the tea on what it's like to wake up to your authentic self. Hi, I am Lola Singer and I am with my co host, Amaral. And for those of you who may be tuning in for the first time, this is a podcast we created basically to help people who are new to the spiritual journey and let them know about some of the things we wished we knew earlier. Right. And we've both been on that path for a while. Me longer than my co host I am. But as a result, I'm fully ensconced in the Woo Woo. I'm a professional tarot reader. I also draw people's spirit guides and give them messages from their guides. I also, I always forget to say I'm a Reiki master and I speak in light language. So I started from having no awareness of any of these gifts, and now look how I've blossomed. And you can blossom too. And that's what this particular podcast is about. The encouragement for you guys to keep going. And what would you like to say? [00:01:32] Speaker B: I am Amaral and I am a Reiki master as well. I also facilitate a breathwork class and I got. I. My introduction to the. To spirituality was. Was very abrupt and by meaning abrupt. It was like during COVID But I really like this opportunity to be able to express the things that I've gone through as well as like having kind of like that two experiences coming together as one. And it just, it has really worked. It has really helped me to grow. It has helped me to also be able to express myself. And a lot of us go through a process of a lot of traumas of like, feeling like you were never heard or like you were never really understood. So it's kind of that balance of having to give back. Once we heal ourselves, then we're able to help others on the path. So here I am. [00:02:39] Speaker A: Yep. And that's what we are going to be talking about today. Our subject is healing and accountability, because as you grow on the spiritual journey, your discernment develops and you have a greater sense of service to others, but not at the expense of yourself. Does that sum it up? [00:03:03] Speaker B: Yes. [00:03:04] Speaker A: Okay, so we're going to talk about some of the traps, you know, the martyrdom trap, things like that we've talked about it before. The savior complex. [00:03:15] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [00:03:16] Speaker A: So this is gonna be a deep dive and it's gonna be based on personal experience. And that's what this podcast is about, sharing our experiences with you so you can learn from us and hopefully gain a perspective that helps you along the way, too. And this was all instigated by a post that Amaral made where he okay, I just want to give the guy credit. His writing style is amazing, especially considering English as a second Lang, when he decides to write a post on Facebook, it's about his experiences. It's very heartfelt, meaningful, and poignant. So we wanted to visit one of the posts he made recently and talk about more in detail about some of the topics that he brings up in the post. So how does this sound? Why don't you read the first part, I'll read the next part, and then we're going to go back, why don't we read it all and then we're going to go and revisit some of the topics in a little bit more detail and we hope to get through the whole thing in this podcast. Let's see if we can. [00:04:31] Speaker B: So first, let me start out by saying that usually when I do write things, this is right after really tuning into myself, meditating, relaxing. So I can't really take credit, full credit for it because a lot of it is like, spirit just like coming through. And I know it's like something that I'm sharing and it does come from my heart, space. So this is what I wrote, the beginning of it says, today I write about healing, accountability for ourselves. We come into planet Earth to be part of it, to experience emotions and expand consciousness. The accountability is that we choose to learn the lessons we are exposed to, or we claim them as our stories and make them our traumas. The more you tell the same story, the more it will continue to repeat itself until the lesson is learned. [00:05:26] Speaker A: And then he continues to put it in the simplest way. Your life. It's an inner mirror that reflects out into your world and the experiences you get to live and how you experience the world. If you don't like what you're living, go inwards and heal yourself. Learn your lessons so you shift out of what you don't want to experience. [00:05:49] Speaker B: And then I wrote another big issue that it's happening right now is that everyone talks about having compassion for others, but are you having compassion for yourself first? Meaning we disguise compassion with a savior complex caused by religious programming. We have unworthy issues, so we set others needs before ours. When we stop prioritizing ourselves, meaning we don't give ourselves unconditional love. We don't prioritize peace in our lives. We don't hold ourselves responsible for our own happiness. We cannot offer it to others. [00:06:26] Speaker A: And then, he continues, everything has to start with us and from the overflow we give to others. Otherwise, that's how we burn out. Stress, anxiety, depression, to name a few. When we have an attachment to how the world should work, when we want to control an outcome, that's when things backfire. And yes, it's frustrating, but once again, it's time to go within and heal the issue from the root. That's true inner work. And the rewards of that will empower you to live through life being able to have empathy as you realize you once had to go through this and that everyone is on their own part of their journey. [00:07:08] Speaker B: Yep. And the last part of it is we don't see life how it is. We see life out of how much we have healed or the lack of emotions, especially the ones that are low vibration. Shame, fear, grief, despair, anger, guilt. Those are great indicators of where there's work to be done. It's time to rise up. You are a powerful light. Being 3D earth is a school. Everyone's having their own journey. Your inner healing is your superpower. You are not powerless. You are powerful. It's time for that inner lion to roar. Remember, you are always love and supported. This is the work no one else can do for you. You got this. Love you. [00:07:54] Speaker A: Okay, so hopefully the listening audience can understand. When I read that, I went, oh. Oh, my gosh. This is something we could talk about on our podcast and take a deep dive into some of the things you're saying here. The first thing that's popping in my mind before we revisit the actual words, because when we hear the word accountability, I think that sometimes on the spiritual journey, and I can think of a couple people I've met personally and you might be able to is that I think sometimes people think, oh, now I'm freed from accountability. I can be all airy fairy and hippy dippy. [00:08:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:31] Speaker A: And no, you are accountable for