EGO: "THE BARKING CHIHUAHUA"

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Woowooville, the next stop on your spiritual journey. I'm Lola Singer and I'm here with my co hosts. [00:00:10] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Pamela. [00:00:12] Speaker C: I'm Amaril. [00:00:14] Speaker A: And I'm confused because we're going to talk about the ego today. We were trying to get ready for this since kind of talking about ego in general, and I'm the one who calls it the barking chihuahua. So that's what the title is, the ego, the barking chihuahua. Because a Chihuahua barks at things that are benevolent as well as things that are malevolent, like a leaf. It doesn't have discernment, you know, because a small dog has to have bravado, right? And that's the way the ego operates. It's always, this is potential danger. This is potent. Oh, the nice man who just gave me food. Oh, no, you're still potential danger, says the chihuahua. So that's how I think of the ego. And we're going to go into that a little bit more. But one of the things why I'm confused is because the more you talk about ego, we discovered as we were getting ready for this episode, I had to laugh because the more we were talking about ego, we realized that you can't talk about ego without ego becoming involved. [00:01:28] Speaker B: We had some funny stories on different aspects that we saw that we've overcome in our lives around our ego. [00:01:35] Speaker A: Yes, yes. And ego, you know, it's so tricky. You know, that's why I always say that the barking Chihuahua, you take it outside and then you're like, wait, how did you get back in? I just took you out. That's the way the ego works. So it's got so many. It's got so many traps. And what we were talking about, we're like, well, should we talk about this? No, that might sound like I have a big ego. And then you realize, oh, no, that's the ego trying to keep you small. So that's still ego. Bark, bark, bark, chihuahua. Okay, so anyway, ego aside. [00:02:18] Speaker C: All right, well, first, let's start with the definition of ego. So, ego, or egos, plural, the psychoanalysis is the part of the mind that medit mediates between the conscious and the unconscious, and it's responsible for reality testing in a sense of personal identity. [00:02:37] Speaker B: Yes. [00:02:37] Speaker A: And the unconscious is your fears. So that's why it. It's scanning for things that could cause danger or fears constantly. And you usually. And they can be subconscious fears we're not even aware of. Man, this is a trippy, tricky concept. Yeah. [00:02:55] Speaker B: And how on we were saying how at the beginning of the journey, you might. I remember hearing a lot about ego death. Let's talk about that for a minute. [00:03:06] Speaker A: I don't think you should kill your ego. That's all I'm saying. [00:03:10] Speaker B: When I was out there and seen so much, it was, you know, the death of the ego killing this how, you know, we shouldn't have ego and all of this kind of stuff. And I definitely felt confused on this subject quite a bit. It was like a lot of information saying, don't do it this way. But then I started thinking, huh, how does this feel within me? So again, when this comes back to your own spiritual journey and you're hearing maybe new concepts for the first time, run it through your own barometer and say, like, how does this feel within me? Doesn't mean it's not true or not, but it's like, does something feel off for you? Are you confused about something? That's kind of a touch point to go, huh? I'm not sure about this. Let me look into this deeper before we do. [00:03:55] Speaker A: My ego, my chihuahua is barking because it thinks we're supposed to introduce ourselves. [00:04:01] Speaker B: That, too. See, we try not to be an ego and not be about ourselves and what we are here to do. But then here we are out here promoting ourselves in a way because we have skills and things to offer. And it's not about, you know, me being this or you being that. And we get all caught up into this self identity. So the labels, but for lack of a better word, the labels and some of these things do help people know, hey, this is what this person does, or this is how they, you know, see, or what their training's been. So you can kind of match up and say, oh, I'm interested in that concept. Maybe this person can help me. [00:04:39] Speaker A: Yeah. So we're just dealing with all these ironies. So is it ironic to introduce ourselves in what we do when we're talking about ego? [00:04:49] Speaker B: It's very ironic. [00:04:50] Speaker A: I'm going to anyway. [00:04:52] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:52] Speaker A: Okay. I'm Lola. I am a tarot reader, tarot teacher. I also draw spirit guides, and I speak and sing in light language. I run a free light language drumming circle that occurs once a month. You can learn more about that. I have a Facebook group called Light Language drumming circle with Lola Singer. I'm saying this not out of ego. I'm saying to let you know if that's something that's available for you. I also am at a store called Mystical Wares, doing tarot readings and spirit guide drawings twice a month for their Saturday fairs that are in Mount Vernon, Washington. So there you go. I can say that that is who I am. That's what I do. I don't feel ego attached to that. Just stating that, I guess where you get into the ego is like when you say, like, I'm one of the premier tarot readers of my region. [00:05:55] Speaker B: Right. [00:05:56] Speaker A: You know, I've been studying with the same tarot teacher for 13 years. Every Wednesday I'm still in class. Because when you're studying esoterics, there's more and more and more to learn, to more and more to unravel. I'm stating that clearly and succinctly, but I can see where someone could think that's ego. But that's just the way it is. That's why a lot of people don't know. They don't invite me to dinner on Wednesday nights or to partake in group functions on Wednesday nights. They know I'll always say no because I'm going to be at that class. But I can see where if you were to tell someone that I've been studying with the same esoteric teacher for 13 years, that can really sound like an inflated ego. It's so touchy. [00:06:42] Speaker B: Yeah. And, you know, I also get into, you know, when somebody's talking about themselves or promoting themselves, can you feel. I know I can. It's like when somebody sounds like they're boastful or pushing what they do up into an elevated status or they get a big sense of their identity attached to what they do. Like, these are some things that you do to help identify your services. But we know we are so much more than what we here are to do and offer as part of our gifts and talents in service. But it is like, how do you talk about yourself without labels and without having some sense of, oh, I'm this and that. You know, it's. I totally get what you're saying. In fact, many times you're often, I think, in this lifetime, especially about how to promote yourself is hard for you. [00:07:37] Speaker A: Yeah, because I don't want to be blowharded. