SELF LOVE, SELF CARE

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey, hosted by three fellow travelers, Lola, Ameril and Pamela, who found a soul connection on the path to higher consciousness. Our goal is to help you navigate the choppy waters you are likely to encounter on the spiritual path by sharing our experiences with you each week. Join us as we spill the tea on what it is like to wake up to your authentic self. And I am one of your three hosts, Pamela alongside, I'm Lola Singer and I am Emeril. And a little bit about us. I am a certified spirit shaman. I'm also a medium energy healer and a spiritual mentor. And all three of us have ways to work with us and we're going to share a little bit about that. But Lola, why don't you share a little bit about what you do? [00:00:55] Speaker B: Okay. Well, for the people who are not familiar with us yet, I too am a Reiki energy healer. We've all been. The three of us were trained by the same teacher. I also speak and sing in light language and I'll be doing more and more light language videos this year. My guides are pushing me to do them so you can find me on TikTok as Lola singer light language arts and on YouTube as well. And I also teach Tarot and specialize in the Toth Tarot deck and use those cards all the time for personal reasons that really help me to see where I am on my spiritual journey. So they're a great tool for everyone. How about you, Amaral? [00:01:40] Speaker C: My name is Ameril. I am a Reiki master as well. I am a hairstylist that does a lot more than just hair as far as more of a spiritual hairstylist where I clear. And of course, having discernment teaches me to know which clients I can go a little bit further with spirituality as well as I'm a breath work coach. I do a breathwork class every two weeks and that one is free for anyone that would like to take part of it. Reach out at our welcome to Woo Woo Bill Facebook page and I will give you more information about it. [00:02:24] Speaker B: Yeah, those, those are online, so you don't have to be in person at all. It's just all over the airwaves. And speaking of airwaves. [00:02:33] Speaker A: Yes. And speaking of airways, we've been getting. [00:02:36] Speaker B: A lot of good feedback from people locally who've been listening to this podcast. And what we would love to know is if you do like the podcast as much as the people are telling us they do, would you kindly let a friend know about it and pass the word along. Because our goal is to help people who are new to the spiritual journey so they can kind of avoid some of the pitfalls we encountered, or at least we can warn them what's likely to happen, but also the joys and the beautiful reasons for wanting to keep going down the road to Woo Woo ville. So yes, if you like the podcast, please, please tell a friend. [00:03:18] Speaker A: Yeah, it's really about putting out this energy and finding and building that community, which is really what we're about, and helping it because it's like just because you start, you're continually growing, growing, growing this whole path. [00:03:32] Speaker B: Which brings up a good point because like one of our friends who's been, been on the spiritual path for a long, long time said, oh, you had a topic. I figured, I knew all about it. But I listened to your podcast and I gained some new insights. So you don't have to be new to the spiritual journey to enjoy the podcast. So just spread the love, please. [00:03:50] Speaker A: Yes, thank you. [00:03:51] Speaker B: Speaking of spreading love. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Yes. Beautiful segue, Lola. [00:03:54] Speaker B: It wasn't intentional. [00:03:55] Speaker A: I must have channeled it is. Our episode today is one of my favorite topics that is actually one very foreign to me, which is about self care and self love, how those are intertwined. And that was a topic I didn't certainly know anything about. I mostly was thinking it was all around sacrifice and putting everybody ahead of myself. And so that's one of the beautiful lessons I have learned in life is how to, to stop that pattern. And we'll talk a little bit about that as we get into the episode. [00:04:32] Speaker B: But, but, but that applies to this, you know, being a mom and stuff like that. But it's so important on the spiritual journey because a lot of people I think are so focused on service to others, service to others, service to others. [00:04:47] Speaker A: So a pattern that I've seen that I've observed is within a lot of, you know, you come in with like, like minded people, right? There's, there's parts of us that we see in each other and one of them has been the real self sacrificing or you know, thinking of everybody else first. And you almost don't even know how to advocate for yourself. Or it's all these different types of things where you've put yourself kind of in a backward position at the bottom of the list and you're taking care of like everybody else around you because you are heart sensitive or you're, you're a giver, you're a helper, you're someone here to assist the collective. So you're used to doing this and actually taking care of yourself is like, what is that? What does that look like? And I think this topic has come really a long ways. As of, I would say the last five years I've seen more and more on caring yourself. And I used to think self care was like a hot bath, like the spa thing, you know, like which it is, I mean that is one of them. But it was like, I don't know, little more superficial type things. I think that society said, oh, it's okay to, this is what self care looks like. And so we're going to talk about some deeper ways that you can go into that and hopefully we'll give you some good suggestions. One of the things I wanted to start since I guess I'm speaking now, is being a mom. So what I witnessed from my mother, which is what we learn a lot from as we're children, being sponges and programmed, we're looking at our parents, is that my mother was very self sacrificing but she just would, she was kind of a dynamo. And so I just watch her do all these things, but I didn't really see her do a lot for herself. She did get a period of her life where she started doing some more things, but she didn't really talk about that. And so as a parent, as a mother, you're really trying to model to your children what it looks like as they grow older. What does that look like? So because I didn't see my mom, you know, going out and doing certain things to care for herself, take time away, prioritize things that she needed for herself, I just thought, oh, this is what it look, what it looks like is you, you don't really take care of yourself. And this is one of the things I'm going to put in a, I think a post, but one of my eye opening things and I'm going to speak to mothers right now is one of the number one gifts you can give your kids and I firmly believe this, is to prioritize yourself first and quit putting your kids above you. You are teaching your kids later on they're either going to be in a relationship of some kind or with themselves. And if they don't know what that looks like or know the reasons why or see that done, it's going to be a lot harder for them to do that. And if you're always putting your kids first, you're saying you're not worthy, you're not valuable, you're not, you are More important than me. And so I think that shift is what I've noticed within my own