A PERSONAL JOURNEY WITH AYAHUASCA

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey hosted by two fellow travelers who found a soul connection on the path to higher consciousness. Our goal is to help you navigate the choppy waters you're likely to encounter on the spiritual path by sharing our experiences with you each week. Join us as we spill the tea on what it is like to wake up to your authenticity self. Hello, I am Lola Singer and we're going to have a special episode today that centers on the experiences of my co host. [00:00:37] Speaker B: Yes, my name is Amarl and. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Today we decided to turn tables, I guess, for lack of a better word. I just, I partook in a three day retreat doing ayahuasca, which is plant medicine. And with that came a lot of, like a lot of things came up for me and it would be. We decided it would be a good idea to kind of go through it and just kind of break it down and talk about it, which I'm more than happy to, as well as give information about ayahuasca because I know that everyone that has been in the spiritual journey has once upon a time heard about ayahuasca or even maybe looked it up. But maybe this will get you to finally decide if that is a calling for you or not, or just, I guess, talk more about the actual experience itself. [00:01:35] Speaker A: Yes, and this is Lola again, and I have no experience with ayahuasca. I also have not heard about much about your retreat yet. So I'm kind of like you, the audience members. I'm going to be asking questions as we go along and, and we may talk about other plant medicine experiences we've had, both you and I, but I think that's one of the most important things about ayahuasca. You know, you felt the call. I have never felt the call and I trust myself on that. So. [00:02:07] Speaker A: I don't think there's a right or wrong when it comes to it. I think it's just knowing whether something feels like it's right to you or not. [00:02:16] Speaker B: Yes. [00:02:17] Speaker A: And it felt very right to you. This, this part I do know of your story because it just kind of. Everything was a series of synchronicities to lead you to even thinking about trying it this time. So why don't you tell the people how everything just fell together so beautifully that I mean, it was really hard to ignore the signs. [00:02:38] Speaker B: Yes. So there was two things. So first of all, the first call. [00:02:44] Speaker B: I got a call from one of my friends just saying that, hey, I want to talk to you about a plant medicine retreat. I Attended. And I was wondering if maybe you'd be interested. But she never said anything about what it was or what type of plant it was. [00:03:00] Speaker B: I was meeting up with her, and I arrived to her the place where she does her. Because she does sound healing an hour before. And that hour before was way too early. She wasn't even there. And all she said is, arrive a little bit earlier so we can talk about it. And so I decided to go to this park close nearby it that has water and has this beautiful bridge. And it's just. I wanted to just relax. It kind of zone out. So as I get there, as I pull in with my car, as I'm getting out of the car, the thing that's in my mind is. [00:03:36] Speaker B: The question that came up was, who are you outside of the character that you're playing? Which I thought that was very interesting because I never really thought about that before. I went up to this little rail, and I saw that there were some pigeons. And every time I see animals, I start kind of like sending reiki to them. But what was really interesting is the more I kind of focus on that question, the more things started happening. Like, for example, the elements really started acting up. First, it was the water. I'd look at the water, and the water started moving, but it started moving in a very different way. Like, it was a circular way. And I saw literally, like, doing this circular thing, and all of a sudden. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Like a vortex. [00:04:21] Speaker B: Yeah, like kind of a vortex type thing right in front of me. Because I could see the water, like, right below me. [00:04:28] Speaker B: And I felt the wind, and the wind started picking up. But the weird thing about the wind is it started picking up. The pigeons flew and they flew to the right, but then all these pigeons out of everywhere just flew in with it. And the wind started doing kind of like the same circular motion around me, and the pigeon started flying in that circular motion. And at first, it was really fascinating to look at how everything was just playing, Playing out. It almost felt like it was like a movie playing in front of me. Surreal, huh? Yeah. But then it startled me because I was like, what the heck is this? And then I stepped back, and as I stepped back, I broke the focus, and the kind of things started going back to. To being how they were before. And I heard a voice from Spirit that say, why are you so afraid to finding out who you truly are? And that was. That really weighed on me, because if there's one thing I have told myself that I want to challenge for the rest of my life is Any fear I have. So that was a direct, like, to the core. I felt like. Like I cannot have anything give me fear or produce fear in my life. I just cannot handle that. So when I went to my friend's Sound Healing, she mentions. [00:05:50] Speaker B: About the plant medicine retreat that she attended was ayahuasca, and if I would be interested. So when I first started my awakening journey, I heard about ayahuasca because I feel like it's hard for people not to hear about it. I watched many documentaries, but totally not my call at all. Like, completely was just like, yeah, this is not for me. So when she mentioned about ayahuasca, it had a different. [00:06:16] Speaker B: Energetic feel to it. [00:06:20] Speaker A: Okay. I've known you long enough to know a little bit of this background, because there was that point where you. You were curious about ayahuasca. [00:06:26] Speaker B: I was. My curiosity extended as far as watching documentaries and things about it, but I wasn't. It wasn't a call yet. [00:06:35] Speaker A: Yeah, because I remember because you were cutting my hair and you asked, you know, you were proposing going to a retreat in California, and you trusted me enough intuitively to ask me, you know, do you feel like that's right for me? And at the time, I had to be honest with him. I didn't feel like it was right for him at the time. And I'm glad you asked, because I think this is a very important plant medicine to do in the right timing. And that's when I heard in my head, oh, tell them about the frogs and the cambo. So when we went off on a cambo adventure. But you were ready for that at the time. I don't think you were ready for ayahuasca. [00:07:12] Speaker B: No, I don't think so. [00:07:13] Speaker A: I think doing cambo, especially the way we did it with the warriors version, was