you at all times, which means you need to set your standards and abide by them and take ownership of any consequences of what you are thinking or doing or feeling, especially if you're projecting onto others. [00:08:56] Speaker B: And I think that this brings up a really good point because Lola and I have talked about this before where even in the spiritual world, like, for example, you can't Say you're spiritual, and then you're going to treat others bad. Like, that doesn't match. Like that means there's lack of you working on yourself. There's lack of compassion. But nonetheless. [00:09:14] Speaker A: And just a sidebar, I see a lot of jealousy. [00:09:19] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [00:09:20] Speaker A: In the spiritual world, like, when you're doing, like, I do psychic fairs, and there are times I can feel people's eyes on me and there you can feel the resentment that I'm even there in. In that space. [00:09:32] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And it's that, you know, we are all going through our own journeys, but it's good to hold ourselves accountable as far as, like, how are you showing up to the world? Like, what. What is your. What are your actions really saying about you? It's almost like a. And I think that this specific episode is very reflective and us in what. How we're sending out, how we're being. Like, how what we're doing that's projecting out into the world. [00:10:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Another example I think you mentioned before is, like some on the Facebook posts, we see very spiritual people getting caught up in the drama of politics and not seeing that it's something to transcend, not to drag you down in the quagmire. [00:10:17] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:10:18] Speaker A: Because we have to learn this lesson of duality and polarity, and that is one of the biggest lessons. [00:10:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:24] Speaker A: So anyway, it's for everybody to learn at their own pace. So we're not really knocking other people. We're just saying we see it, we've observed it. [00:10:32] Speaker B: And this is based off of our experiences, too. No one can say they know everything. This is just showing, like, certain parts. Like we're. We're just going to be digesting, I guess, some of the information for a better wording of it. [00:10:49] Speaker A: Yeah. We're both learning as well. [00:10:52] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:10:53] Speaker A: So he starts with. Today he's writing about healing, accountability for ourselves. We come into Planet Earth to be part of it, to experience emotions and expand consciousness. Now, that's a big deal. A lot of people on a spiritual journey, we're going to just be going through this sentence by sentence, guys. They don't think they want to get off planet Earth. [00:11:14] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:11:15] Speaker A: They don't want to be part of planet Earth. They think it's like, oh, how did I end up here? Well, you volunteered to come here because you wanted the lessons, and that would make you an advanced player in the game. Otherwise you wouldn't want the lessons of polarity like we just talked about, and lots of emotions and overwhelming senses. So you're a master player. You came to play a master game. That means you need to be present on earth. That means you're not trying to escape, escape from earth. [00:11:47] Speaker B: And part of expanding that consciousness also means it's not going to be a walk in the park because we're going through all the emotions. So wouldn't it make sense that we first really go through the harder emotions? Because it's really about. It's not something that's happening to you. It's happening for you to be able to see those as a lessons and really be able to learn from them. [00:12:12] Speaker A: Yeah. The contrast lets us learn what we don't want to pursue, doesn't it? It's a harsh lesson, but it's a lesson. And spirit wants to be embodied on Earth. There's no feeling, there's no sensation in spirit. So that's why it's materialized here. The body, the form, the senses. It wants to learn through you. So you're learning spiritual lessons, it's learning physical lessons. Right. [00:12:44] Speaker B: So I'll continue on. The accountability is that we choose to learn the lessons we're exposed to or we claim them as our stories and make them our traumas. The more you tell the same story, the more it will continue to repeat itself until the lesson is learned. [00:13:02] Speaker A: It's kind of like self sabotaging personal propaganda, isn't it? [00:13:06] Speaker B: And you know, when I say this and like coming out of like, like a really like opening up as a book, one of the things is I was. Because I was taught at a very young age about martyr and victimhood. So I just thought I really you guys like before I healed and before I saw it differently, I thought these stories of suffering, the more I told them, the better I would be like compensated because it's a religious programming thought, like the more you suffer, the better you're going to be. The more you're going to get things. That's not how it goes at all actually. [00:13:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And I grew up that with my mom. Definitely had the martyr complex. She wore her suffering like a badge of honor. [00:13:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:13:51] Speaker A: And wanted everybody to know about it and how noble she is because she suffers. So that is a story because the more you focus on how you suffer, the more by law of attraction, what are you bringing into your life? [00:14:06] Speaker B: Well, and then it's. [00:14:07] Speaker A: It's almost like you want more suffering. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Yeah. And then what's really interesting is I was talking to someone about having a set point of everything we do, but when we start our healing, we don't even know where a set point is. So we keep telling the same stories. Right. And then we're like, okay, well, there's. It's weird because it seems as if, like, it keeps coming back, and it keeps coming back, and the more. But not until you reach that point of, like, hold up. Let me just analyze myself and see what I'm saying about what I'm living. And based on that, let me see where the pattern is. But it takes a while to even recognize patterns. [00:14:49] Speaker A: And like I've said before, when you're trapped, you don't see you're in a trap. That's why discernment so important. You might finally realize, oh, my gosh, I've been duped. [00:14:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And then. Then you. Then once you see it, you want to rise above it. [00:15:03] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:15:03] Speaker A: Yeah. But while you're in it. And that's why we're not knocking anybody. Because when. When you're telling yourself stories