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Yeah. You're like Lola says, I don't want to be your guru. I don't want you to come and see me as, I don't think anyone. [00:07:46] Speaker A: Who'S gone on the spiritual path really ultimately does want to be your guru because we want you to help yourself heal. [00:07:54] Speaker B: Yes. [00:07:54] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:55] Speaker B: And I feel like a true, you. [00:07:56] Speaker A: Have your own power. [00:07:58] Speaker B: A real true sign is somebody saying, oh, I want to come to you and have accolades and people following them, thinking, oh, I've got all the answers. When really we want to empower others to find the answers for themselves. And when we see, I know when I see a client do something that they weren't able to do before, oh, I get a so sense of enjoyment, fulfillment, not just watching their growth and evolution, but also seeing them, you know, it's like the Fisher story. It's like seeing them to fish for themselves, you know? So I appreciate, appreciate that about you. And many times I think sometimes you are a little bit on the more humble side, when you could really be more. A little bit more, I don't want to say out there with it, but certainly not hiding yourself under a bushel. [00:08:44] Speaker A: So, yes, because the ego is tricky, because it keeps you small as well as keeps you feeling aggrandized. It is. Oh, man, that little bark in Chihuahua. Bark, bark, bark. [00:08:54] Speaker B: That's why I think it's so tricky. [00:08:56] Speaker A: It's super tricky. [00:08:57] Speaker B: It's a slippery slope. [00:08:58] Speaker A: And then what I noticed about you is you talked about your client, but you didn't talk about what you do. So there's an ego thing as well. [00:09:05] Speaker B: Hi. [00:09:07] Speaker A: I mean, this ego thing's turning out to be quite the slippery eel, isn't it? [00:09:12] Speaker B: I feel like I straddle both sides of that, too, where it's like I feel so much more comfortable talking about other people. And I love to see, in fact, this is one of the gifts I love about myself, you know? And that's hard to say sometimes, the things that I love about myself. [00:09:27] Speaker A: Right, because the ego saying, you think you're so special. [00:09:29] Speaker B: Oh, I can hear that. As soon as I start to kind of push myself up, I start to hear, oh, you think you're all that? Or, you know, I put photos out and they're like, I could hear in my head, people say, oh, you. She's always taking a selfie. Like, these stories come up to kind of keep you small and go, whatever. Whatever that story is of how I think people are perceiving me. But, yeah, part of my gifts here to humanity, the way I am serving now, is to be an energy healer, you know, psychic medium. I do life coaching, which I started this last year, which I really enjoy, helping people go dive deep into, really, things that have been kind of stuck for a while, traumas and things like this. The other part that I like, the deeper gifts of a shaman is, you know, connecting people to their animal totem or soul retrieval or, you know, there's just all different types of healings that shamanic work can lead you to working with weather and divination, these kinds of things. So these are just some of the offerings that I have, and I use kind of a combination of different things as a reiki master and different tools I've learned along the way. I do also sometimes sing in light language, and that kind of comes out. But one of the things I think I am good at is being a natural listener and counselor in a way, so that during sessions when I'm working individually, people are able to really just sink deeply into something. And speaking of some of the things that you find out about yourself, one of the things that I found out along the way was when somebody's sharing something about themselves, they're telling a story to me and they're speaking, but they're sharing some things sometimes that are very raw and vulnerable. And I can feel it in my heart and I start to cry. We've talked about this in another episode, but one day I heard, and his message was, you're helping people process emotions as kind of like a surrogate, you know, a midwife. Like, they're not able to get to that emotion. And I can feel that. It's like, yeah, you're telling me that, but they're not expressing. I can feel when it's just, yeah. [00:11:45] Speaker A: You'Re the empath, right? [00:11:47] Speaker B: And so I am able to help move that energy and feel into that and go deeper with that than they would be able to do on their own. And that in that way starts to release its hold. So in that way. And I never saw that as, I just thought, oh, I'm emotional. I always just cry hearing somebody's story or whatnot. But then one day they said, do you realize what you are also doing? It's not just that. So I think that, you know, being healer, being a healer and working with people, you're going on your own journey, and part of that is first healing and looking at yourself and understanding things about yourself. And I know there's times when I've certainly walked into a situation and had kind of an attitude and felt I was better then and I could be like, what's this about? I'm like, ooh, this feels very queenly. Like I want to just boss people around and tell people what to do and. And how I might feel better than X, Y and Z. And I just now kind of look at that and go, oh, this is interesting. I take it as information, you gotta catch yourself. You gotta catch yourself. But I remember times feeling like, oh, I would feel like I was above some things. And then other times when people would, in work situations, maybe I think people thought I was maybe arrogant or something about my energy put them off when I felt like I was completely being genuine and just real and not bringing that in. So it's like you're constantly checking yourself. Is my ego showing up? You were seeing how people. [00:13:18] Speaker A: Chihuahua barking. [00:13:19] Speaker B: It's a Chihuahua barking and I'm not seeing it. And I'm looking at how people are responding to me, or is this something about me that just provokes something in them and a response? So it's this constant, you know, checking and going in and trying to be really real with yourself about the spiritual being that you really are. [00:13:37] Speaker A: It's so important on a spiritual journey to be aware of your ego. And my ego is saying, what do you suppose Ameril's ego is thinking while we're hogging the microphone? [00:13:48] Speaker B: Yeah. And it's funny because I was looking at you going, and I'm going to wrap this up now because I want to hear what Emeril has to say about his chihuahua. [00:14:00] Speaker C: Hello. So my name is Emeril and funny enough. Things that, like, you catch about people and stuff is like, we're all Reiki masters and none of them even mentioned that. But it's just one of those things, like when you talk about yourself, the first thing you're like, so concerned is talking about ego. So I don't offer services of yet. I do offer services. I take that back. I offer breath work every couple weeks on Mondays from seven to eight. And that's my way to helping the. [00:14:27] Speaker A: Collective online breath work class. [00:14:29] Speaker C: It's an online breath work class you can do from your, the comfort of your home. And we have a Facebook page that it has the same name as our podcast, so you can look it up. [00:14:40] Speaker A: It's the woo Wooville group page. If you ever want to contact Amarill to get more information about joining his breath work class, you can just contact