a good preparation. [00:07:20] Speaker B: I think so, too. I think that everything comes to us when we're ready to. In. The biggest thing about ayahuasca is there's a huge, Like, I have a huge respect for it. Like, I feel that you should be called to it, because if you're not being called to it, then it loses the. The power of the medicine that it's going to bring to you. [00:07:42] Speaker A: And you were called because everything fell into place. You had this invitation. You had had this interesting experience. Experience watching nature that you had already been almost in an altered state watching. [00:07:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:56] Speaker A: So you were taking that all as signs, and I do, too. I think those were very positive signs. When you told me about them, it was like, yep, he's ready this time. [00:08:04] Speaker B: And then what's really interesting was I had the. The synchronicity factor. Because for me, if I have to decide on something, I tell Spirit that he. That spirit has to make it pretty obvious, like, really black and white signs that something is meant for me. So I said, spirit, if it's really meant for me, I want you to show it to me, But I want you to show it to me pretty clear that it's not. Like I have to, like, break it down and break all the same information and so show me it's available. Well, first of all, I was like, the first thing that needs to happen is my funds. Because at that time, I was like, if I don't. I don't have the funds right now. So if you make them appear for me, that would be, like, one way to know. So my first, very first synchronicity was when I heard my friend talk to me about the Ayahuasca medicine and how the energetic feel of when she was talking about it felt different. Completely different. [00:09:07] Speaker B: Then I came home, and when I watched more things about it and read things about it, the feel was completely different. The next week. [00:09:19] Speaker B: All I asked was for Spirit to kind of, like, pretty much help me to give the deposit. By next week, I already had the whole amount to pay for it. So that was the second synchronicity. And then once I finally connected with the person, it turned out that the dates that they were going to be the last day was my actual birthday. So it was quite crazy to have those synchronicities. And. [00:09:47] Speaker B: I honestly feel like that was the best present I could have ever given myself. I don't think I've ever received such, like, profound birthday present that it was just incredible. [00:10:00] Speaker A: So. So what were your perceptions of Ayahuasca going into it? Because I. I don't know much about it, I'm going to be perfectly honest. And a lot of people in the audience don't know a lot about it either. I've read about other people's experiences. Some of them have been extremely profound. But what. What was your perception of it? [00:10:20] Speaker B: I honestly came in because what. What I decided to do is I had decided to do a different approach. Normally, I, knowing myself, I get too caught up with, like, trying to really figure out and go into it saying, like, oh, what is it about what is exactly that I'm going to feel and everything. So one of the things on the first day that I watch it, that it said that really resonated with me, is that everybody gets a different Experience because it's based on off of what you're ready to experience, where you're at, where your growth and the amount of surrendering that you do to it. Because if you have a preset motion of this is what I need to experience, this is what I'm going to experience. You're blocking yourself. So but going back a little bit, because I knew it was a hallucinogenic, I was questioning how it was going to work out because growing up I have done mushrooms, so that's hallucinogenic as well. [00:11:20] Speaker B: But. [00:11:23] Speaker B: I guess mushrooms are very different because the hallucinogenic part of the mushrooms was very real life hallucinogenic. Like for example, you would see things as like you're already like with your eyes open. With ayahuasca you could see things while you're on medicine, but yet taking the medicine, but yet the part that was completely mind blown hallucinations was the moment you close your eyes because then you went almost like on this journey of just really deep self discovery. And what ayahuasca is known is the veil revealer. So any veils that you have that you're covered with that you would have not had access to, anything on your subconscious that you have been keeping yourself away from is going to come out. So there is no hiding. [00:12:11] Speaker A: Which is why you try to purify beforehand. [00:12:14] Speaker B: Yes. And that's another thing that's very, very important. And I do have to like, thank God you just mentioned it because I was just thinking like, oh yeah, like that is like super important. So there is a diet in a cleansing that you need to do before and it's just clean eating. And you can pretty much find out all the information online because now like it's been so practiced for so many years that there's all these information. And literally I would go to the grocery store and be like, can I get this? And then I would ask it and be like, no, and this would be the reasons or yes, but it needs to be cooked this way in order to be clean eating. [00:12:47] Speaker A: So he would just do Internet search. [00:12:49] Speaker B: Yes. And it's literally no condiments, no spices, no citrusy foods, no sugar, no red meat, no pork. [00:12:59] Speaker A: But you guys, Ameril and I love spicy food. So that was so hard. I mean, literally no spicy buses to prepare. And that was for four weeks. You did that? [00:13:10] Speaker B: I did it for actually a. A month and a half. [00:13:14] Speaker A: A month and a half. [00:13:15] Speaker B: Because I actually started earlier. Because the thing about me is I have to tend to my health needs and One of the things is I had had some lab work because I am diabetic. My H1C was a little bit higher than normal. So I knew that if I really wanted to do this, I needed to be dedicated. So that means my A1C needed to be dropped so I could be in good standings for it. And so I did it for a month and a half. And within that month and a half, it was pretty extreme. I think that my saving thing, well, I could use Himalayan salt, which is like one thing that saved my food, because otherwise it would have been so bland. But. [00:13:57] Speaker B: The one thing that was very interesting is that. [00:14:02] Speaker B: They said you can have, ideally you don't want to have really like full amounts of caffeine, which to this point I was having before I was having coffee all the time, like every single day. And I started this diet, this clean eating diet. And I switched from coffee to green tea, which subconsciously goes the best decision of my life. Because when I actually started doing the clean eating it, well, green tea is known as a natural detoxer of the body as well. So