kids is that when I did things like that, I noticed, especially my younger child, her energy changed. She shifted when I took care of myself because she saw me happy. So your kids are very tuned into you, whether you were aware of that or not. And so when you're doing good and you're coming home happy, in a good mood, or they see you, they're like you went away with your friends for lunch or a weekend getaway or vacation, I would be sharing what was going on and I could feel their excitement or their joy or whatever. And so when they saw me do good, it did have a direct impact on them. So whether you're aware of it or not, they are picking up things by, by what you're teaching and showing and guiding you. And so that's the thing that I think was the most eye opening thing to me, because it was always about all the energy being poured into the kid. So I was the coach, I was on this board, I was volunteering my time like I was everywhere. And I thought, oh, this is what you do to, you know, pour into your kids. And in so doing, I wasn't caring for myself. And then when that shifted and I started just doing a few little things, I noticed, huh, When I do this, they're happier, they're better, and they're more relaxed because I'm more at peace, I'm more calm. So that was just an observation. And I think that was one of the eye opening things for me was, oh, if I take care of myself first, other things seem to fall into place a lot better in our household. And you shift the energy, the tone of the mother sets, or the vibration of that sets the tone of the household. It's like that saying, you know, happy mother, happy wife, happy life. It's, it's. There's a reason for that, you know, that is your, typically your, your area of domain and frequency. [00:10:00] Speaker B: Okay. And I'd like to expand on that because, yes, everything's a reflection of a reflection of a reflection. So what Pamela is talking about at a microcosmic level, I would like to expand upon because there are people on the spiritual path, whether they're mothers or not, whether they're female or not, who give and give and give and give and give. [00:10:21] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. [00:10:22] Speaker B: Especially the healers. [00:10:23] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:24] Speaker B: And they end up not taking care of themselves. [00:10:26] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:10:27] Speaker B: Because like a good mother, they're so focused on I, I've got skills, I've got skills. I can help that person. I can help that person. I can help that person. And they, they neglect themselves. So this applies to everybody on the spiritual path to be aware of. Because I'm sorry to say, sometimes we don't realize how much we're taking from these people either. [00:10:52] Speaker A: Right. [00:10:53] Speaker B: You know, like, like, okay, I'm just going to use an example. The person who taught us Reiki told us that on Christmas, Christmas, three people contacted her and wanted emergency healings because they were dealing with the emotional stuff with their family and they expected her to drop everything on Christmas. So it's a two way street here. But I think the most important thing is you've got to allow yourself, if you are one of the people on a spiritual path who's an empath or a healer or has intuitive information to share that you do need to prioritize yourself first to be optimal. And the example I always give people is yes, you can be of service to others. Like let's say you're running a soup kitchen in a big urban area. How are you going to feed those people if you did not eat yourself that day? [00:11:47] Speaker A: Exactly. It's the oxygen mask, right? Like put, you know, you got to take care of yourself first. You can't give from an empty well, so you've got to take care of yourself first. [00:11:57] Speaker C: I also believe that this has to do a lot with programming of absolutely. Just what is your definition of being a good mother? If you say that oh, you're being a good mother is putting your kids always first, that's not a good mother. Because so for example, even out in the wild, if, if a mom neglects herself and let's say she dies, those kids that are as good as dads, I mean those, the her cubs, whatever, her offsprings would not be able to fend for themselves. The same thing happens in real life. We need to get over those programming that like it's, I find it that it's always like so in a way it's, it's such a destruction of what it truly is. It's almost like a morbid way to twist things into pleasing others before yourself. And a lot of the times that that's just not really what it is. So a lot of the times we have to go back to the stem of where is this coming from? And if, if your answer is, well, I believe that to be a good mother, I look at my mother and she was always there for us. And then if your answer is also, but she was never there for herself, if you have to, if if you have to ask your, if somebody asks you who is your mother out of being your mother and you can't describe her, that's a pretty good chance that your mother has only focused on you and you don't even know who your true mother is. [00:13:30] Speaker A: And I would just adjust on what you're saying. When you were saying if your mother, if your mother is putting her, her kids first, she's not a good mother. There's. She is a good mother. [00:13:39] Speaker C: She's a good mother. [00:13:40] Speaker A: She's a good mother in the sense that she's doing everything that she has been indoctrinated, which is really a big, strong thing that you went through by, especially within that culture that you were raised in was. It was martyrdom, it was self sacrificing. You got, it was honorable, you were, you were pious, you were good for putting your kids and your family first. Like, who are you to put yourself above your kids? Like, that would be breaking a lot of norms and expectations and cultural stuff. It doesn't. When that's been taught to you for such an early age and you see it in your entire world and then it's preached to you, you're like, oh, this of course I'm supposed to put myself last. Of course you know me. What it's not even a thought, and you brought up a good point was that I remember thinking about my mom going, I don't even know. Like, I didn't even know specific things like her, likes, her, joys her. Like when you are always putting your kids first, you don't even have a chance to share who you are. Because I'm just, I'm supposed to be like, cook, clean, do all of these, these tasks and caring for you. But it's like you want to have a relationship with your child. You. I think that's the thing that what I have learned a lot from my mom was observing one day was like, I felt bad. I was like, I don't even know who she is. And Lola, you talked about how your mom was, you know, had that, the martyrdom. So it's like that's a very common taught culture, expectation for a reason. I feel like. So we're not, you know, you have strong women out there, but they're not caring for themselves. And you know what, when the kids are gone, how are they adjusting to being empty nesters when they've never cared or abandoned themselves? They don't even like, know. I think that's why a lot of women are having struggles in that next phase of Life. Because it's like, who am I if I'm not with my kids? [00:15:27] Speaker B: Yeah. But that applies to that spiritual