him through there. [00:14:51] Speaker C: Yep. And so as far as the ego is concerned, so I. I'm. I have gifts because we all develop gifts as we, as we learn more about ourselves. I'm an oracle. I help a lot. I'm very intuitive. I connected with my light language as well. It's. There's so much things that we could possibly say about ourselves, but at the same time, sometimes when we're talking about ego, it's like we don't want to talk about ourselves because we feel like, oh, maybe we're connecting too much to the ego. [00:15:24] Speaker A: But let's think about it. If the ego is designed to protect us, and it barking at us because we're reluctant to share these things, which a lot of people on the spiritual journey are, it all goes back to safety. [00:15:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:41] Speaker A: That's perceived danger. It's dangerous for me to talk about being an oracle. It's dangerous for me to talk about being a shamanous. It's dangerous for Lola to talk about her light language because people are going to think, you know, that, you know, you're speaking, you need to go to the mental hospital. So for people new to the spiritual journey, and those of us who've been on it for a long time, man, that ego thing is just so darn tricky. [00:16:16] Speaker C: One of the things I do want to add, which she just brought up, obviously, there is a reason for the ego. The ego is there to keep you safe. [00:16:23] Speaker A: It's to keep the body safe. [00:16:24] Speaker C: The body safe. However, it's a function. [00:16:28] Speaker A: It's an important function. [00:16:29] Speaker B: Yeah. So when they say, kill your ego, ego death, what are your thoughts on that? [00:16:34] Speaker A: My thoughts are, if it's a barking chihuahua, I would train my chihuahua. I would not kill my chihuahua. [00:16:41] Speaker B: Okay. [00:16:42] Speaker C: And I have kind of a weird concept because I read something, something before, and it really made sense to me. And it says, before you awaken, you're drunk in your ego. And we don't realize it because it is true. And I'm going to be the first one to admit that I didn't even realize what the ego was until I started working on myself in all that. You're awakened, when you start awakening, you start realizing, when is it really me? And when is my ego trying to jump in for me? And that's the difference. You're just more aware of it. And that makes huge, it does make huge changes in your life, because then you're not gonna be just driven by your ego. But at the same time, I always find it that, and I even shared that before. Is that a good way to catch on? Your ego is when you're having those thoughts in your head and they're really bothering you. And anytime it's connected to your past or your future, it's your ego, because your ego is trying to keep you safe. So then you're thinking, it's almost like using those things to kind of keep you in. It's causing fear within you. Also, when we do certain releases, sometimes your ego is really gonna jump in, because what you're doing is you're taking, you're releasing the things that it has a comfort zone with, and you're moving to an area where it's new. So, yes, it's going to act up, but that doesn't mean necessarily that's a bad thing. That's actually a good thing. [00:18:20] Speaker A: Well, yeah, okay, I'm a Gemini, so my brain's spinning right now because I can see. So I can see so many thoughts at once. So the reason we're talking about this is because in my experience, and I think perhaps in the three of ours, experiences, when you start waking up and you start your spiritual journey, you go through phases. And I do believe for me, one of my phases was very egoic. And so I'm just offering this to you guys so you can watch for it. See, that's the thing. Train your ego. If you catch it, hopefully you can at least laugh at yourself. But if you catch your ego getting inflated, or even conversely, keeping you so small. But I think early in the spiritual journey, there is a tendency to think you're better than other people. It's like, oh, you know, I've wakened up. I've awoken to this. You know, they haven't. Especially if you start covering your gifts. I think the gifts have always been there. It's just they've been indoctrinated out of us. So some things come more easily to people than others. I think that there's a point where I was going, oh, my light language. I'm so special because my light language turned on, you know, around 2010 or so. So it's been quite some time. Oh, okay. Now that I know that it's light language, I'm going to save the world. I'm going to make all these videos, and I'm going to go on tours, and I'm going to bring my beautiful voice that transforms energy to the public. So I did start a YouTube channel, and not very many people found me. So it was a come to Jesus thing. But I think it's necessary to experience that so, you know, to catch it in the future. And the other part of the ego that I was thinking of when you're new to the journey is being jealous of other people, like what you talked about, you know, they're spiritual people. You know, maybe someone on YouTube or, you know, someone who's got a retreat going or that person is so amazing. And I think that jealousy does come up for me. [00:20:48] Speaker B: It was looking at, oh, I think this person's so much better than me. You know, the comparison of, oh, there's so much like, and I would give my power, not realizing I off that I did this, but someone would remember who it was. But since, you know, you seem to put this person on a pedestal, and it kind of made me sit back, and it's just because I admired their gifts so much. I I valued what they had to offer, and I didn't realize that I was doing that. [00:21:17] Speaker A: He did the same thing. [00:21:19] Speaker B: Yeah. It's like you, you. I knew someone else that was waking up and they wanted this particular gift. They wanted to be clairvoyant. They wanted to see things they wanted. They had, you know, it's those things where you, oh, I have this, but you're not willing to look and see what your gifts are. You want what you don't have. You want something that somebody else you think is so good at this. [00:21:42] Speaker A: I'm actually glad that we're going down this rabbit hole because, like I said earlier, certain things come natural to. You have natural psychic skills that uniquely are yours, that come more readily to the surface for you than for other people. So, for example, what Pamela was saying, thinking that, oh, I can't be a good psychic medium unless clairvoyance is my top skill. But she's an empath. She's getting information through feeling. That's just as valid. But that's the ego saying I'm not doing it right, because clairvoyance isn't my most easily accessible skill. [00:22:25] Speaker B: Right. And as, and the thing, too, is to understand when you just starting out, you don't know that the more you stay tuned into your craft and stay tuned into your journey and following that, those do develop like we all have it. We are not any better than anybody else, and we don't feel that way. And so just the fact of where we are is here sharing where we have arrived, the lessons that we've learned. And we certainly don't stout ourselves as better than anybody else. But we can also say, look at where we've gone. Because I can look at different things that I couldn't do as well