it helped me with getting my sugar cravings out of the way so they wouldn't affect me. It helped me to get the car cravings out of the way and it really helped me with getting also caffeine cravings out of the way. But funny enough, during, before I even went to Ayahuasca, you already connect with the frequency and that type of medicine. So I was having all sorts of weird dreams. I was having major releases before I could even attended the retreat. Because one of the things that I've always worked on, I've always worked on the spirit and the mind, but the body kind of left behind. And the reason why was because I was very abusive to my body growing up. [00:15:21] Speaker B: Now I realize how abused. Like I realized it was shown to me how abusive I actually was. But it was also shown to me that my body, our bodies, I should say in plural, they don't. It doesn't hate us, it's just looking to make peace with us. So it doesn't really matter how we treated it. As long as we're able to forgive ourselves, we're able to establish a new relationship. But it was really extreme because I was going through so much clearing of things that where I didn't have that good relationship with my body, those deep parts of me. Because what I. What I used to do well, my diet depict like I had a whole bunch of crashes that took a whole bunch of things that were spikes that were not Good. Like carb spikes, sugar spikes, and caffeine spikes really were like a definition of my daily diet that I was following. So that wasn't good for me in general, but it was also very eye opening for me to realize those things before and clear those things out. So. [00:16:28] Speaker B: It'S interesting because the first thing, when we went to the ayahuasca, they kind of asked us, like, why are you here for? And I was like, well, my thing about me is I'm just open to the experience. My biggest thing that was asked that I felt is like, who am I outside of this character that I've been playing? And I wanted to discover that. But that's pretty much kind of like where my intention was kind of based, because they said it's good to set up an intention. And that was the only intention that really I set up for it. [00:16:58] Speaker A: Before we go too deep into this, I got to ask this question on behalf of myself and the audience members. So you preparatory. You did very well. Why? Why did they have you do all of that clean eating to prepare? [00:17:12] Speaker B: So we all gather toxins in our bodies. So ayahuasca, when it goes in, the more toxins are in your body, the less it can really work to the fullest. It needs to. And there's an important. [00:17:26] Speaker B: Ingredient found mostly in pork, but a lot of things have it, such as red meat. Even spinach has high amounts of it. And that really contradicts with ayahuasca, meaning when if you did medicine without following a proper diet and that you were eating things are really high on that, you would get an excruciating migraine headache the whole time instead of getting any benefits from the medicine itself. [00:17:54] Speaker A: Thank you for explaining that, because I think that's very important information people to know so they can make their choices. [00:17:59] Speaker B: Yep. And in fact, that was one of the things that was mentioned too, while I watch a lot of documentaries, is that the people that got the most profound work out of ayahuasca were the people that followed in actual cleanse themselves and prepped themselves. Because there was like, people that said that had horrible experiences with it. They also were not following any diets. [00:18:25] Speaker A: Well, that's why I asked that question, because here's my honest opinion about what I've observed with people in the spiritual community. When they talk about ayahuasca. I think a lot of them think it's a shortcut to spirituality. And they're not. Not willing to do their prep work even to look within themselves first, let alone change their diets. They Just think it's going to be like it like taking a pill, you know, instant, instant spirituality. That's why I think it's so vital for people to hear what you're sharing with them so that you know it isn't, it is not a shortcut and it requires discipline. Okay, sorry. [00:19:02] Speaker B: Oh no, you're totally good. Thank you for bringing that up. Actually. That's like perfect for the audience to know. And so there's different. So where it's practiced the most common it's in Amazonian regions such as Peru, Ecuador, Colombia and Brazil. [00:19:17] Speaker B: Normally when you get it for a retreat, it comes from a certain place. It's, it's, it's a really good. [00:19:25] Speaker B: It shows really good as far as quality goes when whoever is doing the retreat for you can tell you where, where their ayahuasca is coming from. So ours was coming from Brazil. [00:19:39] Speaker B: Funny enough. I have this big connection to Brazil and I got to go more in depth with it because when I. [00:19:46] Speaker A: Your name is Brazilian? [00:19:47] Speaker B: Yeah, it's Portuguese. Emerald is a Portuguese name. And the thing that was really interesting is when I first took the first drink, I kid you guys not, the cell remembrance. I remember the smell and the taste and I'm like, I've had this before, but not in this lifetime. And when I was, when days before, spirit came to me and said like you have done it many, many times before in other lifetimes. It's just this lifetime that's is your first time, but you're doing good. Like this is fine. So one of the things that I want to also explain about ayahuasca. Ayahuasca is a vine, but also when you get ayahuasca, it's a mixture of the ayahuasca vine as well as a shrub called chakuna and how they work together. It's kind of like think of one as the car and the other one is the gas. Without the mixture of the two that doesn't work. In fact, shukrona is responsible for the hallucinogenic part of it. While ayahuasca just kind of guides the way. [00:20:54] Speaker B: It is. We. I did a three day retreat. [00:20:58] Speaker B: During the. The three day retreat, it's in ceremony thing. So it's very done very respectfully. It's done very. [00:21:09] Speaker B: The first thing that's thought about it's through the healing part of it. And that is what it's mentioned to you about how healing it is. And it's funny because they said like you don't have to, but we suggest you guys wear White just because colors mean different things. And with white you're just open to the experience. [00:21:28] Speaker B: I had to make a joke about it being me and I said, well, you know what the number one color is for cults? [00:21:38] Speaker B: And of course it's white. He, he was like, let's, let's change the word cult to community. [00:21:47] Speaker A: That was a good way to handle it. And so this is another thing I think we kind of glossed over. [00:21:53] Speaker A: You were having weekly pre session or pre retreat meetings to help you not only prepare with the physical diet, but to prepare emotionally and