journey too. See, I want to take it back to. I know what. Personally, I don't want to keep focused completely on mothers. [00:15:34] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:34] Speaker B: Because we are our own mothers. On the spiritual. [00:15:37] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:15:38] Speaker B: So we need to take care of ourselves. And that includes rest. [00:15:43] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:43] Speaker B: As well as being active. Because especially if you are shifting a lot and you're getting like uploads, energetic uploads or downloads, you know, your body needs a little time to adjust to that. So we need to be our own mothers. So I'm not discounting the stories about the mothers, but I would like to kind of also embrace that. This. It's not. We're not specifically looking at your mom, and we're looking at the concept of a mom. [00:16:13] Speaker A: Right. [00:16:14] Speaker B: As well. And you have to be your own mom. [00:16:16] Speaker A: Yes. [00:16:17] Speaker C: And so then the part that we're talking about more is the nurturing part of yourself. [00:16:21] Speaker A: Yes. [00:16:21] Speaker C: And also it's about having balance. We're not saying not to love your kids, not to love yourself. It's more about having that balance where you're not just leaning one way or another. You're having more, you're taking it back and you're seeing what's most beneficial for you as well as people that depend on you or yourself. As far as the self care, you. [00:16:47] Speaker A: Know, you were talking about that last bit that you were saying. I kept hearing the word boundaries because, you know, when you have self care and self love. Benevolent boundaries. Yeah. You're going to have benevolent boundaries to be like, you know, either you, however you need to roll with that. [00:17:01] Speaker B: That's one of the things I think a lot of people. That's what I guess I was trying to say at the very beginning. A lot of people do not have those boundaries, especially when they open up to their gifts right away. So also, another thing that my tarot teacher was emphasizing from day one is if you do a tarot reading for somebody, there needs to be some kind of energy exchange. So whether that doesn't always mean money, but it's like, you know, trade something, get a little extra emotional support from that person, whatever it is, because everything's, you know, everything's about balance. And so I think when you're new to your spiritual gifts, you tend to give them all away with getting nothing in return. [00:17:45] Speaker A: That's a very good point. You often went like, oh, I want to help, so. And so I'm. You're having all of this Connection to what you can do and how you can help. And I think that one of the reasons why I've seen within. It's very common within the community of healers is at some point their bodies start getting sick. [00:18:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I've seen that. [00:18:04] Speaker A: Right. Like, how many times you've seen this a disease because they're giving or an accident or there's something that puts them, you know, almost in a timeout. [00:18:13] Speaker B: Oh, that happened to me twice, actually. Was I. You've seen the hills in Seattle. [00:18:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:19] Speaker B: On a rainy day, I slipped on a manhole cover and landed on my flat on my back. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:18:25] Speaker B: And I walked all the way down to work, which was in the main part of downtown. And by the time I got there, I had to leave. And then I went to the doctor, and I was bedridden for, like, two months. [00:18:34] Speaker A: Wow. [00:18:35] Speaker B: So that was when my spiritual journey began, because I was lying in bed and I couldn't. I could only hold. Like. Even reading a book was, like, a weird angle and stuff. So I had to slow down and both, you know, meditate and listen to things. And I don't know if that's kind of tangential to what we're talking about, but I do have that experience, what you just said. [00:18:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So many times. It's like you can neglect and neglect, but at some point, you're in a physical body. So it's like learning to care for yourself. And we were often taught by parents who didn't know these things for themselves or know how to care for themselves. So it's like this cycle of, like, okay, I want to break this. I want to, you know, be able to take care of myself so that I'm not, you know, having these different things happening. But one of them is getting sick or having these illnesses or things from not caring for yourself. [00:19:26] Speaker B: Yes. But I think the most basic first step is to understand whether you even feel worthy of love. [00:19:36] Speaker A: I'm so glad you said that, because I just was gonna say worthiness. [00:19:40] Speaker C: I was just about to two things, too, because you guys were talking about, you know, like, you. Those. Those that start tuning into their gifts. A lot of the times, us spiritual people are the black sheep of the family. [00:19:53] Speaker B: Guilty. [00:19:54] Speaker C: So you've been neglected for all that time, and all of a sudden, hey, a gift comes up. Now you can help them. So now all of a sudden, oh, they're going to see me as worthy. Which, again, it's a programming that needs to be healed. But nonetheless, these are a lot of the reasons why we burn ourselves out. [00:20:11] Speaker B: I don't think family necessarily sees you as worthy when you turn on your spiritual gifts. I think that a lot of times they don't want you to be anybody other than how they perceive you. [00:20:23] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:20:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Speaking of things we were talking about, what does each individually. I was like, well, what do you. What do you use to care for yourself, Lola? And we were going to share some of the things that we noticed. There was some similarities. Obviously, we have some similar tools that we all use collectively, but because we're all different, we each had our own, so. [00:20:50] Speaker B: Well, this isn't really my own, but we didn't talk about this beforehand, but I think based on what we just said, I know Amaral does this, but you gotta believe you're worthy taking care of yourself. So you got to have that self love. And that's why, Ameril, in your journey, you did the mirror work. So as simple as looking yourself in the mirror and saying, I love you, I love you, I love you three times and looking yourself in the eye. And some of you will not be. [00:21:21] Speaker C: Able to do that at first. [00:21:25] Speaker A: Yeah, I remember I was having a lot of health issues, and I went to this chiropractor who had talked about body testing, which was the first time I heard of that. And he said, well, something matter of fact, like, well, you don't like yourself. And I just was like, you don't even know me, sir. But I'm like, this is a first time appointment. And how did you like. [00:21:44] Speaker B: And now I don't like you. Yeah. [00:21:45] Speaker A: And I'm like, wait, I don't think I want to come back. But he hit on a nerve. But also I was like, well, what do you mean? That seems absurd. Of course I like myself. So he body tested me, and the answer was, no, I did not. And I was. I just was