when I first started. And now I look, oh, whoa, look at like this. Certain things have shifted so much to where something now is very easy for me, and I can reflect as where I was before. [00:23:17] Speaker C: Also, another thing, too, about the ego is the savior complex. Oh, I'm so high and mighty. I've learned so much. Everybody has to learn this. Everybody has to do this. And then you think about the programming. Like, for example, in religious programming, it's kind of the same. So you're doing the same thing, whether you want to call it a different name, it's still the same. It's your ego thinking you're so much better and everybody needs to come along. It's just there's so. There's so many different things that play out when you allow your ego to kind of take over. And so as we learn more, as we experience more, as we awaken more, we just learn how to spot it more. So that's what the only thing that we're learning, but we're not trying to kill it. We don't need to kill it. It's there for a reason, to keep us safe physically, but it doesn't mean it needs to go away. It's actually. It's almost like the way I look at it is self mastery really comes from being able to go within and master your own thoughts and your own feelings in your ego. Yes. It's going to play different tricks because the other thing that people won't tell you is that your ego will attack you differently each time. Because it's learning patterns, it's learning. It's like almost like you catch on to it. Like, okay, that was my ego. Okay, good, I caught it. And then all of a sudden you're, like going and you're freaking out, and the next thing you're like, I just realized it's been my ego all along, but it sneaked up on me. And that's just kind of what it does. It's because the whole self mastery is not an easy task to do, and that's something that we just learned how to spot it easier, but it does help you grow nonetheless. [00:25:07] Speaker A: Yeah. So I think when they're talking about ego death, they're talking about stripping away the falseness, the false masks you've been wearing. But that doesn't mean kill your ego entirely, because it did. If you were in the Swiss Alps and you heard rumbling and you think there's a potential avalanche, your ego is going to tell you, get out of there now. Right. It serves a function. It's constantly scanning for potential danger or predators or like you said, unpredictable situations, because it likes the predictability, it likes the sense of safety around that, right? So when something is even potentially dangerous, it will start. The dog starts barking like any good dog would do, right. So you don't want to get rid of it completely because it's here to protect the body. It's just that there are situations now where we don't have as much physical danger. So now it needs a job. A good dog needs a job. They're pretty smart. They want something to do. So it's trying to find danger and things that aren't as dangerous, but it's trying to convince you it is. So it's like, what is she thinking? You know, what's he up to? He's looking at me funny. You know, it's just so insidious. This dog is just so tricky. It's always finding something to bark at the. [00:26:35] Speaker C: And what's really interesting, that, which Lola kind of brought up, is that before we start awakening, we're in this fight and flight mode. We're always on survival mode. So that survival mode, that's where the ego just prevails because it's got what it wants. It wants that full attention for you to freak out over everything, right? So then as soon as we start awakening, we've realized that we don't need the ego as much because we're no longer thinking with a mindset of the world's against us, everything's against us. So we start finding that peace within. And so that ego starts losing its power. So now it has to be extra sneaky because it's trying. Like, you're literally trying to tell it, hey, I got this. I'm. I'm in a different state now. I'm no longer in that survival state. I don't need you as much. You're coming along regardless. But I'm in control. And then when you kind of start doing that to your ego, it's going to start to train it. Like Lola said, it's like a little chihuahua. You want to train in. Your ego can definitely help you however it needs. You need to teach what really comes to it is you have to teach it that you are the one making the decisions, not the ego itself. [00:27:52] Speaker A: You're alpha. [00:27:53] Speaker C: Yes, you are the alpha dog. [00:27:57] Speaker B: I think the other thing, too is seeing why this comes up so much, is because if you think about it, your ego wants you safe. Like you were saying, it wants you in the comfort zone. It wants predictability. Well, what is that? That's the opposite of growth. [00:28:11] Speaker A: That's the opposite of the spirit. [00:28:13] Speaker B: The spiritual journey is about growth, expansion, like you said, mastery, all this. So of course of that, it's constantly pushing you out of your comfort zone. Take this new class, learn about this subject. [00:28:25] Speaker A: Speak in front of people. [00:28:27] Speaker B: Speak in front of people. Go here and your yourself is going, no, wait, we're not the speaker. We don't do those things. That's not part of our identity. And so the ego wants to come in and keep you safe. So that's why I think it is also on the spiritual journey comes up so much because if you're doing the inner work, you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, you're looking at things and you're reassessing who you are and coming up with new identities and new things all the time. And what does that feel like to the ego? It's like, what are you doing, girl? We just got settled. We thought we knew who we were. No, now you're finding out a new aspect of yourself, or you're finding out, oh, hey, that's okay, I'm gonna go out and try this new experience. And it's like, no, we, that, I don't know about that. That doesn't feel safe to me. [00:29:14] Speaker C: And see, that's the crazy part, is the ego thrives in programming because programming keeps you in a certain way of thinking. It's predictable. You're doing that like herd mentality of you're doing the same thing everybody else is doing. You're not honoring really your true thoughts, you're not going after who you truly are. And the ego thrives on that because it's keeping you safe. It feels like it's safe. The truth is, feeling safe and feeling fulfilled are two completely different things. So what? Like in the inside of us, there's different feelings that we feel, but as we start growing, we start really realizing who we truly are. And that doesn't line up with anything that we've been used to seeing. And the ego is going to come in so strong because it tries to keep you safe. It thinks that you need to be kept safe because you're breaking out of that mold. So just if you even process that thought for a second, it kind of makes sense. So as a kid, you always depended on your parents. You saw your parents as like they're the ones that are going to tell you exactly how life is. Then you start going to school, and then there's other programs, and it's like program after program, everything's the same. All of a sudden you reach this point where like, so I'm being told to be like this. However, now there's new thoughts in my head surfacing up, and I'm seeing that this life that I supposed