and you've firmly ensconced in them, all we can do is, like, offer a hand, try to help you with a different perception. But it's really up to you to decide if it's working for you or not. [00:15:22] Speaker B: Mm. And then that's based off of how you're feeling. Like, so if the lesson's repeating and it's a hurtful lesson, then it's. Emotions serve a great purpose. And that's the ability to go within and say, wait a second. So when I'm repeating this pattern, this is how it's making me feel. And if it's a low vibration emotion you're feeling from it, then that's where it's pointing, where the work needs to be done. [00:15:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's usually because you're looking for some kind of comfort. And so you're looking at a story that maybe ultimately isn't comfortable, but it's what you know. So you keep gravitating toward it. So, you know, this is why people, you know, they quit drinking, they go back to drinking, you know, but also it's why women and men too. Why am I dating this same person again? [00:16:11] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, well, and it's the fascinating thing that I found that I've seen is you'll heal. Like, you'll go in and then you'll see the repetitive story, and then you decide, okay, I'm going to do my healing. But that doesn't mean that the rest of the world heals with you. And this is the part where it's really interesting and difficult sometimes because you grow apart from certain people. You're going to find it that those people that were attached to that story with you, they were attached to a story themselves. And for example, even me now, my mom is really huge into, like, that, telling that same story. So with her, it's like I can only be myself and I have to project the most light so that. That way hold space for her and become an observer. But she's not willing to let go of the story yet. So she's not willing to even work on it yet. And that's when we start separating ourselves, even if it is close people. [00:17:07] Speaker A: Yeah. I think that's a really good point in this broadcast for the people who listen, because they're going to be people who have the propensity to be described as lightworkers. Another lightworker wants to help everybody. A lightworker wants humanity to thrive. [00:17:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:25] Speaker A: And so the lightworker will want to be helping everyone they come in contact with. And we are at the point where we have to honor people's decisions to move forward and also not to move forward. [00:17:40] Speaker B: Yep. And you can love them in their part of their journey that they're at it, like. Because a lot of. Sometimes, like, I think it's interesting because 3D shows you that. Oh, because. Or like a lot of the programming shows you that. Because they're not where you're at all of a sudden. Like, you have to, like, have some sort of, like, negative feelings and you don't, like, part of you healing is being able to love people and also to let them go and to allow them to have their own journey, their own experience, and it's their way of how they're processing things. You wouldn't like it when you were going through the same things, for someone to have nagged at you and told you you were wrong and that you needed to switch the way you were viewing things, because, first of all, you wouldn't even accept them at that time. You weren't ready. [00:18:31] Speaker A: Yeah. So when you. When you offer people maybe some things that they think are too New Agey, they're going to say no. [00:18:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:41] Speaker A: You know, they're not ready for it. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Yep. [00:18:43] Speaker A: Okay, well. And these stories, there's a lot of stories that you can tell yourself, you know? [00:18:49] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:18:53] Speaker A: I'm just trying to think, you know, what was. What was one of my major stories? I think maybe one of my major stories and we just talked about was like, oh, I can be. I can be spiritual, but, you know, I hate my job, so I'm going to drink wine at home when I get home. Good thing I switched to Meditating. That's when I realized that, you know, when you realize you're in a hole, you know, but there can be stories about. I don't know why this is coming into my mind other than the guides are giving it to me. But there's like ego driven stories. Like, I'm on the spiritual path. I'm so much better than you. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:30] Speaker A: So I'm going, you know, I'm going to. I'm gonna just kind of lord it over you and that, that, that, that people can see through that. Even. Even the people who aren't on the spiritual path. [00:19:42] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Yeah. So there's a lot of traps. I wouldn't say it if I didn't fall into some of these traps myself. Yeah. [00:19:49] Speaker B: And this is just showing where we could. There's work to be done, obviously in ourselves. And we're sharing our personal stories because we had to do that work ourselves too. It's not like we're like being accept. Like we don't. Didn't go through this. We're talking about it because we went through it. Okay, so our next one. [00:20:07] Speaker A: You mean your pot and my kettle are both black? [00:20:10] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. [00:20:12] Speaker A: Mine's pretty charred. [00:20:14] Speaker B: I always say in our stories, we played every character. We've been the villain, we've been the hero. [00:20:20] Speaker A: Well, especially when you start tuning into your past lives. [00:20:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:23] Speaker A: Becomes you can have a mini version of that in one life, but then you start to see, oh, some of the other past lives. [00:20:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:33] Speaker A: So that's good. See, we're at the point where we can laugh about it. [00:20:37] Speaker B: Exactly. And there'll be points where you have to cry about it. [00:20:41] Speaker A: We are being accountable. [00:20:43] Speaker B: Yeah. And not that there's anything wrong with crying because we both have gone to that point where like, we're so like going through something and sometimes it requires crying to let it out. That's just an emotion. It's just a release. I used to think crying was like, not okay because I was brought up as is the oldest male. And males in the Latin culture were just seen as like, oh, you hide your feelings because that's so much healthier. [00:21:09] Speaker A: Well, I saw that emulated in my Norwegian father too. [00:21:13] Speaker B: Yes. So I guess it covers in every. Yeah. And the males do have it crazier because it's almost like they're expected to be strong but not show any emotions. And you're like showing emotions is strength though, because you're honoring those. That's parts of