dumbfounded. So. Oh, no, we got music going on. [00:22:03] Speaker B: Oh, wow. That spontaneously came out of the computer. Was that. Was Jesus? [00:22:07] Speaker A: Is Jesus coming? Talk about love, Right? Okay. There was a confirmation of consciousness that just kind of blew my mind. I had to sit with that and look at that going, okay, wait, if I don't like myself, then I'm obviously not to the point of love. [00:22:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:25] Speaker A: So it just. Sometimes it's bringing in those things. People will come into your life and shine a light on something and go, here, here's where you're. [00:22:34] Speaker B: Yeah. So I guess one of the first steps would be like, maybe identify three things you actually do like about yourself. Because if you haven't Been thinking about that. That could be quite the insights. And if that's hard, you might have to ask someone what they like about you. [00:22:48] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:22:49] Speaker C: So one of the things that I really want to bring into a realistic point is that there's two ways to really love yourself on self love. One, there's the intellectual part that you're going to think like well of course I'm going to love myself, I am me. But that doesn't necessarily match with your inner feelings about yourself. And that's where it was really tough for me. It's interesting because I had, I went to a healer and the healer said well, on a scale from 1 to 10 being the highest, how much self love do you think you have for yourself? And I said oh, I probably think about like an 8 or 9. She says okay, because you kind of rate more like about a 4. [00:23:34] Speaker A: And I was like what? [00:23:37] Speaker C: But again like just like Pam said, it's just, it gets brought out to your attention because what you think, where you think you stand doesn't necessarily mean that's their true feelings towards yourself. [00:23:49] Speaker A: Exactly. I think that that's also not thing that we've seen. I have hear the word being selfish. So if I chose things for myself I would have to have to deal with like am I being selfish? But really self care and self love is valuing yourself. And if you really love yourself, you wouldn't put yourself in certain situations, you wouldn't do certain things. It actually flows through every almost decision and behavior you take. So you, when you're coming into a spiritual awakening, you're, you're realizing there's a whole self of you that has been left in the shadows that you're now retrieving and, and coming in connection with. And now what does it look like to do something you've really never really operated from a self love, self care perspective. [00:24:40] Speaker C: Also I want to bring in another thing that's really huge with what you're speaking about Pam, is boundaries. Boundaries are part of having self love because if you truly have self love for yourself, you wouldn't allow others to treat you a certain way, you wouldn't allow people to put you in certain situations or at least you would speak out when you're no longer in that you're not being respected. You would know when to say okay, no, I deserve to be treated better or no, I will not be treated this way. And that is a huge learning point. Turn point. Because a lot of the times when self love comes, everybody thinks it's just like oh, loving and caring and part of self love is really like working on yourself and healing yourself is part of self love. That's truly showing yourself what true self love is. When I go into I love doing breath work because breath work is such a healing modality. But a lot of the times that's what people don't understand is like the reason why you're choosing to heal yourself. That is a form of self love because nobody else can do that for you as well as this is you proving to yourself I am worthy of healing myself. Like none of us had a say of how we were going to be brought up, but we all can change that about ourselves and that is really connecting with your self love. Because if you're going to choose you, I can honestly say that the first thing that got me to work on myself was pain. I didn't want to live a life with just feeling like all of a sudden there was all this pain. Everywhere I turn it seemed like I found pain. And I told Lola the other day we were like in the car and I said Lola, I feel like I really have shifted. I did a big shift. And she's like what do you mean? And I said at first I kept saying to myself, I don't want to look at pain anymore. That's why I keep continuous to work on myself. And then you get to this part where you just get over that part of the pain. I mean you're always going to have things that you're working on, don't get me wrong. But then you start loving yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. That now what the reason why you start working more on yourself is because you're loving what you're finding out about yourself. Because, because inside those shadows are your true strengths. So you start really valuing yourself for who you are. And that's why they go hand on hand. Like at first it might seem tough for you to work on yourself, but once you really start working on yourself, you really start developing a connection with yourself as well. You should start loving what you're seeing about yourself. [00:27:17] Speaker A: One of the things I really noticed with working with trauma survivors and people that deal with depression, anxiety, some mental health things is that, that, that you have to come in and parent yourself. And some days that looks like I took a shower today. Today I took, I brushed my teeth today I got up out of bed and maybe put clean sheets on. Some days your self care is going to look maybe different than other days when you're more optimal and to love yourself through those tough times. To be like, it's okay that, you know, I'm not up doing all the things that was on my list today because this came up for me actually recently and I thought this is so great we're talking about. It is. I was in this period of creation and I was had like four projects going on and I kept hearing like, no, we got the list in my taskmaster, my head is like, we've got to get these things done and they're not going to meet the timeline. This is the date you really wanted to do this. X, Y and Z. Like we've all got so many things right that we're running on our plates. I don't think anybody is just like doing nothing. Very few people are not contributing in life in some way. But in that process it might be like, you know, the list isn't going to done today because when I check in with my body, my body's tired. When was the last time I ate? So sometimes self care looks like I'm resting, I'm feeding myself, I'm taking care of myself. And to not beat yourself up when you do need to take a nap when you do need to do those things because the body and the spirit are so connected. But if you're always been operating from a headspace or a will driven place or I'm pushing to get this goal, it's really easy to disconnect from, oh, wait, how am I caring for this vessel that I've been gifted with? Because when we don't care for the body is when, you know, we notice that the body all of a sudden it's like, I didn't know what it was like when I hurt my back or hurt my knee. But boy, when this doesn't work right, my whole body doesn't operate optimally. And so sometimes it does take