to be living, it's not really fitting me. And not only that, but it's getting to the uncomfortable part where I no longer feel like I belong here. And you start giving life to those thoughts within and that Chihuahua is really going to start barking because it's like, well, wait a second here we've been going through this path all along, and now all of a sudden, you're like, apparently, you're going off a different route, so it freaks out, and it's just doing what it's supposed to. It's supposed to protect you. It feels unsafe, and that's why it's acting out. But you're the trainer, so depending on what you decide to do is what it's gonna do. [00:31:21] Speaker A: So, one of the things I wanted to pick up on that is, how do you train that ego? And one of the things I've learned is through my tarot studies, because I use a particular deck called the tof t h o t h, or toth. Potato, potato. Nobody speaks ancient egyptian anymore. So, anyway, the toth deck is how I pronounce it. And it, instead of a scary devil on the devil card in that deck, it's a goat. And the goat is laughing. And so what it's trying to tell us is, the goat is the animal nature, right? So that's the fear based protect, protect the body at all costs. Nature of ourselves, we inherited that from Gaia. We're spiritually connected, but we're also connected to nature. It's both. So part of this body is geared and set up that way. Just like a cat. We've got a cat here in the room. She's a predator, but she's also always on alert for being preyed upon. Right, right. So that's what the ego does. So it's a goat in my tarot deck. And the reason it's laughing is because the best way to tame the ego is humor and whimsy and laughter. So when you. When you catch the fact. That's why I call it the barking chihuahua. It makes me laugh. When I realize my ego has been on overdrive and I catch it, I go, oh, you little chihuahua. I thought I took care of. Of that. And I thought we found a solution to that. And I took you outside, and you got in through the back door somehow. Oh, that was good. You did your job really well. See what I said there? You did your job really well. I praise it. But you know what? We're okay. We don't need that right now. [00:33:13] Speaker B: Right? [00:33:13] Speaker A: Okay. So instead go, you stupid ego acting up again, you know? No, I go, oh, that was sneaky. You caught me. Good work. [00:33:22] Speaker B: Good one on me. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Yeah, and then you can laugh about it. And then if the ego kind of escalates, whatever you've been, you know, maybe you got these worrisome thoughts in your head, and you thought you've calmed the chihuahua while you laughed at it. And then it comes back, you know, it keeps trying, bark, bark, bark. Then I start getting more ridiculous with it. So I picture it as the goat, and I tell my. I tell my. Okay, he switched from a chihuahua to a goat because I'm okay. And I tell the goat, if you keep doing that, I'm gonna put a really ridiculously large bow on your head, bigger than your head. You're gonna look stupid. And then if the goat. You know, if that doesn't calm my ego and, you know, I get these fearsome thoughts later, I go, all right, now I'm gonna put you in Minnie Mouse shoes. So you have this whole little Minnie mouse shoes. Do you really want to walk around like that goat? So. But that's humor, right? And that's how you can disarm the ego. It does not know, really, what to do with that because it's so fear based. And here you are going, well, good job, boy, if I'm laughing about it. But if you keep that up, I'm gonna make you even more ridiculous. [00:34:33] Speaker B: Well, I love that imagery that you use when you talked about tarot. I love that. I learned that, you know, you can go around the chart of all the dates, the year, and find your birth card, and my birth card is the queen of wands. And so I asked Lola about this. I go. When we were talking about this before we started, the queen of Wands, she's got her hand over the leopard, right? [00:34:59] Speaker A: Just resting on a leopard's head. [00:35:00] Speaker B: Resting on a leopard's head. And it's basically that she's in charge of the light and dark, the ego side, and she can bring that out should she need it, but she doesn't need to. And it's about self mastery. [00:35:14] Speaker A: Yep. Because she's totally in charge of that leopard. The black spots represent her dark nature, her fears, her subconscious fears. And then the gold is the light that's being shown on it. Right. And so the queen of Wands is totally comfortable with her in charge of her ego, which is represented by the leopard, and not a slave to her fears. She is the alpha. [00:35:36] Speaker B: And that's a good one for me to look at and go, oh, but I'm really embodying this. I'm also not kowtowing. I'm stepping into my power and really saying who I am here and what my gifts are without a need to shirk, but also not in a place of being boastful. And when I think about this, sometimes I think I was recently telling you how I watched this show called Shogun and the samurai and how they were so skillful as warriors and then other times so quiet and peaceful and meek even. And they would have an only until needed. When the time was, you know, it was this force of how they would talk to each other would be so strong, and it was like, wow, you could feel this. So it's there for when you need it. I think about those masters. [00:36:26] Speaker A: Yeah. But they know how to work with their egos. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Yes. [00:36:30] Speaker A: They are masters of their ego complexity. [00:36:33] Speaker B: Yeah. I think about Jesus, you know, how he could miracles, all these things that he could do, and yet being so humble and meek and not into the gifts. When I think about how I want to be in life, it's I want to just show up with out of all of this stuff and just be present and then the moment and connect and then bring these gifts forwards when they have a place to serve, but also not be attached to the labels and things that I have been able to do. [00:37:02] Speaker A: I'm laughing because when you say you want to be like Jesus, so many people could consider that an ego statement. [00:37:07] Speaker B: I know, I know. And if they only knew. I'm not trying to say it that way. That's why we say it's so. I even pulled that card the other day, and that's why, you know, when you said Jesus and I heard Jesus the other day, it was like, oh, this is confirmation. To talk about that a little bit is how, you know, what would Jesus do that, you know, that acronym? You know. [00:37:31] Speaker A: Well, as you go deeper into esoterics, you discover that the devil card is the dark nature of Jesus. It is Jesus. Jesus has accepted his dark and his light. So there's a master, there's a symbol which is the Egyptians masters wand on my devil card. Because once you realize it's all Christ consciousness, and Christ consciousness isn't saying I'm all love and light, Christ conscious saying, I'm perfectly balanced. [00:38:01] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:38:02] Speaker C: Yeah. Also, the other thing that I want to just really bring is so, like Lola was saying about finding humorous and really being, like, to the Chihuahua, like, almost humoring. So think about those two emotions that you're going to give to