you. [00:21:29] Speaker A: You bring up a good point because part of being accountable is recognizing these emotions. And finding ways to work through them in a positive way. So that is definitely part of accountability. So, like, your breath work is great for that. You know, meditation, journaling, all kinds of things. So they're not insurmountable. [00:21:52] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:21:52] Speaker A: But they do need to be expressed. [00:21:54] Speaker B: Yep. All right, so the next thing it says, to put it in the simplest way, your life is an inner mirror that reflects out into your world and the experiences you get to live and how you experience the world. If you don't like what you're living, go inwards and heal yourself, Learn your lessons. So you shift out of what you don't want to experience. [00:22:17] Speaker A: That is explaining accountability perfectly. But it takes a lot of fortitude to get to the point where you stop blaming the externals for what's happening. [00:22:28] Speaker B: I just want to say, like, because this I had to live in. Like, I really had to hit rock bottom in order to make sense. Because I thought my outside, My outside world was playing out and I had absolutely no connection to it. Like, I thought somehow, some way that I was excluded. And when we don't take ownership of, like, okay, what energies am I sending out? Because our life outside of us, it's a reflective mirror of what it's going within. So when we don't take ownership of that, it can get really chaotic and fact. Probably one of my favorite quotes that I've read that said before you go through your spiritual awakening, your drunken ego. And that is so true. [00:23:16] Speaker A: Guilty. I know that feeling. And ego's tricky. We've talked about it. I call it the barking Chihuahua. It's always there. It's always making noise. It's tricky and slippery like mercury. So that's one of the things. But. But one of the good points about that would be when you have done something out of ego, that maybe wasn't your highest, shiniest moment. That is exactly when you need to take accountability for yourself. And look at, you know, okay, you do need to look at. Where did that motivation come from to do something? Maybe not with the best intentions. And how do I heal that? And then how do I. How do I. If, If I feel it's necessary, you may not. How do I make amends to the others? Evolved. [00:24:08] Speaker B: And I think that with this one, especially, like, about the mirror reflecting out what's. Where it becomes really tricky. And where it was really tricky for me is that we all have a starting set point on where we start seeing things. So when we have that set point, that's been really ingrained because normally it's programmed into Us, it does a lot of. It creates a lot of chaos because we can't see that set point. And as we move into our healing, then we realize, okay, we can change that set point by healing those traumas. An example of that is like being able to receive. For me, it was all about giving, giving, giving, giving. But once I understood that the reason why my giving and receiving were so unbalanced was because I was going under the programming of by giving more, automatically I was going to receive more, which at the, like, when you really look into it, it is a form of expectation. And it's not very sincere giving, because you're giving something out of it, like with something, expecting something in return. But it took so long for me to realize that too, because it wasn't something that it just came out of nowhere. I have to go through a lot of things to really. And we all have to go through those things. But we. It just to, I guess, which I think we cover later on. But it's really about being able to see yourself, the deepness of yourself with compassion rather than being your worst enemy or your worst judgment. [00:25:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Because you're wounded. And so inner work is shadow work. It's looking at the things that are holding you back emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and taking an honest look at yourself so that you can push forward, push through it, and trying your best to understand who you were at the time is not who you are now. [00:26:18] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:26:19] Speaker A: And learn and realizing that we always do the best we think we can do at that moment in time, even if it doesn't end up being our most shiniest moment. But it was the best you knew at the time under the circumstances, with the skill sets you had. So then that's where the forgiveness comes in. That's where the awareness comes in and the accountability that I will not do that again or I will understand. I'll have more empathy for others when they do that, which I think is part of what's coming up too. [00:26:48] Speaker B: Yep. And the beauty of that too, is that once you go through something, you gain this wisdom. And when you see others, like whether it's playing out on them, obviously you want to ask first. You don't just go into everyone and try to fix people. But. So let's say you have a friend that is really struggling and they seek for your help. You can share that experience with them, and then that way you can help them because you. You've already healed that part of you. [00:27:16] Speaker A: Yeah. It just makes a beautiful circle ultimately, doesn't it? Yeah. [00:27:22] Speaker B: Okay. You Want to start reading the next one? [00:27:24] Speaker A: Okay. That's the one that starts with another big issue. Okay. Another big issue that is happening right now is that everyone talks about having compassion for others, but are you having compassion for yourself first? I think we need to stop right there. [00:27:38] Speaker B: Yep. [00:27:39] Speaker A: Yes. That's when you're in the martyr and the savior syndrome, which we all are at some point on the spiritual path. At some point we go, oh, my gosh, I want everyone to experience, you know, this shift that I'm feeling. And like we said, some people aren't ready. But then also there are so many people in the spiritual world, so many that are just loving hearts, big givers, and they just give so much of themselves away, and they forget to give themselves that love that they're just pouring out to other people. [00:28:15] Speaker B: Yeah. And, you know, the thing about that is that we want to. In order to really be okay in life, we have to have balance. So one of the things that. Which I at first found it so harsh of a saying, but then it made so much sense. And that saying was, if. If you can't receive, you have no business giving. And if. When I first heard it, oh, man, it sounded so harsh. And I was like, wow, that's from someone that's really selfish and all this stuff. And I was like, well, wait a second. [00:28:48] Speaker A: Oh, I think that just hits the nail right on the head. [00:28:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:53] Speaker