mentally for it. [00:22:05] Speaker B: So a good facilitator, what they're gonna do is they're gonna leave themselves open to any questions you have, then they're going to check on you. And then we had a meeting where it was all of us that were doing it for the first time, except for the ones that couldn't attend it, but it was through a video chat and we got to ask any question we had and kind of go on off of what we have been doing. And this is like right before we started because ideally the recommended time for you to do do the cleanup is two weeks before. But because I had previous medicine things, issues, I really wanted to make sure I started first. And I got confused thinking that from the dates I started in a date and it turned out to be a month and a half instead of a month. [00:22:52] Speaker A: But this is what I like about what you told me about this is that it sounds so responsible. [00:22:58] Speaker B: It is. [00:22:59] Speaker A: The facilitator is helping you prepare for it in so many different ways and making him or herself available as well for questions even outside of those that meeting. I, I, I really respect that. I really do. And I would imagine most good facilitators, like you said, would do that because it's a big, it's a big emotional journey. [00:23:24] Speaker B: It is. And not only that, but they even have even extended extended branches to that. So one of the things that they let us know is they had a nutritionist that works with people doing ayahuasca that can help you with certain ingredients, certain recipes, certain things that like you can talk to them and you can book sessions. They also had a. [00:23:45] Speaker B: Someone that was a psychologist that had major in hallucinogenic and psychology. So, so he offered sessions as well for us to, if we wanted to take advantage of those sessions. So it was just really, it was, that's one thing that really impressed me is how expanded it was. And then even afterwards we did a call and integration call like a week after and then There's a guy that brings does integration meetings once a week and those are offered for free. Free is just part of like hit. That's his way of helping out. And he's also a therapist as well. [00:24:27] Speaker A: So did that help you have? Did you. Let me rephrase this. I was about to say something. Did it cause you to have pre expectations and if so, how were you able to go. Go into it and. And to allay those pre expectations a bit? [00:24:43] Speaker B: What it actually did as far as finding all that out is it gave me more comfort. Like it just made me realize that, okay, these people are serious about what they're doing. They're obviously more like as professional as I guess as you can be about it. And they have. They're showing us the respect that we need by being completely transparent and being able to answer any questions we have. But no, I didn't have really any expectations because again, one of the things I was working on is really surrendering. So I just kept. [00:25:15] Speaker B: Obviously there was a lot of work that I was doing to keep myself for that surrendering type mindset, such as if anything arose I would just kind of clear it out or I would kind of go deeper into it and kind of find a release for it. As far as like, for example, it's normal for people to normally be nervous. It's normal for people to be stressed about. So that was one of the things that they mentioned to us and about that, like sometimes it's just that unknowing or like questions that you may have. And so they were very open about doing that. But when we first met up, I was really excited and looking forward to it and nobody was excited. So that was like a kind of a weird. [00:25:57] Speaker A: They signed up but they weren't excited. Were they afraid of what they were going to learn about themselves? [00:26:02] Speaker B: I think that it was more of the hesitation of something being so different. And a lot of them have not really had any experience experience with hallucinogenics. So that's the other thing too. If you never had like, so if somebody tells you, oh, you're going to be doing plant medicine, it's going to be very hallucinogenic. And you have never even known what hallucinogenic is or practicing. Of course you're going to be nervous because you're going to be like what the heck? But because it is a very structured way of like you're going in and they're guiding you, like have an intention or just like definitely be open to the experience. And so you're. [00:26:40] Speaker B: You yourself, when that comes in, it's. It's strictly going into your subconscious and bringing out things from your subconscious. One of the things that one of my friends, My friend that had gone to the retreat that suggested it to me because I met up with her before we went and had. I had tea. We had tea at a coffee shop. [00:27:03] Speaker A: And couldn't have coffee. [00:27:04] Speaker B: Yeah, coffee. So we had tea. But one of the things I asked her is like, in your experience, what would. Like, if you could narrow it down in just a few words, what would those be? And she said. [00:27:17] Speaker B: It'S like 10 years of therapy in one session. Which I'm like, okay, that's really big claim. And I was like, okay, I'm not. I'm not sure if I can really, like, go by that claim, but I can 100 attest that it's true. Like now going into it and coming out of it and everything. Oh, man, it's so true. So when you take like, you. You start by prepping up and setting intention, and then you do a little chant that is just to open up more. And then the center, or the retreat, I should say, has a main center where we all end up kind of like sleeping. And we set up everything before, like, we have our bed set up because normally we want to lay down, but you can also sit down. There's access to restrooms. There's outside access too, but it's limited. They're like, don't wander off because you really don't want to wander off, but you are welcome to go outside. [00:28:18] Speaker B: They also tell you that the plant medicine, usually it's different with everyone and how quickly starts acting or take like your body starts recognizing. So some people is like, for me, it was 20 minutes on the dot every single time. But for some people may be faster. I would sit down and just kind of like, I would always have a mantra. And I like created a mantra through online and stuff. I said, I, like put my. What my intention. So it was based on the intention of just being open to finding out who am I outside of this character. So I would do the mantra. When I would take the medicine, I would do the mantra and just like be having that peaceful moment while you're on ceremony. You can't be talking to others, and you have to allow them to have their own experience. The reason being, which makes so much sense when I finally experienced the. The first ceremony is people go through different emotions. So part of those emotions is like you honoring those emotions for yourself as well as others. So