those, those moments to like kind of wake you up to the fact of, you know, you have this beautiful, incredible body that we've been blessed to have to have all these experiences and things, but we have to care for it well. [00:29:40] Speaker B: And a lot of people, I think on the spiritual journey forget that the body is part of spirit. [00:29:47] Speaker A: Yes. [00:29:48] Speaker B: So they don't, they want to be up in the crown chakra all the time. So we do have some episodes that talk about shadow work. We have episodes that talk about raising your frequency, things like that. So we've got a lot of suggestions for you if you want to look at the back catalog. But also, you know, yes, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, you can get fatigued. And how do you help yourself when you decide? I'm going to prioritize myself right now, I think, Pamela, you were trying to get to that earlier. So in addition to some of the ideas we offer you in some of the other episodes, the one that works best for me because I'm very creative. I was the kid in kindergarten who refused to do anything but draw and paint. You know how the teacher always tries to get you every day to do a different. Like, why don't you play house today? [00:30:43] Speaker A: Right. [00:30:43] Speaker B: And then why don't you do this today or that and go, nope, I only want to draw. Okay, well, you drew yesterday. Then I'll paint. So what feeds my soul and when I really, really need to take some time out to be me is to do some artwork, especially. I love collages. And I'll pick whatever's bothering me or whatever. I feel good about whatever it is and work through my emotions by creating a piece of art. [00:31:17] Speaker A: I love that artists got such a great frequency, because then other people can so see this creation and helps other people, too, through your process, you know. [00:31:27] Speaker B: And it gets the emotions out on the paper. And I actually had a couple times. It's like, especially when I had my previous job where I pulled out a piece of paper and I just scribbled so hard. Scribble, scribble, Scribbled till you're tearing the paper, but it got it out, right? [00:31:41] Speaker A: Yeah. We were sharing how, like, when you're in a place, sometimes I notice you doing the light codes and writing. And we were like, that's one of your things that you do to help care for the energy that's flowing in your body is to move it. [00:31:53] Speaker B: Yes. Because since I do write in light language, as well as speak and sing in it, I end up doing something called light language. I call it light language journaling. I don't know if some of the people in the audience have seen people's written light language, but it's like, it kind of looks like letters, but it doesn't. It's like soul code. It's my own personal soul code. And even when I try to write in English to do some journaling, it might start out in English for maybe two, three sentences, and then I start writing in the codes. So I've just learned to just go with it. And I do feel the energy come out on the paper. Whether I need to release something or, you know, soak in some energy. Whatever I'm writing, it does seem to tie into how I'm feeling. So I know that's not something everybody does, but hey, okay. Yes, you do. Now that I think about it, people doodle. [00:32:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:47] Speaker B: Your doodling is maybe not technically light language, but it's getting stuff out on paper. So there's, there's, there's healing in those doodles. There really is. And some of it actually does turn out to be light language. I've had people send me pictures of their doodles. Oh, I do this all the time when I'm in a meeting at the office. Go. Well, that looks like light language to me. [00:33:07] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:33:09] Speaker C: I also want to. I'm being nudged to take this back on resting and napping and how important it is. So if you would have. If you guys would have met me before I started my spiritual journey, I was pretty much like a human robot. I thought I could do everything. I could do everything for everyone. The only person I would never think about was myself. So now, in order to break that pattern, I have a point of getting one nap a day. Usually that nap is between 20 minutes to 30 minutes, not very much. But what that has shown me is to give myself a time to just kind of recuperate, to take some time out of my busy life. And it's really interesting because one time I mentioned to someone about napping, they said, oh, that must be nice. And I thought immediately, without even like a thought, I was like, oh, it really sounds like you need a nap. And you clearly don't take any naps. Because here's the thing. Those people that think that it's a luxury, it's a luxury because they don't feel they deserve that. Now, the reason why we're so programmed to go, go, go, so when we stop and we say, I'm gonna listen to myself, it seems like a selfish act. But let's break down selfishness. It's self first. Self first is what everybody should be practicing in their life. Because if you're not balanced and if you're not feeling okay, how can you be there for anybody else? How can you be there for yourself? Or how can you be at peace with just your own. Being able to judge things or being able to not judge things. I should say being able to react to things. [00:34:52] Speaker A: I think also too, some people might be saying that from perspective of it's so nice you can do that because they're going a million miles an hour with work. Like, I don't have time in my schedule for a nap where that would be nice, but I don't have time for that. Where do you suggest? Well, one of the Things you could be looking at is. Yes. If you don't have that, how do I change my habits and behaviors so that I'm, you know, turning off my phone a little bit earlier so I'm winding my brain down so I can go to bed a little bit earlier? Like, if that isn't a nap, isn't something you could do. What can you do to make more peace and reflection? [00:35:25] Speaker B: Reflective meditation. [00:35:27] Speaker A: Yes. [00:35:27] Speaker B: That doesn't mean you have to get into a lotus position. You just close your eyes, relax for a little bit, and just see wherever your mind is taking you, even focusing on your breathing. Yeah, the. My guides are saying this. I'm going to be very unpopular for saying this, but they're pushing me. How much time do you spend in front of the television if you could take 10 minutes out from your TV or scrolling. Yes, well, you already mentioned scrolling, but the guides are really saying television. Telling me it's like, just assess that is there. Could you. Could you break away from 10 minutes from your regular TV routine to give a little time to yourself? Not necessarily to go into deep trance, but just to close your eyes and relax, you know? And then it's bringing me up to, you know, our tarot. I'm sorry, Our Reiki teacher, Sister Babs. Bab's always had the. The potty prayer. She said if you don't have time while you're going to the bathroom at some point, aren't you? Yeah, well, do a little potty prayer. [00:36:37] Speaker A: Oh, that's funny. [00:36:38] Speaker B: You don't remember her saying that? [00:36:40] Speaker A: I don't. That's. Thank you for sharing that. I probably needed to hear that one. [00:36:45] Speaker B: That's the one for busy