it. If you get angry at it, if you start cussing it out, if you start, like, just being so mad and getting so worked up, you're giving your power away. And that, and that's what it becomes. It becomes the alpha, the ruler of you, because he's mastering you through your emotions. So that's another observance too, I feel at a very much higher point. Your ego is helping you to master your own emotions, to be able to truly master the thought process that comes to you, how you're going to react to it, and what kind of energy you're going to put to it. Obviously, this is not like beginning ways of seeing the ego, but this is more in the advanced part. What we're seeking is to find that balance. That balance cannot be reached without having that ego there, because that's part of what you're balancing. [00:39:10] Speaker A: And because this is the master's journey, we're constantly catching ourselves, and you will have to be constantly catching yourself too on your spiritual journey. So a good example is, before we started this particular podcast, we were saying, oh, well, should we talk about. Because we've had egyptian lives together, we know it, we're soul family, three of us. Should we talk about our past lives? Oh, no, people are going to think we have big egos if we, I mean, it's just such a catch 22. You've got to constantly check yourself. Okay, is that my ego talking or could it be perceived as ego talking? Oh my goodness, why would we not talk about our egyptian lives? Because it wouldn't feel safe, I guess. And why wouldn't feel safe? Someone might think something like, we've got big egos. When does it stop? Bark, bark, bark, bark, Barkley. [00:40:08] Speaker C: Well, in another thing we talked about too, is that you can have, we all have had so many different lifetimes, you've probably been kings, queens, popular people, whatever. But the thing is, it's not who you were, it's the lessons you learn, what you allowed yourself to learn, that's what you bring back. Um, that is what's of value. Like, just because you were so and so, or whatever famous thing is, doesn't mean that's who you are now. So does it really matter? No, but what really counts as the lessons you learned from that lifetime, because that's all the wisdom you're bringing over to your present time. That's what this is supposed to be about. We come here to learn our lessons, to evolve and to find that self mastery that can only be accomplished by balance. [00:40:57] Speaker A: You know, I'm just thinking about my tarot teacher, Eli, because he remembers over 3000 of his past lives. And I remember him saying one time like he was working in his garden, and then he remembered this past life as a simple ditch digger. And he goes, that was really valuable, you know, but our ego would say, well, no, I want to remember the life when I had, you know, power over people or something like that goes, that was a smart ditch digger. He came through to help me. Oh, okay. So, I mean, that's a lesson, learning to be a good ditch digger, right? [00:41:35] Speaker B: You know, 100%. [00:41:37] Speaker C: And sometimes, like, the most simple, even lifetimes you had in the past bring your most these important things to you that are just so great. Like, for example, I remember having a past lifetime of being a buddhist monk, and that brought me peace. Unfortunate part is I kind of didn't want that peace. Like that peace made me be stuck in that situation and not wanting to face the world because I had peace there. Why would I change peace for chaos, which I came in, kind of makes sense, especially around these times. But nonetheless, we're here in this world to face emotions, so we can't just be stuck with peace. And, I mean, expanding. Exactly. [00:42:16] Speaker A: Just everything is in such a controlled environment at a point. [00:42:21] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:42:22] Speaker A: Experience more and get. [00:42:24] Speaker C: Get out with people, and that becomes more of a trap than actually part of your evolution, too. [00:42:29] Speaker B: And I think that also for people that have Phil, they have the hermit energy. I could think of a few people. [00:42:35] Speaker A: You're looking at me, right? Yeah, I'm a super hermit. I disappear off of social media for months at a time. [00:42:42] Speaker B: And it's funny because when we found out Alola's human design, one of her numbers was about being a hergesthe. And it was like, you know, you're here to help the world, but you're. [00:42:52] Speaker A: Also, oh, yeah, get this. Talk about ego. So I am a role model slash hermit in human design, which means I'm a role model. Look at me. Emulate me. Oh, but I'm a hermit, so I'm hiding from you. [00:43:07] Speaker B: You have to fight me to emulate me. [00:43:08] Speaker A: They're extremes of ego, aren't they? [00:43:10] Speaker B: They are. And that's why I thought it was interesting. You have the same numbers as my daughter. And so I could see that she was going to speak at an event and she was all nervous and didn't want to go out there. And she's like, sometimes I even get social anxiety. And it's just, we were talking about that, but yet she has this. She is a role model, and people see her and the things that she's overcome, just like you. And so I thought, oh, this makes so much sense. When you learn more about these aspects is it is really tough when you have something here to offer and to share and you come here, which I feel all of us do. We all have something to offer. We all have something of value, you know? And that's the whole purpose of coming together as tribe and community, is to see of how we can help one another on that journey. But it is checking yourself when you. Cause it feels really. There's something about the energy that comes forward for me when I'm. When certain things are being channeled and I'm sharing something, and it's like I'm lit up inside. I'm all energized. And then you're like, the fact that I can do this, I get excited by what's coming through, but also, I'm the conduit. I am the energy of which that flows. So, yes, I had to do work to be able to be able to do this for my body, to hold the energy for all these other things. But it's also, I'm getting help from above. This isn't just me, Pamela here, doing this all myself. In fact, part of the time that I, when I'm working with people, is to learn to get Pamela out of the way. So my brain sometimes wants to engage in the process, and I find that many times I have to be like, oh, turn it off. [00:44:52] Speaker A: That's your ego again. [00:44:53] Speaker B: Right? [00:44:54] Speaker A: I have to be consciously aware of what's happening instead of trusting the flow and the intuition. [00:44:59] Speaker B: And I notice that when I get out of my own way and I just let it flow. But part of me just wants to understand and know a little bit more, or whatever it is. It's such a balance. [00:45:10] Speaker A: Oh, a little bit more. That's good. That's another ego thing. And I know people listening will relate to this. There's so many of us who've received trainings, right? Like, Pamela's a certified shaman, Amaril mentioned. We're all three Reiki masters, for example. But yet you're always gonna think that there's more to learn. I can't put myself out there until I do this and that, and I learn this thing, and I go to that place and I do this. So that's an ego