if People are crying. [00:29:19] Speaker B: Unless they get in pretty bad shape. And that's when the. When the people, their facilitators, come up and check on them. But you yourself, your only thing is to stay in your lane. Of course, if somebody asks you a quick question, you can answer it. But more than anything, just to stay in your lane. Because when you interfere in somebody else's, then you're bringing in that energy to you and those worries come to you. So it's not going to benefit you at all. But once it starts, the biggest wave, or I should say the biggest strength, is the first two hours. Then after that, it slows down, but it doesn't stop. And actually, I think that the slow part is stronger than the faster part because the faster part just shows you different things, different emotions. But the after those two hours, it continues for about. [00:30:11] Speaker B: Five hours. [00:30:12] Speaker A: So when you say it shows you the emotions, did it obviously feel emotions? But, like, because it's a hallucinogen, I was about to ask, do you see, smell them, taste them? [00:30:21] Speaker B: So how it played out for me, I don't know if you guys have ever seen Tim Burton films, like, especially animated films, where they're very kind of like, have a certain way of the drawings being. That's how it was for me. I can't say that's for everyone. I can only share for mix experience. But the weird drawings, they're kind of a little bit on the dark side. That's how my visions were. But it would start in layers. So you start and something's playing out in front of you, and it's your subconscious bringing out a certain emotion that you haven't cleared or from the past. You see the emotion, you witness the emotion. You allow it to speak to you, meaning to fully let you know what the emotion is about. Once you understand it, you forgive yourself. You set free that emotion. You set free whoever was involved. If somebody comes up that was involved with that emotion and then you let it go. Once you do that, it's almost like you start going higher. [00:31:20] Speaker A: Like you said. That's why it's such good therapy. [00:31:22] Speaker B: Yeah, it's such a good therapy because you're doing that through various things. And that's another thing that I want to mention. I have had a lot of experience in shedding meaning, like just working on myself. And as much as I like shadow work, and I've enjoyed shadow work because at first it was brutal. It ripped me apart, like, as far as when I started my awakening process, because everything's so dense. And as we Start clearing more. We start understanding really what those emotions are about. So once I went to ayahuasca, me having that extra experience, I guess, really helped me out. However. [00:32:00] Speaker B: We. You just get tired. You get very exhausted because you're really being drained. Like, so what's happening is. And then you can't eat. Like, you eat in the morning, you have a breakfast, and then you go through it, and you go without food until nighttime when you have dinner, once the ceremony is done, and they provide to you breakfast and dinner. But the one thing. [00:32:26] Speaker B: That happen. [00:32:29] Speaker B: That was really interesting for me to mention is that they asked me, how do you want to go about you? Because I know. We know that because you're diabetic. One of the things about ayahuasca is when it goes in and starts working on your brain, it is literally feeding off of the glucose. So because of that, it drains out the glucose, and we want to make sure that you're okay. So how can we assist? And one of the things during the whole diet that saved me because I had a. I grew a new love for apples. I'm just going to say it because that was the one thing you could have. Endless. [00:33:06] Speaker A: And it's sweet. [00:33:06] Speaker B: Yeah, and it's sweet. So what I did is I just cut apples in small pieces, and I just had a plate right next to me. And when I felt like my sugar, because I'm very receptive of my body, so when I felt like I started feeling like a little dizzy and stuff, I would just have a little piece. And one of the things that it. It does. It does do, is it makes you usually like, purge out. And that purging out, it means that throwing up. So you always get a bucket right next to you. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't know this. See, I knew that for cambo, but I didn't know ayahuasca people typically vomit. [00:33:40] Speaker B: Yes, typically vomit. [00:33:41] Speaker A: That's the purification. Yeah. [00:33:43] Speaker B: But because you're clean eating again, it's not like you're throwing up tequila from last night. It's literally just clean eating. So. And as soon as you throw up, the. The people there, like the. The people hosting, they grab that bucket and put a brand new bucket. So you never have, like dirtiness or anything. Or in the case you get it on, whatever they clean it up. It's like they're always on top of you. [00:34:07] Speaker A: Right. So it's an emotional cleanse and a physical. [00:34:10] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:34:10] Speaker A: I see. I didn't know that. [00:34:12] Speaker B: Yep. And so when you first take it, you can't drink water. Until like almost two hours from it. That's when they start offering water. Because if you start taking water, you're going to immediately throw it back up. I was one of the lucky ones that I didn't throw up. Even though I was even having apples and people could not eat anything otherwise it would just throw up. But because I was having it in a way to balance my, my sugar levels, it just, it wasn't affecting me. I sort of threw up, but not really. And it was just like the medicine itself. They say, like, as long as you keep the medicine 45 minutes in from the moment you're after that, it's fine. It's already in your body. So even if you throw it up, it's no big deal. So that's what happened to me when I was on it. Like, I did not the first night, it was like the second night towards the end and then the third night. But. [00:35:06] Speaker B: It was very interesting because the amount, I mean, we would need like six episodes for me to explain everything. And we're not obviously going to go over explaining everything I went to, but I did narrow it down. So the first night I dealt with everything that had to do with my mom, my relationships with friends, partners and husband. But it was so interesting because. So it's no like ayahuasca is known as a grandmother and she's very loving and supportive while you're taking the medicine, she's not yelling at you, she's not demanding anything out of you. And when you're, when you're feeling like you're getting stuck, like you're really drained emotionally, it really supports you on seeing things a different way. Every time I've done releases for mother wounds before Ayahuasca, they were very hardcore. They were very like, you're facing this, you're crying. It was so emotional. In Ayahuasca. [00:36:10] Speaker B: Broke down my wounds in the best way possible. It brought my mother when she was little and I got to see her life of the woundedness that she received through her life so that I could really understand why some of the. Why she acted a certain way. In other words, in other words, it was. She was just following what she had been gone through herself. And I love that way that I was shown because it allowed me to understand her at a very core level. It allowed me to sympathize for her, but also to forgive her and to forgive myself for holding those feelings and to just let it go. And it was so mind blowing. My, the relationship with friends, it showed me all my friends. It Showed me how come sometimes I couldn't explain certain things. And it was because. [00:37:08] Speaker A: Show you me. [00:37:10] Speaker B: Funny enough, my spiritual friends didn't show me. It was more like childhood friends. [00:37:15] Speaker A: I was just curious. [00:37:16] Speaker B: Yeah. No, and they didn't really. It showed me as a tribe, like, what comes to it after those experiences with certain friends. Like, for example. [00:37:25] Speaker A: You mean when the friendships have eased away? [00:37:27] Speaker B: Yes. [00:37:28] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:28] Speaker B: Especially because, like, even the ones that haven't eased away, like, we all have those friends that are kind of lingering because you had them for so many years. But one of the things is, like, you don't understand sometimes, like, because you don't want to. Like, it's giving that pass to people that have been on your life for so long. So you don't want to push them away or like just. But one of the things that starts happening is they start going away on their own. And. But even the ones that have stayed, it shows you, like, they cannot see you for who you are because this is the things that they're facing themselves. [00:38:01] Speaker A: I see. Yeah. [00:38:02] Speaker B: And so it shows you that aspect. So it's very much like the only. The best way that I can explain it is. [00:38:10] Speaker B: You get to see people's wounds exactly, like around your whole life, all your relationships, and you get to finally realize that it's not. It was never about you. Because we all come with preset things. Things, for example, traumas that we've been facing. And it's up to everyone to heal them. However you do, there's only a certain amount of things that you can tolerate from people. And that means your boundaries. Like, you can have that person in your life, but however, these are the things that they're working with. And what are you going to do from this point on? Like, what. [00:38:44] Speaker A: With that awareness. [00:38:45] Speaker B: Y. My husband really got me really hard because my husband is very wounded as far as he endured a lot of emotional abuse growing up, and I got to see him in a complete new light. [00:39:01] Speaker B: But. [00:39:03] Speaker B: One of the things that was very profound is that. [00:39:08] Speaker B: You don't feel sorry for people. That's one of the things that they. That ayahuasca shows you because it shows you that everyone is going through their own journey and their journey is sacred. And you feeling sorry for someone is very ego centered as far as you're not helping them, you're discrediting them and you are actually putting them down by having those emotions. Because if you truly want to help someone, you empower them. [00:39:37] Speaker A: Yes. [00:39:38] Speaker B: You. You have compassion for them. You realize where they're at because Once upon a time you were there, but then you also are no longer there. So you let them go to have their own journey, which is a form. [00:39:52] Speaker A: Of unconditional love, which a lot of people don't realize. That is what unconditional love is. [00:39:57] Speaker B: And so that's a good point that you just brought up. Because as I was clearing all these relationships, I started feeling really good. Like, but something within my heart started feeling really good. And it's that exchange that you're doing. Because every time you're letting go and you're acknowledging things, you're giving yourself that unconditional love back to yourself that you at that point could not understand because you were going through so much. Now, day two, let me just ask you this. [00:40:30] Speaker A: But that was your experience. Someone else could have a completely different experience on day one. [00:40:35] Speaker B: Yep. Because it's all based on your subconscious. Whatever you've been hiding, whatever you haven't been able to face, that's what ayahuasca is going to bring. So that's, this is another reason why not everyone's ready for it. Because you need to make the decision in your life. Am I really ready to face everything? Because you have no control. In fact, you're going to find out when you do ayahuasca, that control is really a huge illusion that it does not exist because you just no longer. You're not driving that ship, I can tell you that. [00:41:12] Speaker A: Okay, so what happened for you personally on day two? [00:41:15] Speaker B: On day two, I got to release one of the biggest entities of my life. And that was the entity of pleasure. And it was pleasure in so many different ways. It was in food, it was in just doing things like being self destructive and everything. And I fed it for so long did it appear to me? And it literally said, I own you. And I was like, the hell you do. But here's the thing. [00:41:46] Speaker B: I stopped drinking. I stopped doing everything in my life when I started my spiritual awakening. But before that I was very self destructive. So you're going to measure out those years, right? So you're talking about 30 plus years of complete feeding, hedonistic behavior. Yes. And so he comes on and he says to me, who do you think rules this world? And I said, what do you mean? It's like, think about this world. It's all on cheap thrills. I've been fed, I am so powerful and all this stuff. And I was just like, yeah, you're out of your mind. And but because I've done it for so many years, it needed to be released. In so many levels. And anytime I try to, like, I felt like, okay, I'm tired of this. I just want to get out of this. I don't want to face this anymore. I would look up and try to see a light and go towards it. Every time I try to escape it, I would drop to a darker part. [00:42:43] Speaker A: So you were forced to face it no matter what? [00:42:46] Speaker B: Exactly. Face every layer where I giving it the power and taking my power back. [00:42:53] Speaker A: Thank you. This is a good example of why people should prepare for this kind of work. Yeah. [00:43:00] Speaker B: So everything you've been feeding, especially where you've been really giving your power to, it could be different for everyone. Some people, like, I used to, like, please people, like, please everyone and just completely forgive myself. But then as I started growing up, I really started feeding into