moms. [00:36:47] Speaker A: Right? Right. I love that. So, Lily, you shared that you do the light language journaling and you sing. And is there something else that's like kind of your go to self care, self love thing? Other than the art and some of those things you mentioned, I was having. [00:37:01] Speaker B: Kind of a wonky, weird day before these guys arrived. So I pulled out my drum and I drummed and I just let whatever beat comes through. That's almost. That's a form of meditation, too. [00:37:15] Speaker A: Sure. [00:37:15] Speaker B: You know, I wasn't trying to control the beat. I was just going. So sometimes it was soft and sometimes it was split beat up, and sometimes it was hard. And it was just allowing me to get that energy out so that I could try to get myself a little more balanced than I was feeling. So. And you don't have to have a drum to drum. You know, you can do it on the table. [00:37:34] Speaker A: Right? [00:37:35] Speaker B: You know, so if nothing else, you can just drum to your own heartbeat because that gets you in sync with your heart. [00:37:46] Speaker A: How do you treat yourself? What would be a treat that'd be like, I'm gonna do this. And it's not something you would rarely use as your. As your go to self care, but what would feel something like you're treating yourself Anything. [00:37:59] Speaker B: Chocolate. [00:37:59] Speaker A: Okay. [00:38:01] Speaker B: I mean, anything. Guys, you can send me chocolate. [00:38:04] Speaker A: It's funny because when we showed up today, we were like, Emerald's like, I've got dip and these nice crackers and stuff. And he's pulling out chocolate and I'm pulling out chocolate and bagels and stuff. And we're like, hey, this is kind of fun. Let's. Let's kind of set this up as a routine. And I feel like that's good self care for us because it's putting ourselves, valuing our friendship and putting ourselves in a good vibrational state of caring for ourselves before we do the podcast. So there's an example right there of something that we can implement to. To care for ourselves in this endeavor. [00:38:38] Speaker B: Oh, oh. Plus your heart. Oh, yeah, I forgot about this, you guys. If you put your hand on your heart and hold it there for just a little bit of time, it releases the same chemicals as getting a hug. So talk about self care. You can do that anytime, pretty much almost anywhere. [00:38:56] Speaker A: Another one that I saw just the other day, I forget there's a name. You actually hug yourself. You put your arms around yourself and something physically happens. He was explaining it of how just holding and hugging yourself put your arms around yourself, how that does something energetically in your body to calm your nervous system. So I love these. [00:39:15] Speaker B: So either one, if you're feeling like kind of forgetting to give yourself the self love, those are. Those are some actual physical ones that work. Go ahead, Emeril. [00:39:24] Speaker A: I was wondering what your list or some of the things that are you use. [00:39:28] Speaker C: So one of the things that I like to really do and I have to do every single morning, otherwise I would just be not okay. Is grounding. With grounding, there's also like a nature thing that you can do. So for example, walking can ground you just going on a walk, but more importantly, just having your bare feet on the ground. Like it sometimes, like when we're indoors too, like, you don't necessarily have to because I know with this weather, when it gets rainy, it's like muddy and stuff, so you don't have to do it necessarily. But even being barefoot, like on your own home, setting the intention to ground really helps. And what grounding does it, it takes away the excess energy that you're like kind of over. And even when you're overthinking, when you had a rough day, when you're just very overwhelmed, it's like, it's so much energy that you pick up that just grounding, it's excellent. There's grounding mats, there's grounding pads that you can put your feet on when you come home. Like you can just take off your socks and set them on here again. It's almost about yes. Is it like they're not, they're not that expensive. You can find them on Amazon. It's a great way to just self care. And this is something that's gonna, you're gonna be able to have with you for a long time. Like, meaning they last for a while. [00:40:50] Speaker B: I have a grounding mat on my bed. [00:40:52] Speaker C: Yep. And the other thing too is like every day we go through and we experience so many things and a lot of the times we pick up so much and then we take it as guilt every single day. Forgive yourself for anything that went in, that happened in your life that you had no control of. And the only control you truly have is your own feelings. Forgive yourself. Give yourself the love that you need. It's really important. Self forgiveness is like huge. And the thing is it makes you feel good about yourself. It's like, let's say you even had a rough day with your significant other or even with a family member. Just forgive yourself for the things. And it's like when you do practice the forgiveness, often you realize that you don't let things overwhelm you. Especially you learn that you can't control anybody else. And the only true control you have is over yourself and over your own feelings. [00:41:59] Speaker A: I'm so glad you brought that up because yeah, that is key. Forgiveness. [00:42:03] Speaker B: It goes beyond the day. [00:42:06] Speaker A: Right. [00:42:06] Speaker B: Because you can look at how you reacted to something in the past you're still feeling guilty about. And the most important thing recognizes that is that you did the best you knew at that time or you wouldn't have done it now. You've got better insights now. So now you can look back on it and forgive yourself like that. [00:42:23] Speaker A: Forgiveness. How often do we give compassion and forgiveness to others and we forget ourselves in that whole. [00:42:30] Speaker B: I end up saying that to people in tarot readings all the time, especially if I get that empress card. Yeah. It's like, are you as kind to yourself as you are to others? And you can just like. And. And I think that's true for almost all of us. We. We are our toughest critics, number one. But also, we extend so much kindness to others, and why don't we do it for ourselves? You're absolutely right, Emeril. I love that one. Yeah. [00:42:57] Speaker C: And then the other thing. The other thing that I love that I absolutely. This is my favorite practice for myself, is gratitude. And I do it in journal form, so I do it in the morning, and I usually do it at night, if I remember, because sometimes I'm going to be real. I will get really tired, and I will say it verbally, but I won't write it down. But when you write it down, it's almost like it puts another layer of energy to it. It's just really meaningful, and it just really gets on there. So I would suggest getting a. A journal and then just writing down just simple five things in the morning that you're grateful for. It could be waking up that day. It could be like, I'm breathing. So many people don't, like, okay, you guys, this is like the simplest thing that I'm just gonna break it down the most. How do you expect for the universe, God, whatever you believe in to bring things your way when you're not even grateful for the things you have? Do you really think that a heart that's not