trip. That is another trap. [00:45:47] Speaker B: Yes. The constant evolution of I'm not good enough yet, I'm not good enough yet. [00:45:51] Speaker A: But I will be once I get. [00:45:53] Speaker B: The certification, once I get this. And it's funny, one of the groups that I'm in, everyone in there, I find, has. Wears many hats, has a lot of certifications. Another one was saying, I can't do this until I complete this course program. And I'm like, when you see it going around mirrored back to you and many different people who are out here trying their best to give their magic basically into the world, share what they're here to do, to see them stop themselves. Cause they feel like I haven't done enough. [00:46:23] Speaker A: And that's so common on the spiritual journey. That's why I wanted to bring it up as a potential training. [00:46:27] Speaker B: I love that you caught onto that. [00:46:29] Speaker A: But yet there's another point where all of a sudden you start to trust your intuition. And I've been getting that. It's like you don't need more training, Lola. Just get out there. But my hermit wants to kick in and hide. Know that your ego trying to keep you small. Oh, my gosh, the bark and chihuahua again. [00:46:45] Speaker C: But see, even, even your alignment in the flow, when you connect to the flow state, it brings things to you. Example, this podcast, you can be a hermit. You're literally in your house. You can still help others. You're speaking your experience, you're helping others see where they're at in helping them along the path. So you can never just say, I won't do that, or that won't be me or whatever. It's just things always end up aligning to you. When you actually seek out that connection. [00:47:19] Speaker B: You're putting the intention you're taking also think inspired action. And so, like you two, we're having this discussion and talking about having a podcast and even meeting and having come up with episodes. And then, you know, I come in and then we're like, okay, let's take that inspired action. And then things go smoothly. So sometimes it's that balance of when do I. When do I go and when do I hold back a little bit? When do I sit with this? It's not quite ready. Or you're putting the intentional one that's. [00:47:51] Speaker A: Going to keep telling you you're not ready. Right. Right. [00:47:54] Speaker B: So how do you know when it's intuition and it's the ego? [00:47:57] Speaker A: There we go. We don't, do we? I mean, until we recognize it and laugh at it. But we might not. We might think it's our intuition. I mean, it is a sneaky little Chihuahua. [00:48:07] Speaker B: It is. [00:48:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:08] Speaker C: All I keep thinking was that song. Should I say or should I go now? Which is Lola's favorite song, by the way? [00:48:17] Speaker A: Let's say there will be trouble. Okay, so do we have the exact answer? How to check your ego? No, because your ego is going to come up with its own little plan and devise its own little imagination just to keep you in what it thinks is security. But it's actually instilling fear. And it's the, like you said, the past and the future. The past is, oh, it didn't work before, so it's never gonna work again. Oh, you failed at that before. Better not try it. And then the future is, well, what if it doesn't work? Or what if I don't have the right credentials, all that stuff? It's just a matter of learning to catch it. And then once again, not beating yourself up once you catch it, because that feeds the power of the ego. Like, turns the chihuahua into the alpha, but instead saying, using the humor, going, oh, gosh, you got me again. That was a good one. That was a good one. And then dusting yourself and moving off on, because it's never, ever, ever going to stop doing its job. [00:49:27] Speaker B: Yeah. That's the one thing you can count on, just like with change. [00:49:30] Speaker C: And the thing is, since it's never really gonna stop, all we're really trying to do is just bring you some tools to just point it out to see for. See it for what it is. Don't give the importance. Don't go crazy. Don't try to kill it. Just let it be. It's actually helping you. [00:49:48] Speaker A: Well, let it do its function. [00:49:50] Speaker C: Yes. [00:49:51] Speaker A: And praise it for its function. You know, like I said, if you were in imminent danger, it's going to tell you to get out now. Right. [00:50:00] Speaker B: And I feel like even that when you take a step back, let's say it's something like I'd be invited to be the featured speaker on the stage about tarot or something. That's like, you're really good at. But you get this, like, oh, fear. You go, right, saying, oh, we have never done that before. That's the largest audience we've ever spoke to. It starts giving you all supporting facts and everything like that. But when you're on that growth process, you want to honor that. Well, one of the things I've learned, too, is sometimes it's something not from this lifetime that it's showing you. Here's an area to be healed. [00:50:36] Speaker A: Yes. [00:50:37] Speaker B: So here comes up something. And this is something that I found out, like, I don't remember now exactly what it was, but it was something that was, oh, I found in a past life regression. So I do this qaht. It's like quantum hypnosis, something therapy. And, man, I found this past life regression, and I uncovered where this fear had came from, and it was profound and it was completely off my radar at all. [00:51:11] Speaker A: Like, such a good point. [00:51:12] Speaker B: So. And I went, wow. So now I know when this frequency comes in, and I can't know, I don't know exactly why I'm having this resistance. I can kind of go into it deeper and go, oh, this is something that's been unresolved. So now carrying forward, so now it's. [00:51:30] Speaker A: Time to address it and heal it. [00:51:32] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:51:33] Speaker C: Yep. [00:51:34] Speaker A: Same thing with the collective. I forgot. Your ego is going to act up because it's feeling the fears of the collective. [00:51:40] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [00:51:41] Speaker A: It's not always you. Yeah, but it's gonna come through the back door and bark at you because you're sensing what's going on with the heat, with the humanity. [00:51:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, look at any of the. The natural, hazardous, so called natural disasters. I said, wait a minute, the disasters, the politics, the news, the elections, all these things are pushing all this stuff out into the collective of fear and worry. [00:52:05] Speaker A: Manipulation is to look for potential fear prey. Then, boy, they're preying on you with the media, that's for sure. That's going to make the dog. [00:52:19] Speaker B: Barkley, one of the people I see on a weekly basis, loves to watch the news. And so that's how I get a little bit of what's going on in the world. But I find that is probably one of my biggest triggers for when that ego comes right out. It comes out of my mouth, flying out. My response is about this person who's dumb, how I perceive this person to not be intelligent. How could they be fooling us? It just starts coming out, and it's so fast and easy that I'm triggered, and my ego wants to start, you know, saying, going on. So then