B: And it's interesting that we have to. It's almost as if this is a good challenge, and I think that this would be great for all of our audience is visit feelings by when you hear them, when you read them, when someone says them to you, anything that triggers you, follow it through to see where it leads you to. Because a lot of the times when we have something that doesn't feel right, that we hear, it's because there's something within us that hasn't been healed or that's being triggered or that's being bothered or it's being challenged. But when we start seeing life as we can learn from so many different, like, places and different things, it just. It makes such a huge difference. [00:29:45] Speaker A: Well, and then I was thinking, too, this really brings up a good point about it's. It's this personal wounding that. What. What kind of wounding have you had in the past that makes you think you're not worthy of receiving? That's when you do the inner work and become accountable. There is something hold. Holding you back from receiving. And yes, part of it, I think for everyone, whether you went to church or not we're trained. Service, service, service, service, service, service, service, service to everyone else at your own expense. [00:30:18] Speaker B: Yeah. And isn't it interesting too how sometimes the service is a disguise as like you feel unworthy because you yourself feel unworthy. So you feel like you have to over give to feel a worthiness within you. When worthiness should be just felt. This is who you are. You're worthy just because you're born, not because you have to have this expectation. [00:30:40] Speaker A: Yeah. So you can help people better with, with that feeling of centeredness, balance and self worth. Then you can from this feeling of duty and obligation. [00:30:52] Speaker B: Exactly. Because anytime you're being mandated to do something, it's not being very sincere and it's not really coming to the place. [00:30:59] Speaker A: It's the shoulds. [00:31:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:01] Speaker A: It's not the why I want. It's oftentimes it isn't even though I want to do it, it's I should do it. I should, I should, I should. And what do they say? Stop shooting on yourself. [00:31:10] Speaker B: Yep. [00:31:11] Speaker A: Okay. I only read one sentence because that was so good. Meaning we. Okay, so about compassion for yourself. First, we disguise compassion with a savior complex caused by religious program and other social programming too. We have unworthy issues, so we set others needs before ours. We just talked about that. When we stop priority. Let me speak in English, Lisa. Oh, I even said my old name. Oh, what's going on? Okay. When we stop prioritizing ourselves, meaning we don't give ourselves unconditional love. We don't prioritize peace in ourselves. We don't hold ourselves responsible for our own happiness. We cannot offer it to others. Ouch. Bomb. That's a truth bomb right there. [00:31:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:57] Speaker A: When we stop prioritizing ourselves, you should be top priority. You should. Because like we just talked about, when you're like your own beaming sunlight, you can definitely help people much better from a place of balance than from imbalance. [00:32:13] Speaker B: And that's why like our. We give. We give ourselves the peace, we give ourselves the love. And from our overflow is what we have to give to others. Because if we're lacking on that, how can we offer that to anybody else? And then we start like really feeling the effects of it, which usually feel like not that great because it's burnout. It's like feeling all these, like you're giving too much of yourself without receiving is because you got to fill your own cup first. And that I think that it's such an issue with today's society because since day one we're taught like, oh, well, if you're not thinking about others first before you, you're selfish. If you're not doing things for others before you do things for yourself, it's like you're just not. Like, you're almost like. It's almost like you're judged of not being a good person when really, how can you be there for others if you're not there for yourself first? [00:33:09] Speaker A: It's that metaphor of, you know, put the airplane, put the oxygen mask on yourself before the kid. [00:33:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:33:18] Speaker A: And that, you know, that's something you can apply to a lot of things in life. If you hear a little noise, my computer's heating up, so just ignore it. If you can hear it over the microphone, hopefully you'll pass. Okay. When I was reading. Reading that, too. We don't know what unconditional love is. Like, you've said before, another podcast, because we don't grow up with it. It's just unconditional love for yourself means loving yourself no matter what you've done, whatever thought things you feel are flaws about yourself, learning to love every aspect of you. [00:33:56] Speaker B: Yeah. And isn't that so strange? Because. So as part of my healing, at least, I can definitely say that I had no clue what unconditional love is, because I never really received that. But then as I'm trying to heal, right. And then all of a sudden, my own inner child starts saying, well, I just wanted to be unconditionally loved. But then it almost has to go back and realize that your parents don't even have a clue of what unconditional love is because they themselves never experienced it either. So it's almost like that circle that continues and that those lessons that continue to happen because people don't learn them and don't break out of those cycles. [00:34:44] Speaker A: It's like you have to become your own parent. [00:34:46] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:34:47] Speaker A: And start to look at yourself the way that, like, the best mother and best father would look at you, like, oh, you made a mistake. That's okay. We're gonna get past this. You learned something from that, didn't you? [00:35:02] Speaker B: And those of you that have done the work of really going back and healing those inner child, like, especially when you first start out, they're very wounded. Oh. A lot of the times they don't want anything to do with you. So you have to even figure out ways of getting to them because they're so hurt. [00:35:19] Speaker A: Did we talk about this in other episodes? About when I went looking for my inner child, I went inward and did a meditation specifically to find my Inner child. If we did, I'm just going to repeat it. I finally found her in my mind's eye and she was in a deserted like city, dirty, cold, dark parking garage. And her face was against the wall and she was alone and she was scared. And I went up to her and she refused to look at me. Yeah, she didn't want any part of me and she was just looking at that wall. And it was heartbreaking that that was the image I encountered. And you encountered