full of gratitude is gonna be open to receiving things? [00:43:58] Speaker B: Now, I like that practice, too, but I usually just do it in my head. Five things. Yep. @ morning, at night. And one of the things I'm often doing is at least one part of my body. Because you guys know who've been sick. When your body's not working, you sure appreciate it when it gets better, right? So why not appreciate it now, right? I mean, it doesn't have to be, thank you for all the golden riches I have. It's like, wow, thank you. This body's functional. [00:44:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:27] Speaker A: One of the messages I'm hearing to share is, you are worth the effort. When you're starting these new habits, it is hard some days to do that. And sometimes you have to coach yourself along and be the cheerleader and be that person in your head to say, you know, get up and do this. Go. You know, brush your teeth, like I said, brush your hair, take a shower. Some days, the simplest things I notice, it's like, why is this hard for me today? Hearing you are worth the effort, you know, you are care, love, and devotion. You are all these things, and the embodiment of that is so important. You are worth investing in. If there's something that's like you're denying yourself and it's like. But you really feel called. It's like, I know this, that I would really be able to care for myself. You're worthy of that investment. You are investing in yourself or you're investing in others or other things around you. And so this is I think a great conversation around that. Self care, self. [00:45:27] Speaker B: Can I rephrase that? [00:45:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:28] Speaker B: You're investing yourself so that you can invest in others. [00:45:31] Speaker A: Exactly. Yes. Thank you. Taking it. I mean really, it's like giving from that empty will. Like I was saying is we can't help others and do the things that we, we're all meant here to be, here to help and serve. And we're no different than anybody else is. We're, we're, we're in. We are, you know, humans too. We make mistakes. We were no better than anybody else. We're just sharing what we've learned and things that we've gone through. And that I think is so true. [00:45:57] Speaker B: So what's been most uplifting techniques for you? [00:46:01] Speaker A: For me, usually music is one of my top go to's. [00:46:04] Speaker B: Oh yes. [00:46:05] Speaker A: I love the frequency music especially I've gotten to where I'm doing when I'm eating. I'm listening to healing frequencies when I'm eating. I notice it just helps digestion and it puts me in a good state. Last night I was at the creek and doing a fire and now we go there. We. We play like this flute music. So it helps for me to connect to where we used to listen to rock and like enjoy listening to different bands. And now it's like we're both like, God, this feels so much different when we change the music. And so we've done that going outside in nature. You mentioned the grounding. That's always a go to for me. I love dancing, like just you know. [00:46:49] Speaker B: That people like that to raise their vibes. [00:46:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I as an Aries and holding a lot of energy sometimes it's like I can feel it, it needs to move it. But I don't want to per se exercise or walk, which I really should do. So I might start cleaning and moving the clutter or changing the way things feel in a space. I might, you know, rearrange things. That's kind of my pattern. I love to drink a lot of high vibe water. So I have a hydrogen rich water. So it's like, okay, have I drank enough water today? I'm feeling really tired. Okay. So there's different things that I use to raise my vibration. Oh, I love to buy flowers. That's something. It's like you say what lifts your is a quick lift. If I'm out in the store and I'm grocery shopping, I usually peruse around. Just even looking at the roses does something for me. The colors, it just, it's like a hive energy. And you know, some flowers are on sale. I'll buy myself some of those. And that's a self care thing that I do. And then sometimes it's just looking for that inspiration. If I'm needing something to kind of just mindless. I'll look through like Pinterest for beautiful pictures or homes or different things. And I'm like, oh, I love how that looks. That's so beautiful. So beauty is a big one for me too. [00:48:06] Speaker B: I just thought of something for self care for the three, because of the three of us. And I know not everybody has this option, but you probably will eventually on the spiritual path. But you also have to be willing to ask for help sometimes. So we're lucky that the three of us have gone to each other at many, many different points our spiritual journey and just gone. I need some help today because I'm all over the place or whatever it might be, or I'm feeling a little down or I'm confused. And if you can have someone who you can trust and they don't even have to be on the spiritual journey if you've already got a really, really good friend who just listens and you can talk to. But it sure helps to have someone who's got an idea of these spiritual concepts too. [00:48:55] Speaker A: I just thought of one. [00:48:57] Speaker B: That vulnerability, that is love. [00:48:59] Speaker A: Oh yeah. [00:48:59] Speaker B: I mean that's self love. You have to be willing to be vulnerable. But boy, that is hard. [00:49:04] Speaker A: That is really hard. Another one that I thought of is what I'm holding in my hands right now, which is I was thinking of your journey of self love and care for yourself during a really hard period of your life. And Lola went to crystals you found. I would come and there'd be a package in the mail and you would be like excited about these new crystals you were getting. And, and they were helping you process the grief and loss you were going through as being a mother with your cat. And so sometimes it is like for I said me and you joked because we love to shop or at least we love getting things. It's like we have a very similar aesthetic. And it's like, yeah, retail therapy is a thing and it's been kind of hard because a lot of shops around us have closed, so we don't have that to go to maybe as much as we used to. I mean, I used to do that a lot to shift my energy, to be honest. [00:49:56] Speaker B: Well, we still have mystical wares with a lot of great rocks. Minerals. [00:50:00] Speaker A: Exactly. And so it's just crystals. Yes. So I'm looking around your place and know that that was a way that you cared for yourself during a really hard period of life. [00:50:10] Speaker B: Well, then that goes back to being a kid too. I forgot about this because I was one of those kids who always had their face down when they were walking because I was always looking for cool rocks. [00:50:19] Speaker A: Oh, really? I didn't know that. [00:50:21] Speaker B: I had a big, huge rock collection. Nothing fancy. I just thought they were cool, you know, like, oh, that one's pretty. That one's got a line around it. And I got in trouble one time because I. I would wash my rocks. Oh. I kept them in a coffee can, a couple coffee cans, and every once I take them out to wash them. And I washed them in the laundry sink, and I ruined the ceramic and the laundry sink. Sink. [00:50:45] Speaker A: Your mom's like, oh, Lola's been in here again. I see all the