I'm like, oh, I haven't felt that energy in a while. And I catch myself, and I'm like, oh, that is always something for me to be watchful of, of either stuff on different social media, where people are talking about stuff, how easily you can just be hijacked and take over, and you go, whoa. [00:53:07] Speaker A: Yeah, when you're triggered, that is your ego, isn't it? [00:53:09] Speaker B: Yeah, it's let off the leash. Somebody cut the leash where there was no leash. All of a sudden it's out, and you're, like, running after it, going, wait, let me get you back under control. I liked you on the leash. [00:53:21] Speaker A: Let me put you in a silly little sweater. Yeah. So we were even talking about, I guess we just probably have just a few more minutes to talk here on this episode, but we were even talking about being reluctant because of peer pressure of society to even say some of the things we do, you know, because of like, we talk about the egyptian lives, for example, you know, cultural appropriation. And I'll be talking about the medicine drum. I have, I'm sure, in the future. And I always have concerns that here's this norwegian girl with this native american drum that I've been entrusted to use, and, you know, are people going to consider that, you know, cultural appropriation? So then my dog starts barking, and so far, with the drumming circles, everybody. Well, of course, the drum was made by someone who was very much an advocate of the rainbow tribe of, you know, all cultures coming together. So I know what his intentions were with that drum, and I happened to be the one who uses it for drumming circles, but I can see how that could be misconstrued. So my ego's struggling with that at this very moment. [00:54:40] Speaker B: So did you accept that honor? [00:54:43] Speaker A: It's a huge honor I've been given, absolutely. But yet my ego fears the repercussions of taking that out to the public and doing drumming circles. So it's just like. It's just constant. So it doesn't matter how evolved you are on the spiritual journey, that dog is constantly going to be barking, and all you can do is stay calm as possible. Say, good job. I understand where you're coming from, but you know what? You didn't need to bark that way right now. We're fine. Use your humor. [00:55:17] Speaker B: I was going to ask you a question on that. [00:55:19] Speaker A: All right. [00:55:20] Speaker B: Okay. So. [00:55:24] Speaker A: He'S just been so quiet during this episode. [00:55:27] Speaker C: Well, no, I've been pointing out things. [00:55:29] Speaker B: He says are really good judge, really viewpoints that I, of course, appreciate because I love everything that we add to it. But one of my questions was on that, you know, I know that bringing out the drum, I can feel into it is that, like you were saying that the cultural appropriation and who, there's some strong voices out there in the native community, and rightly so. I understand where they're coming from. 100. I can't say 100% because I don't have all of the lived experiences of everybody, but I can feel into that where are we coming from? But my question is, do you think that I feel like it's multilayered with the drum gift, that do you feel that there's some worthiness issues, or who am I to be gifted this? Is that not a zero, or do you have anything else on top of that? [00:56:18] Speaker A: I think I always knew why. [00:56:20] Speaker B: Okay. [00:56:21] Speaker A: It's just a matter of the ego keeping me small as to stating why. [00:56:29] Speaker B: Do you see that? How not maybe embracing and honoring that people aren't. And I know you feel this energetically that people aren't expecting experiencing the drum and its magic when you play small. [00:56:42] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. [00:56:44] Speaker B: And you're feeling the weight of that because he is now talking to you more and more. [00:56:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:56:48] Speaker B: The person from the other side is. [00:56:50] Speaker A: Not with us in corporeal form anymore, but he talks to me and he talks to people who attend the circle, too, so. Yes. Yeah. Well, anyway, we're gonna an entire drum episode. [00:57:02] Speaker B: I think that would be a great one to talk about because it is a very beautiful gift. [00:57:06] Speaker A: Me with my ego. [00:57:07] Speaker B: Yes. And that's what we're here. And that's why tribe is so important, because as we invariably get tripped up, we can sit there and I can say, okay, guess what I got? You know, this was something I found looking at that. And you think, oh, I know. Sometimes I think I'm past it. You know, it's like, oh, I've conquered this. I've done. It's been coming up for years. I've been working on it. I catch it now. But it is that thing that as you constantly grow and go through it, you are going to see it. And then the fact that we have tribe and community, especially one another, that we can say, hey, you know, this is where I got, you know, can you help me with this or just the conversation and sharing our stories with each other and now we're sharing them with you, our audience. So you get to come along for this. Woo wooville. You know, next stop on your journey. [00:57:57] Speaker A: This helps people understand the ego a little bit better, at least from our perspectives. [00:58:03] Speaker B: I hope so. [00:58:04] Speaker A: So that maybe it helps you along the way, too. So sounds like you have something to say. [00:58:09] Speaker C: Oh, I was just gonna say, look at it as tools just to simplify your work. We all, when we all first started, we all looked up to certain people, and not that we don't look up to them, it's just more like sometimes you get so caught up in your emotions, you can't even catch your own ego until somebody points it out to you. And you're like, oh, my gosh, I freaked out over that the whole time. And it was just my ego that I just had to realize it was there. But just have your own journey. Know that the ego is going to take part of it, but not control over you. Teach it who's boss. And I think that's really all about. We're all about just giving you the tools to use so that that way you can have an easier, I mean, more more tools in your kit. There we go. [00:58:55] Speaker A: I never knew that easy catching the. [00:58:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:58] Speaker B: Well, I definitely haven't tried the humor piece that you suggested, so I'm gonna try that. I'll let you know how that works for me as that comes up, because I've always, just, when I've noticed it, said, oh, interesting. There you are. Oh, yeah. That was my ego. Okay. And I just observed and try to honor it and do my thing, but I haven't tried the humor piece, so that is one. [00:59:17] Speaker A: One tip. [00:59:18] Speaker B: Well, that you help me with that. [00:59:19] Speaker A: I'm on the tarot card. Yep. Okay. So to wrap it up and the episode. [00:59:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:25] Speaker A: Would it be egoic to say this seemed like it was a good episode? [00:59:30] Speaker C: We covered a lot. [00:59:34] Speaker B: All right, on that, we'll let you be the judge. [00:59:36] Speaker A: Yeah, we'll let you guys be the judge. [00:59:38] Speaker C: Thank you for tuning in. [00:59:39] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:59:41] Speaker A: Bye.