something similar. [00:36:01] Speaker B: Mine was in an abandoned house and it was inside of a closet, tied up and it was just dark because it's like that house is like the structure, it's the subconscious structure of you. And the abandonment that they're feeling or being tied up or not looking is that they were emotionally like physically and emotionally abandoned by our parents who didn't even know. The thing is, nobody gets a book of this is how to perfect parent. So there's no way that someone can be a perfect parent. However, when we start our healing, some, a lot of the times we have to go back and we have to reparent ourselves by thinking what would that inner child of mine would have liked at that time? Or how can I get this inner child of mine now that I'm seeing how wounded they are? How can I flip that around? How can I be there when the inner child felt like the world kind of left them behind? [00:37:01] Speaker A: Yeah. And it takes a while for you to make that bond with your own inner child because the trust has to be re established. [00:37:13] Speaker B: Yep. And it's not a one time thing. That's another thing that people think it's like one thing and it's done because you find that that wound is like, it's in different ages, different stages and it's different layers too that you're healing. So that's why they say like the, the true inner healing, it's not a walk in the park because it really isn't. But it is going so deep where yes, you might get to re experience some of those traumas or some of those pains, but this time you're going to experience it and then heal it and then let it go. So it is different or like you. [00:37:50] Speaker A: Say in this, in this post, it means your priority, you're prioritizing your own inner peace. So you're willing to go through that discomfort to ultimately bring that peace to yourself. [00:38:05] Speaker B: Exactly, yeah. [00:38:08] Speaker A: And so we do, we are responsible for our own happiness. We think other people are. You know, you know, you did this to me. You did that to me, you know, it's like, it's your fault this happened. Well, you know what? It's always my fault. It's all, it's. It. That's what accountability is. It's realizing, okay, it's how I reacted to what you did. That was all on me. That's what accountability is. And that's part of the healing too, is the recognizing. [00:38:35] Speaker B: It's like, ah, in the emotions that we decided to trap and decided to tell our story. We chose to do that because even if that person at their worst said something to us that was really hurtful, we decided to keep those emotions and tell it as like, this is my story and this is what I'm holding. [00:38:54] Speaker A: Myself as a scorpio. That's kind of your, you know, the lowest level scorpio. That's how you guys operate. [00:39:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:02] Speaker A: If anyone knows, knows what they're talking about. It's a scorpio. [00:39:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:06] Speaker A: About holding a grudge, holding, you know, it's like, yeah. Oh my goodness. So you've come a long way. You've come a long way. [00:39:13] Speaker B: And see, that's. That's the other thing too. With, with that too, it comes a level. Like what I've realized so far as far as I've done a lot of healing on myself. But the number one thing that I didn't realize how powerful it truly is is being able to forgive ourselves for the versions that we had to play out for, to survive. [00:39:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And we didn't know any better. [00:39:44] Speaker B: Exactly. And when we are very wounded, I mean, there's not going to be cute things coming out of our mouths or cute actions to others. And even on that we have to look at ourselves as. That was a learning experience. Experience. And you know, sometimes we get the opportunity, for example, if you know that you really hurt someone to go back and say, you know what, I'm sorry that, that version of myself, like, I'm no longer that person. But I do. Like, when you do feel like, like you have to come to someone and apologize, there's nothing wrong with that. Now here's the other part too, that it's like a missing part. If you have really hurt anyone in your life, some things are not ready to listen to you. [00:40:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:29] Speaker B: And you got to respect that too. [00:40:30] Speaker A: Because they, they've been wounded and so. [00:40:33] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:40:34] Speaker A: They have to have their own time to heal them. [00:40:38] Speaker B: Yep. [00:40:39] Speaker A: So yeah, that does. Just because you become more enlightened doesn't mean people are going to be forgiving of you necessarily. [00:40:46] Speaker B: And even like the people for Example that haven't healed, and they are from your past. They see you and they think that you're the same version because they have never changed. So they approach you thinking that you're like, exactly that same person. And it feels really awkward because you're like, okay, I see where you're coming from, but that's not who I am now. So it's. [00:41:08] Speaker A: It's just because you rewrote your story. [00:41:10] Speaker B: Exactly. And it just. The way it plays out is so different. And it's like, you know, these people aren't coming back to see stay in your life. But you approach someone and it just comes kind of a. Like, it really comes out of nowhere. And I feel that the universe really does that for us a lot sometimes. Like, it'll put us back into a. [00:41:33] Speaker A: Situation of test to see, have you really come as far as you think you have? [00:41:39] Speaker B: Where are you at now? And, you know, the thing is, I used to have so much pride. Of course, being an unhealed Scorpio, you would have a lot of pride, but that's just like a general. Like such a stereotype. But it's true. When I was very unhealed, I had a lot of pride. So I would be probably not the person that would, like, apologize first. I would probably not be the person that would, like, share their feelings first. But now, because I've healed, I can understand and see things in so many levels that I really don't mind apologizing. I don't mind being the one that it's like, well, this is how I'm feeling. And then not being shy about sharing my feelings too, because a lot of the those are very wounded. The reason why we got so wounded is because we never truly shared how people made us feel. [00:42:28] Speaker A: Yeah. And it opens up communication, at least, you know, whether somebody wants to reciprocate in the conversation or not. [00:42:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:38] Speaker A: You've at least opened up the doors. Right. And I like what you say about, if we don't hold ourselves responsible for our own happiness, we can't offer it to others. [00:42:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:49] Speaker