just giving this power away. And is that as soon as I finish the last layer, it went into embodying my divinity. And that was beautiful because it went completely from a place of losing the part of me that was so. I felt so broken at that part. But I realized I wasn't broken. What I was is I was misunderstood. And there was no one that could help me because I needed to experience that, to learn the lesson so that I can move forward and really be able to see myself from a different light. And when my. When I started, when ayahuasca started showing me about embodying my divinity, everything was collapsed down. Like, I. [00:44:05] Speaker B: I really got to see how when we don't honor. Like, when you honor your divinity, you're able to see the divinity in everyone else. When you. When you. When you step into your divine self, you get to see all the programs that have held you hostage collapse down because they can no longer hold you. When you embody your divinity, you realize you were never alone. When you truly embody your divine self, you realize that you are complete and that life has always trying to show you. But you picked your pain and you allowed your pain to be stronger than anything else. And that's what's kept you away from seeing who you truly were and accepting the divine part of you that you thought was missing, but all along was there. [00:45:00] Speaker B: So that was like, just freaking incredible, right? And right when I think like, oh, my gosh, this is insane. What could I possibly even go through? Day three. And day three was my death and rebirth. [00:45:14] Speaker A: Very Scorpio. [00:45:15] Speaker B: Yes. For my birthday, I received my death and rebirth. And it was insane, you guys, I. I was. I don't know why. I guess my head was like, everywhere. And so I thought for sure when it was like, when I was talking about death, I thought, oh, yeah, I definitely see, like, there's that ego death. And I talked to my ego, and I was like, it's gonna be fine. Even though the ego was freaking out. And I said, we'll get through this. We're just evolving into a new form. You're coming along. You're not being left behind. And so I witnessed the ego death. And then all of a sudden, someone held my hand and said, it's now your turn too, brother. And at that point, I have to face all my fears for death, for physical death, because. Because I thought it was physical death, but it's not physical death. It's the death of who you thought you were in. [00:46:10] Speaker B: After that, ayahuasca didn't go quite through their rebirth because they showed. They. They showed me something and they explained something. They said, you're not quite to the rebirth yet because you've let go of everything. You're not. But it's kind of like the caterpillar and the butterfly. The caterpillar, before it becomes a butterfly, it dies completely. It turns actually into liquid in order to form into a new shape, transform into something else. So you've done the work that leads you to it. The rebirth is part of what you're going to go through. And right as I thought that was already so intense enough, the integration was off the chart. Because at night, I would have. My subconscious would give me very vivid dreams of things. I was letting go and I would wake up and I would write it down and I would enter my dreams. And because I was doing. [00:47:11] Speaker B: Going through it was translating my dreams, but it was also. [00:47:15] Speaker B: Showing me how from that experience, it was all linked to. Was all linked about the things that were ready to be let go. And what's really interesting is a week after integration where I thought, like, oh, my goodness, I have lost so much already. I, like, just completely don't even know who I am. I have a dream because after, like. [00:47:42] Speaker B: Two hours of being ayahuasca, they announce, whoever's ready for a second serving. You may have a second serving serving. It's not open. [00:47:50] Speaker A: How do they serve it? I'm sorry, this is a little bit of a digression, but no. [00:47:54] Speaker B: So how they serve it is, as I said, it's a combination of two plants, but it's already gets premixed. So they bring in this pitcher with it, and it's a clear pitcher, and they put it in and they serve it in little cups. [00:48:06] Speaker A: So it's diluted in. Yeah, like water. [00:48:10] Speaker B: It has water in it, but it's not necessarily diluted. Think about it as a tea. So the two plants kind of form a tea. But it gets stirred because it's very root, like. [00:48:19] Speaker A: So it's hot? [00:48:20] Speaker B: No, it's actually completely temperature. [00:48:23] Speaker A: I don't know these things. [00:48:24] Speaker B: That's why I'm asking. [00:48:25] Speaker A: And I think they'll be curious too. [00:48:26] Speaker B: It's very like, it's completely just like temperature. Like it's not cold and it's not hot. When you try it, the flavor is very strong. It's not quite bitter, but it's not sweet. It kind of has a weird kind of in between thing. Once you do have it, they do give you a little bit of water too, because you have the taste and then when you drink the water, you kind of bring it down. And there's also offer you a piece of apple because sometimes you have that taste, the leftover taste. So the little piece of apple, when you eat it, then it takes completely away. [00:49:00] Speaker A: Is it kind of bitter? [00:49:01] Speaker B: Yes, it's a little bitter. Okay. [00:49:03] Speaker A: Yeah. And I was asking, as you mentioned the word serving, you were asked if you wanted a second serving. And at that point you said, everyone's. [00:49:13] Speaker B: Asked. [00:49:14] Speaker B: Well, at the in ceremony, everybody's asked if they would like a second serving. They can come up. And I ask, are you limited on the servings? They said, no, you can have as many servings as you want, as many servings as your body can handle. And then I said, well, what would be the cutoff of like, they're like, if you can't get up and get a second serving, then really you're not ready for it. Every single night I was on the actual physical ayahuasca ceremony. I never went for a second serving because it was more than enough. But in that dream I stood up and I went and I got a second serving. And I could think to myself like, are you nuts? Like, why would you get a second serving? And in the morning I entered the information into a dream translator and it said, your body has now finished up the first part, now wants to go deeper. Your. Your soul wants to go deeper and find out like new things and stuff. And it was insane because right after that I had a big. I had a big release again. Like literally two days after that I had a big release. And then a friend. [00:50:26] Speaker B: Invited me to go do a scalar wave healing, a complimentary one for two hours. So scalar wave goes so perfect after ayahuasca because Scalar wave is a way to heal the cells, heal the final programs from the cells. So when I went, it was just insane what