dirt. [00:50:48] Speaker B: What happened here? Well, I gave. I. I gave my rocks a bath, so I've always liked them. Yeah, yeah. They. They've always been special to me. Yeah. Okay. [00:51:00] Speaker C: Another thing too, that before we forget is that to r. Like to really feel good and to raise your vibration is laughter. [00:51:09] Speaker A: Ah, yes. [00:51:10] Speaker C: Finding things that make you laugh, even faking laughing will raise your vibration. The fastest way to raise your vibration is by laughing. So think of, like, movies that really make you laugh or things that you really enjoy that make you laugh. That's also a way of just. The thing is, nobody's aiming to be perfect because there's no such thing. What we're trying to do is be balanced with our emotions. And sometimes when we see that we're not feeling that well or that our frequency is really becoming low, a good way to raise it. It's what. It's what we supposed to do. So, like, being aware. Okay, I'm not feeling that well. However, if I watch something that's funny, I'm gonna raise my vibration so that way I'm no longer in that lower vibration. [00:52:03] Speaker B: Mm. [00:52:04] Speaker C: It's almost like the. The true self love and self care that you do for yourself is knowing that you deserve a better life than just a lower vibrational life. And we know when we stay with low Vibrations. That's the. That's. That's what we're opening up to, receiving. And then if we shift it out and not everything has to be perfect, but just be aware when you're not feeling that great, to just shift it. That's all it takes. Like, even us, I'm sure that we don't have. We're not 24 7, like love and light, but we don't need to be because we know how to shift that energy. [00:52:38] Speaker A: You know, it's such a key. And I'm hearing this is kind of like not maybe said specifically is awareness that checking in with yourself. So if you're not aware, like, I wasn't. That I didn't even like myself, for example, in that. That example I gave with the chiropractor. Once I was aware that there was something here to look at, I could be like, well, what is this about, Pamela? Let's look at this. As you go through this, you get better. Like, I'm so much better at caring for myself now than when I started. And so I've grown with that. And so now in the moments when something's off, I'm like, what do I need right now in this moment to care for myself? And so usually intuitively kind of kind. [00:53:19] Speaker B: Of scan your body or what do you. [00:53:22] Speaker A: I usually hear it because, you know, big. Yeah. [00:53:28] Speaker B: That's why tarot is good, too, because it shows us things we weren't aware of that need working on. [00:53:32] Speaker A: Yeah, that's a great tool. [00:53:34] Speaker C: Another thing too, though, that I wanted to mention is, even though I think we've already mentioned it before, is meditation. But the true essence of meditation is learning how to have peace within you and allowing the thoughts to just kind of go through and you realizing that those thoughts aren't necessarily you, but just allowing them to kind of flow through you. Like just listening to the thoughts that come in because you can't shut off the thoughts. That's not what meditation is supposed to be. Meditation is more about being at peace with yourself, is about relaxing, and it's about finding that inner peace. And you're gonna find it that when you do focus in meditation, there will still be those thoughts, maybe even those thoughts that you really necessarily, necessarily are not the greatest thoughts. But you're gonna observe them as an observer and just allow them to just kind of go through until you find that peace. The more you do it, the more you start training your mind to be at peace. It was never to be a shut off of everything or to shut off your ideas. Because that's not what it's for. [00:54:40] Speaker B: Brain can't even do that anyway. Yeah, but people think that. [00:54:45] Speaker C: But that's also. Well, which we'll talk about it later in another episode. But one of the things is, like, being spiritual is a lot like, well, in this aspect is just that self love is really finding the things that make you feel good in general, that can be so different for every one of us. And it's more about going on that hunt of what does make me enjoy life, what does make me feel good. Could be something as simple as drawing in a drawing coloring book. Yeah. [00:55:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:17] Speaker A: Mine for next year. Next year. This year we're into it is yoga. So I have always been super intimidated. I've tried it a few times and it was really cringy and I was so awkward and the class was. It was not. It did not leave a good memory in my head. But I know it doesn't have to be that way. But I noticed, like, my daughter was like, there's gentle yoga. There's these different types. And I was like, okay, I would like to feel a little more connected to my body. So I've been asking, like, what are ways that I can care for myself that will make a stronger connection between me and my body? And I keep coming back to yoga. So notice if there's something that's coming in your awareness where you're like, I keep seeing this class or this person or that thing. You're. You're often getting a message of what's best for. For you on your journey. And so notice the things that are coming up in your awareness. [00:56:12] Speaker B: Pay attention to that. Yes, but I think the most important thing is you have to feel worthy of taking care of yourself and trying these things. It all comes down to self worth. So we're going to have to end this podcast pretty soon. But I actually found out recently I was saying affirmations wrong. So you could use this toward worthiness. Instead of saying, I am or I am bringing this in, you should be saying, now that I am. Now that I am putting myself first, now that I feel worthy of this. You can fill in the blanks for the rest of the sentence, but that's what I want to leave you with, self worth. You can start by the affirmations. Now that I am worthy of doing this, I will. [00:57:04] Speaker A: I'm glad that you said that because when you first start out, the worthiness is a journey. It is a path. So if you're saying, oh, the first part is worthiness, well, what if I don't feel worthy. I'm coming to you saying, well, this is something I'm struggling with. [00:57:18] Speaker B: We all do, right? [00:57:19] Speaker A: So it's a journey to get there so you don't have to wait for that day to suddenly feel worthy to start doing that. You start caring and doing these things now. And I love that tip of now that I am. Whatever. [00:57:30] Speaker B: I wish I had known this a long time ago. [00:57:33] Speaker A: We always learn something new together, too, I think, which is awesome. [00:57:37] Speaker B: Okay, so you. You guys, please, please practice that one because it's a goodie. Okay. And I don't know what else we say at the end here. [00:57:45] Speaker C: Thank you for being here. Please share it with a friend, anyone that could benefit from our podcast. We would really appreciate it. [00:57:52] Speaker A: And thank you so much for spending time with us. We hope this helps you in some ways, and we're sending you lots of good energy and love. [00:57:59] Speaker B: And loving yourself is a process, so be kind to yourself on the journey. [00:58:03] Speaker A: Bye.