A: Okay. All right, next one. [00:42:52] Speaker B: So everything has to start with us, and from that overflow we can give to others. Otherwise, that's how we burn out. Stress, anxiety, depression, to name a few. That. [00:43:08] Speaker A: Well, that's. That's very true. You know, that goes back to the. You know, how full is your cup. [00:43:13] Speaker B: Yep. [00:43:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:15] Speaker B: When we have attached to how the world should work, when we want to control an outcome, that's when things backfire. And yes, it's frustrating, but Once again, it's time to go within and heal the issue from the root. That's. That's true inner work. And the rewards of that will empower you to live through life being able to have empathy as you realize you once had to go through this and that everyone is on their own part of their journey. [00:43:46] Speaker A: Yes. And I think the gift of empathy is one of the best things on the spiritual path. [00:43:53] Speaker B: Yes, I agree. [00:43:54] Speaker A: We don't get that the easy way. We get it because we understand feelings and heartbreak and sorrow and guilt and, you know, we've lived through all of it. So we can see it in others and empathize with them and know what part of the journey they're on currently. And that could only be momentarily, or it could be for a long, long, long, long time. But you see it now. [00:44:20] Speaker B: One of those. I think that's really popping up in sometimes, and I'm sure that it's not popping up for any reason. Spirit's bringing it up because everything is a process. I went on vacation to the town I grew up in, and I definitely. I was there to get closure and to close out things that, like, I knew Spirit was bringing me back to do that closure. What I didn't realize is that the biggest closure was going to be with the relationships that I have even have in the present. And I chose to talk to my mother and tell her about something that went down, and she accused me of lying. But also, I'm not even a lying person. So that was, like, really contrary. But I also understood that there's no way she could have faced it, because facing it would mean that she would think that she took part, took some part of it. Because as parents, when you're raising your kids, the last thing you want to hear is that your kids were treated badly and that it was, like, around the time, but it was such a small town. There was so much chaos there. But what I understood is that there's going to be people, especially close people, that, at least for the time being, are going to truly express to you. I don't want to heal from this point, and I'm going to stay right here. Now, that doesn't mean that they're not going to heal later on in life, but it does mean that your biggest power is going to be take your energy away from that situation and move forward, because they're having their own journey. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Yep. Yep. [00:46:18] Speaker B: And it's a lot harder to do than, like, how I made it sound. But at the same time, everyone has to go through their own journey. Like one of the biggest things I've learned is my biggest thing where I, I used to really fall for was trying to carry others or trying to prioritize others needs before mine. And that never worked. And that got me in such a bad shape that you just have to let people live. And even those, hopefully they come back around. And even if they don't come back around, that's totally their choice. But you have to find you're doing your inner healing for you not to. You're no longer playing by the games of oh, you're doing it because you need to spotlight. It's like you're shedding away the mask that you've been wearing and you're connecting with your true soul essence and becoming who you truly are. And it's a tough road, but when you decide to do it, it also has so much to give to you and so much to show to you about your true inner power and who you truly are. And to like have you look at yourself from a different eye of this is how I'm going to present myself and this is who I truly am. No longer trying to wear those masks that society wear. And that's really, truly your spiritual awakening. [00:47:51] Speaker A: Yeah. And going back to people's personal journeys, they're learning life lessons too that maybe you've already learned, whether it's in this life or past lives. So you trying to circumvent and save them from having to learn something the hard way actually. Well then they're still gonna have to learn this life lesson again anyway. So whether it's this life or the next life, that's one of the things you start to see from a higher perspective on the spiritual path too. Okay, so the final part of what he posted, and I hope you guys are, are enjoying going along with this because he's just got so many truth bombs in. This is we don't see life how it is. We see life out of how much we have healed or the lack of emotions, especially the ones that are low vibration. Shame, fear, grief, despair, anger, guilt. These are great indicators where there is work to be done. Now that brings up something we just talked like are you feeling guilty because you're trying to save someone from their own life lesson? Well, why are you feeling guilt? That means you have a lesson to learn about that. [00:48:59] Speaker B: Yep. [00:49:00] Speaker A: So these are all emotions that are uncomfortable, but when you start to look at these emotions, you start to realize that's why it's here. That's what I haven't fixed within myself yet. You know, that's how you get the great awareness by being, being willing to look at these uncomfortable feelings. [00:49:18] Speaker B: And I think there's one part here that I really wanted to mention was it's you are so powerful like beyond what you could possibly imagine. But unfortunately what we feed ourselves is how we start seeing life too. Because that's part of like, it's almost like, like, like putting seeds in your life. So, and I'm not saying necessarily you, but this could be also people in your life. If people are choosing for example to focus on the news all the time, to be fear based, that's how they're going to be seeing their life. So it's going to make a huge difference for like if you are coming along and you're really focusing the positivity and you really focusing on like moving forward and bringing in your happiness and then you reach those people and sometimes it's not even like a stranger, it's like people that are right close to you and it's hard because you know better as far as like, you know that that's not doing anything good for them. But at the same time is how do you come around to be able to talk to someone in a way where you're expressing your truth but at the same time you're allowing them to have their expression experience. And that's where it gets a little more complicated because it's not even a, it's almost like a two way street. In order to, to be heard, you