it did. Like, it was just so. So it is quite the experience. It changed my life. [00:50:56] Speaker A: Yeah. So you're conscious the whole time? [00:50:58] Speaker B: Yes, you're conscious the whole time. And so here's the other thing that I didn't add is like with their, the, with the releasing, because your body's doing the physical release, you may want to go to the bathroom. But here's the thing, as long as you're following a diet, it's never like, oh my gosh, I gotta go. It's almost like, oh, now it's time. I want to go to the bathroom. And the people assisting you ask, are you okay to get up? Do you need help getting up? So they help you get up. Because sometimes when you're laying down, it's not like the most comfortable thing to get up. They can even help you, walk you to the bathroom and just let you go to the bathroom. In the bathroom, there's a bucket in case you needed to throw up while you're in the bathroom. So they're all prepared. I guess I just felt very, very safe. Which is a good feel to have during those things. [00:51:47] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. So I do have a question. [00:51:51] Speaker A: What would you tell someone who's curious but they're not quite sure about. About whether it's time for them to. [00:52:02] Speaker A: Reach out to somebody about ayahuasca. I mean, what kind of advice would you give, like somebody like a friend? [00:52:09] Speaker B: All I would say is once it's. Once you do hear the call, it's very clear. It's not a questionable thing. It's not a thing like. So, for example, I can tell the audience you should all find out about ayahuasca by like, maybe watching some documentaries. If you watch the documentary, if it's not for you, it's not going to have any kind of resonance with you, any kind of energetic call. You're not going to feel really attracted. You're like, oh, great. Like, oh, I see. But that's about it. When you actually hear the call, like, meaning you're ready to receive the medicine. And I was, I heard the call at this point. But there's different levels. It doesn't have to be that you have to be experienced with your spiritual awakening to hear the call. Some people at a very early part, they go through and they hear the call. It's an excellent medicine for those that are completely blocked. One of the things I did. [00:53:09] Speaker A: Oh, really? Yeah, So I would think that they would, because of the prep work, that that would be difficult for someone who feels completely, completely blocked. [00:53:17] Speaker B: So there's people that have gone through such huge traumas that are so blocked. [00:53:23] Speaker A: That, oh, like they're almost dissociated. [00:53:25] Speaker B: Yes, there's in those people. Ayahuasca is great. So, for example, people that have been raped and cannot face those parts, I've heard that that's great for the only people that they're not. Oh, and one other thing I want to announce is one of the things that the medicine cannot help and in fact, fact it contradicts, so you cannot. Is if you're diagnosed bipolar or schizophrenic, it's not a good combo for you. [00:53:53] Speaker A: Everything works differently chemically. [00:53:55] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. [00:53:56] Speaker A: In those situations. Yeah, I remember that from when I was a quit smoking coach. [00:54:00] Speaker B: But what is really interesting is if you're extremely depressed and have anxiety, it's great for that. It's like extremely great for that, actually, because it shows you, like, what is really what the root of it is. Exactly. [00:54:12] Speaker A: Yeah. So you can. Once it's identified, you can work with it. [00:54:16] Speaker B: And while you're laying down, they do play music, and they play the most beautiful music because all these music is so charged up. For an ayahuasca ceremony, you will experience music in a way you've never experienced it before. And then after we were done with ceremony and we closed ceremony, like, again, we hold hands, we a prayer. [00:54:38] Speaker B: We get to eat together. And when you eat, your taste buds are enhanced, so it's like the most flavorful food you'll ever have. [00:54:49] Speaker B: And we came in as complete strangers. I did come with a friend of two friends, actually, but the rest I didn't know. And you come out of those retreats just feeling like family because you experience so much with those people. People. And I think that's the beauty. The biggest take that I get from it is emotions are meant to be experienced. They're not our enemies, they're misunderstood. Our shadows or anything that we see as dark is just. [00:55:21] Speaker B: It's just a dark part of us that has. Hasn't embodied light. But by bringing the light of understanding where it comes from, it really allows us to look at it in a different way. I feel like my life has been changed because I can no longer see life the same, because there's so much more deepness and depth that I've seen. But I also feel like it charged me up to be willing to experience life in a whole new way. Like where have I hold been held back from truly experiencing what I should be experiencing rather than having an emotion have control over my emotions? So. [00:56:05] Speaker B: If you're ready, I 100% recommend it. If you hear the call and you feel aligned to it. I do 100 respect the medicine. So yeah, I don't even know what I could possibly at to it. [00:56:21] Speaker A: I think you've been very straightforward about your personal experiences and hopefully that helps people who are listening, especially if they've been on the fence about whether they want to pursue ayahuasca. I agree with you about, about, you know, you'll know if it's a firm yes or a firm no, because for me, it's always been a firm no. I'm fine with that. Y, I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:56:45] Speaker A: But also, I, I, I. It was very good for me to hear all of the benefits that you experienced. And. [00:56:55] Speaker A: I guess you know, it's all a matter of your own discernment, Right? [00:56:59] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:57:01] Speaker A: So thank you, thank you to my co host for sharing those experiences with us and hopefully helping you get a few questions answered about something that most of us, we don't, we don't talk about it at the dinner table with our parents. We don't know much about it. So we have to rely on the few people who have had that experience. And so I thank you for that. [00:57:24] Speaker B: Yes. Thank you for listening. [00:57:26] Speaker A: And speaking of thank yous, thank you to Mystical Wares who sponsors us. Please go to mysticalwares.com and take a look at what they are selling there. And please take a look at my website too. It's www.lolasinger.com. i would love to do readings, tarot readings or spirit guide drawings for people who listen to Wooville. [00:57:49] Speaker B: Yes. And she's amazing at it. [00:57:51] Speaker A: Ah, shucks. All right, we'll see you next time. Bye.