have to listen. Now that doesn't mean you have to go down with the ship and you have to like the negativity. You have to take it as your own and that's where your discernment comes in. But it is a tough road to go through, especially when those people, they're completely opposite of you and that's like their, their journey is maybe like facing things that you have already gone through happen to be people that are really close to you too. [00:51:32] Speaker A: I agree with that too. So one of the things that he's finishing up in this post that I like so much, very, very, very good for you to hear. Your inner healing is your superpower. You are not powerless, you are powerful and that comes from inner healing. [00:51:59] Speaker B: But you would never tap into that power unless you started doing your inner healing. Because before that you're going by what your traumas are dictating to you. That's not true about you. But once you start healing and you start healing those things, that becomes your superpower too because it empowers you to be able to stand on your two feet and say, this is who I am. And so many people have not been able to do that or will not do that. [00:52:31] Speaker A: Sometimes very few people feel authentic. [00:52:33] Speaker B: Mm. [00:52:34] Speaker A: Yeah, But I love that you write there. You're not powerless. You are not. And it's time for that inner lion to roar and remember, you're loved and you're supported and this is the work no one else can do for you. And you can do it. And that's what our podcast is exactly about, showing you you can do it. It will be a work in progress. I'm not done. You're not done. [00:53:00] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:53:01] Speaker A: The people in the audience are not done. There's no finish line. We're always improving ourselves. We're always looking at, how can I be more impeccable? How can I be more authentic? How can I, you know, stand in my power and shine like the sun, like I said earlier, without any adverse effects to anybody else? And that's. Then you become a mirror for people. [00:53:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:27] Speaker A: And that's very powerful. When they see. Wow. You know, especially if they know your backstory. [00:53:33] Speaker B: Yep. [00:53:34] Speaker A: You came from that. And you work through all of these angers and frustrations and look where you are now. If you can do it, maybe I can do it too. [00:53:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:45] Speaker A: So I found this particular post so inspiring because it touches on a lot of deep things and allows people to see that. Oh, okay. You know, if I'm willing to have that speaking of line, that courage to look. Look deeply at myself and see what I like about myself currently, what I don't like about myself and then find out why is it I don't like this. That's how you start to really stand in your power. [00:54:18] Speaker B: Yep. [00:54:19] Speaker A: And so that's where the accountability comes in. It's like, nobody's going to do this for you. You're going to do it for you. [00:54:25] Speaker B: Yep. And, you know, on these posts, too, it's really interesting because when I get inspired to write about hits me a lot deeper. Like, I mean, you're not seeing me in person, but there was a few points where I shared some stories that are very personal to me and I got a little teary eyed. But, you know, the teary night is good because it shows me that obviously I'm a compassionate being, that I do have emotions, that I am a loving being, and that regardless of I'm just striving. Like my whole intention is just to be better each day, like to heal more, to be able to have more compassion, to be able to bring to people more of the best self that I can bring, which is the healed version of me. In at times, we don't. None of us ask for, like, ooh, like, mean. We signed up for the lessons. Let me rewind. And that. We signed up for the lessons. We did not understand how deep they were going to. How deep they were going to be or how tough they were going to hit us. And no matter how much you build up and stuff, there's going to be things that are going to make you shake a little bit because you're like, oh, shoot, now, like, almost like my whole structure of how I thought things were going to be. It's not how it is, but I mean, I'm just going moving forward with it. And as long as I don't give up on myself, as long as I continue to heal, I'm going to get to the other side. And I'm truly speaking from heart, is that sometimes it feels really hard to go through it. But once you do get to the other side is that moment of peace. And you owe it to yourself. And that. That inner work, it's something that no one can take away from you, but at the same time, it's something that no one else can do for you as well. [00:56:21] Speaker A: And a thought came to me. I wanted to say that not only are you honoring yourself, you're honoring your inner child, you're honoring your inner teenager, you're honoring your ancestors. [00:56:30] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:56:31] Speaker A: By clearing this so that these wounds don't have to get repeated. [00:56:37] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:56:38] Speaker A: So that's the power you have, you guys. And it requires courage, it requires honest look at yourself. And it also requires a choice. A choice to be the purest you you can be. [00:56:56] Speaker B: Yep. [00:56:58] Speaker A: And we're all working toward that. [00:56:59] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:57:00] Speaker A: And we all back cycle every once in a while. There's nothing wrong if you do. You just go, oh, all right. Let me just brush myself off and move forward again and just keep going, guys, because we want you to stand in your power. I want to stand in my power. I want to be even more powerful than I am now. You do too. So the more humanity heals and takes accountability and moves forward, the better for all of us. [00:57:28] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:57:30] Speaker A: And I guess we're going to leave it on that note. [00:57:34] Speaker B: That was heavy. A little bit. [00:57:36] Speaker A: Well, if that wasn't too heavy for you, I do want to put in a plug for myself. I am doing a discount on all of my online services, which include spirit guide drawings, tarot readings, and energy healings at my website, www.lolasinger.com if you like my offerings, just put in the code WOO. Like Woowooville capital letters WOO25. You get a 25% discount through the end of September. And on that note, keep working on you. [00:58:12] Speaker B: Thank you for listening and don't forget to share. And just a shout out to our sponsor, Mystical Wares. Check them out online and their website is www.mysticalwares.com. [00:58:25] Speaker A: Learn all about the wonders of Shungite and come to the store in Mount Vernon if you can too. In Washington. Bye bye.